LOGINYou’re not supposed to want straight men. Carson Bitters wants nothing more than to feel his secretary inside him. He dreams of it every day. You’re not supposed to fall in love with them. They won’t love you back. But Carson can’t stop longing for Asher Hall; the man his homophobic father handpicked for him. A living, breathing, giant NO. And yet, every time Asher speaks, every glance, every careless brush of his hand, Carson finds himself wanting more. Needing more. And what starts as longing could destroy everything, or make it unforgettable.
View MoreYou don’t fall for straight men.
You don’t spend ample amount of time fantasizing about him. You really shouldn’t spend your entire forty five minute break replaying all the scenes you’ve made up about him in your head.
My personal favorite is the one where he’s in my seat, hands firm on my hips, cheeks flushed, biting my lips because I know better than to make a sound.
Yes I know, a very crazy thought to be having about your secretary.
My straight secretary my father personally handpicked.
It would never happen.
Carson, you know the rule. You don’t fall for a straight man.
You don’t look at straight men and wish they would call you ‘Good Boy’.
Or imagine how their big, rough hands would feel on your skin, or if their mouths are as soft as they look, or how they whispered your name in the dark.
Too many ‘or’s.
Because he will never feel the same way.
Even if he’s wearing a tailored suit the same color as his eyes.
Especially since he was the no fun Asher Hall.
I have never seen the man crack a smile, I doubt his face had the muscles for that.
However, none of these stop me from dreaming about my secretary. If I kept a log of the dreams I have had of him…?
The thought of last night’s dream turns my blood hot.
Too hot.
Not now.
Too late, I thought of it and now it’s replaying in my head.
He had straightened my legs, mouth trailing a straight line from the insides of my thighs, eyes on me the whole time.
“Ash…” I had moaned the name I find myself calling him in my dreams.
Then like a choir master, with all my endings in the palm of his hands, he played with them, tugging them as he wished, fingers digging into my thighs. My entire body shook, he wasn’t done.
His mouth found mine, sucking on it, he swallowed every moan that slipped out of me, his hand crawled down and played with my hardness.
Even now, my body remembers how I came undone in his hands.
“Your meeting with the Richardson is in five minutes, sir.” his velvet smooth voice pulls me out of my head and into reality.
I clear my throat, avoiding looking at his face.
After all, in my head he doesn’t call me Sir, he calls me Good Boy, he makes me come in less than five minutes, and looked at me with a promise to tear me limb by limb.
However, even in my dreams, he doesn’t let me touch him.
“Sir?” he asks, waiting for my response, his expression neutral. I am certain Asher Hall doesn’t know what it feels like to have any other emotion other than cool, collected and very nonchalant.
“Hm?” I clear my throat,
“Yeah, sure. Let’s shift the dinner with Graham tonight, I have the piling research to work on for The Bellmont File.” I say with a wince, he had put the research on my schedule for the past few days, and I did what I did best with research.
Ignored it completely until now.
Underneath his left eye twitches at my blatant disobedience. It gives me a jolt in my pants. He got like that when I disobeyed him, I mean he controls my schedule and therefore my life, and I fear he’s a bit of a perfectionist.
There’s a thrill I get from disobeying him and getting him to do this.
But this time it wasn’t my plan, there’s nothing I hate more than being hunched over lots and lots of paperwork.
“Unfortunately, your father has asked that this meeting be treated with utmost importance.”
Right. Of course he had.
And he wasn’t asking, it was Crawford Bitters way of saying do it, moving the chess pieces from behind the scenes, his favorite thing to do.
There was really no choice here.
So after a meeting with Richardson, a boring affair that could have been over an email, but these people love to say they had a Bitters over at theirs, and so Asher made me fix my face ever so often as he stood behind Richardson.
It was not just funny, it also kept me from imagining his hands on my hips.
God.
I am in desperate need to get laid, and some hobbies. Neither of which would be happening anytime soon.
We were off to dinner with Graham.
Which means a long night of an all nighter.
I didn’t mind. It was more time to spend sitting in the office with Asher, although nothing has ever come out of it, and probably wouldn’t, since he’s in the middle of a nasty divorce from his wife.
But it was nice to stare at him, more material for my late night activities.
Now, I steal a glance at him, he’s spread out in the seat beside me, his glasses are off his face at the moment. His sharp features looking forward, if he feels me looking at him, he doesn’t show it. How many times have I imagined out heads angular before I kissed him?
He climbs out of the car when we get there and opens my side of the door.
I hate that he’s doing it under these circumstances. My father had requested it, and if I want him by my side for a long time, I have to do as he’s asked.
“This way, sir.” he says in his smooth voice that always has an effect on me. There are so many things I would like him to say to me in that voice.
The meeting point, definitely set up by Asher, is a private restaurant, the kind my father would approve of.
The night is cold and dark, the kind where I see my breath in front of me. My favorite season. I really hope there’s a snow storm one of these days, but on one of the rare days where I am off work.
I almost snicker at the impossibility of it.
Graham is already seated, one hand on his cane, mouth twisted in a frown.
“I apologize for time…” I start, instinct kicking in.
“They say you’re the best lawyer in all of Coldwater.”
I hide my wince as I take a seat opposite the old man. Asher stands close enough that I feel his body heat, and presence. It’s very distracting.
Still, what I call the lawyer mode is something I can’t tweak, it comes on the second I sit across a would be client.
“That’s why you keep people waiting??” he continues.
“I apologize for time wasted, however, the meeting was slated for 8pm, and your office agreed to the time. This is exactly 8pm.” Asher answers smoothly. I had no idea about the time or anything. I leave all that stuff to him.
Graham, a man who’s never satisfied, looks disgusted at the fact that he was corrected by a secretary.
Like I would let him treat Asher as he pleased,
“Mr. Graham, what you’ve heard is wrong. I am not the best, I am only the best at making sure cases don’t go to court, saving you a lot of time and money. But we’d be wasting both if this meeting drags on, since I charge by the hour for consultation.”
My father wouldn’t approve of this.
Drag out the meeting as long as possible, get them to spend money, it’s the Bitters lawyer they are talking with.
Graham makes a throaty noise, but gets to it.
It’s a really complicated case, but my brain goes ahead of me, undoing it from the core. I wasn’t good at so many things, but one of my strengths was how to use people and things.
Otherwise, what twenty three year old lawyer climbed the ranks so fast when all he wants from life is to be sprawled across his secretary’s thighs? I’m very good at my job.
Unfortunately, I’m even better at wanting things I shouldn’t.
I sigh when we watch Graham leave.
“Back to the office.” I sigh again when we get to the office, like this is not the part I am looking forward to the most.
Asher turns around to face me. His mouth opens. Closes. Then,
“You had plenty of time to do the research.”
I blink.
Asher had never, ever spoken to me without addressing me formally. And now, with him speaking through gritted teeth, voice still low, I know he’s mad.
The fluttery feeling in my stomach says all of me loves Asher mad.
“Yeah, well, there’s no need crying over spilled milk now.”
He takes a step forward.
I take one back without thinking.
The wall meets my spine.
My eyes are wide as I take him in.
He’s leaning forward and in my face.
“You just love to slack off don’t you?” his voice is low and in my face.
I am more than hot and bothered.
Every part of me lights up like a god damned Christmas tree.
Shit.
“That’s not the only thing I love.” I find myself whispering.
He pushes himself off me, fingers digging into his tie and he tugs it downwards.
“We’re off the clock now, and anything that happens from here out, is solely your fault, Carson.”
Shit.
My throat is dry. Is this my imagination?? Is this real??
Then he turns to me, pausing at the door.
“What are you waiting for? Get to work.”
I don’t realize I’d fallen asleep until I feel the sun on my skin. The first thing I do is swat at the empty space where Asher should be, wanting to feel the warmth of his skin, and soak up his scent. But he’s not there.“Did I wake you?” his voice says instead from somewhere in the room. Pushing myself up, I find already dressed and ready for work. His hair perfectly coifed. He looks so good.“What time is it?”He smiles at me, a warm, soft thing that rips open a bag of butterflies at the base of my stomach.This man is dangerous for my heart health. “11:40.”“Shit,” I curse, pulling the covers off me and shuffling off the bed. I glance at him, then pointed glare at him.“You’re already dressed. Why didn’t you wake me?”He takes my hand, snatching me to himself, I have to clamp my mouth shut to keep from screaming.“You’re gorgeous in your sleep. I couldn’t possibly wake you.” he tells me, eyes darting to my mouth.My pulse spikes.Tongue wetting my lower lip.Asher leans forward,
“That was so fucking incredible.” he breathes. I grin at the praise. Then I watch as he searches for something, I only have to be confused for a few seconds before my question is answered. He’d also brought up lube and condoms. When he meets my eyes, he rolls his eyes.“I want to feel you wrap around me.”Fuck.My dick twitches in excitement.Asher knows how to get a man excited. I shimmy out of my pants and briefs and I lay on my back, waiting for him.Our eyes reconnect, and a lot of emotions pass through those lovely grey eyes, lust shining through, something else, something soft. It chokes me so bad that it’s difficult for me to breathe.His eyes crawl up my body, I blush under his stare. It’s not the first time he’s seen me completely naked, there’s no need to feel shy, yet– He softly parts my legs, bringing his mouth to my V line, he trails kisses along my waist, the insides of my thighs, leaving me feverish every time his mouth comes in contact with my skin. “You’re so b
Asher had set up the roof top while I was in the conversation with Robin. He sold the rooftop short. It has a breath taking view of the city from up here, the lights twinkling in the distance, blankets of white snow on the rooftops, snow flakes falling lazily…It’s all so beautiful that I let myself relax in the moment of it all.Asher drapes a heavy blanket over my shoulders, until he does, I had no idea how much I needed it. My free hands grip the blanket like a lifeline.“I knew about the cold thing.” he starts.Turning to him, he has a blanket around his shoulders, sipping from his cup slowly. His nose and cheeks pink from the cold. He’s adorable.“But you constantly offered me a jacket, you always brought a jacket for me.” I say with surprise.He shrugs, the blanket going up and down is almost cartoon-ish.“I’m starting to feel cold lately,” I admit, the words causing my throat to get sticky on the insides.Asher shuffles closer to me, trying to put his arms around me, but the la
“Oh. Right. I hadn’t told anyone yet. I’m staying over at Asher’s place for the night.” I explain with a proud chuckle when Robin gives me a perplexed look about taking us to the address on the navigation system instead of taking me home.Robin’s expression clouds over, his eyes meeting Asher’s in the rear view mirror, Asher meets his fiery gaze with a cool one of his own. I have no idea what’s going on, and swinging my head to look at both of them makes me feel like throwing up all over the car. Robin’s eyes track to mine and I let out a small squeak. Asher’s hand on my shoulders curl around me protectively, I sink into his touch. My head rolling on to his shoulders. It’s surprisingly comfortable. Every part of Asher is comfortable.“I’m not your fucking Uber.” Robin murmurs, returning his eyes to the road.For the rest of the ride I have my face out of the window, feeling the wind against my flushed skin feels good. The streets are almost deserted. It’s even colder at night, so I u
I had a dream. Asher had fucked my face till I couldn’t breathe. In the dream, I begged for more. I know it was a dream because his voice– ‘behave’ still hangs over me. And I still have no idea what means. I’m awake when he walks through the front door this morning. My feet tangle as I rush out
Professor Obscuro gives me a once over, smile dropping as he goes back to his bed like my very presence is annoying.Now, my self esteem would have taken a hit if I wasn’t already already lugging a massive ego around. “You’re not my type as well.” I sigh, turning the only visitor’s chair around an
“To the nuthouse!” Asher’s eyes roam my face, then my body, bringing his eyes back to my face, brows curled in concern, but for my mental health. “I didn’t ask that you touch my nuts,” Then I wiggle my brows.“Although…” I start, running a finger up the length of his arm, feeling the muscles unde
“I want sausage for breakfast.” I announce. Asher, who had gone to sleep in the guest room last night after my question– looking so distracting-ly good by the way, this would be the first time in five months I’ve ever seen him look ‘just rolled out of bed’ and by god, he makes it so fucking sexy.












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