My FaCiAl Disorder
How quickly everything ended by just a single day, I was just like any other girl in the world- laughing and hanging out with friends, taking endless selfies, having crushes on bad boys and nerds included. I never thought or cared about how I look. It was just mine. Normal and Easy.
But everything changed in one single moment- a moment filled with fire, screaming metal, and a blur of terror that rewrote my life.
I survived. Everybody says I'm lucky but this, this doesn't feel like survival it feels like a punishment, a curse. A curse that am willing to carry all my life. The accident left me with permanent facial disfigurement, and ever since, I've been stuck behind a mask I never asked to wear. My face is the first thing anyone sees, and sometimes, it feels like the only thing they see. I avoid mirrors now. I no longer go out; I can't risk being stared at.
Friends faded. Invitations stopped. Of course they would stop, who would want to invite the hideous me. I would scare everyone, worse, ruin their appetite. They would move away from their tables. What did I expect? Life moved on for everyone but me.
My mom is the only person in my life right now, shes' become my anchor. Even with her love, it's still hard to silence the voices in my head, the ones saying I'm hideous, broken, unworthy. I miss my old smile. I still haven't done anything in life. And this isn't about my appearance it's about my self- esteem, my confidence, my ability to feel like I belong anywhere.
This is a constant battle with the mirror, with the world, and with yourself. And most days, I'm trying to find the strength to look up to.
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Chapter: In The Same Class.By lunch, I was exhausted from pretending I didn't care. I sat on the bench, that me and my best friend used to sit. The one beneath the crooked tree where hardly anyone ever sat. I liked it, even now. It was tucked away just enough that I didn't feel entirely exposed, but not isolated that I'd draw more attention. I sat down carefully, scarf snug and hands in my lap. I had a lunchbox in my bag. Packed carefully this morning. A sandwich, cut diagonally the way Mom always did. Apple slices. A small packet of crisps. Nothing unusual. Nothing loud. And yet... It stayed in my bag. I was hungry. My stomach twisted around itself. Still... I didn't reach for the lunchbox. Because eating meant removing the scarf. And removing the scarf meant being seen. I imagined it- fumbling with the fabric, people walking by, someone catching a glimpse- someone like Melissa or Tasha. Or worse- Jade. What if someone
Última actualización: 2026-03-11
Chapter: The Dark Hallway iiI woke up before my alarm. It wasn't even six yet, but the sky outside my window was already beginning to lighten. For a moment, I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering why I felt so... alive. Then I remembered- him. The memory flared sharp and vivid: the corner of the school building, the faint curl of smoke that he exhaled. The way he hasn't flinched when I caught him. The way he moved- smooth, slow, dangerously calm- as he stepped closer. The heat of his body when he pinned my wrists against the wall, not hurting me, just holding me there. Testing. Teasing. His voice low and mocking. "People love to pretend they're not snitches... Until it's convenient." That look. His breath smelling like mint and smoke and trouble. And me- heart in my throat, unable to speak. I slid out of bed, feet touching the cold floor, and padded to the bathroom. By the time I
Última actualización: 2026-03-11
Chapter: The Dark Hallway iThe last bell rang. And I couldn't wait any longer than I have today. I texted my mom three times to wait for me near the school gate. I shoved my books into my bag with the kind of fury only teenage girls and lightning storms could manage. I went out the classroom and went down the back dark hallway- quiet, empty, shadowed. Quicker exist. I turned the corner sharply- and slammed right into someone. "Agh-!" I gasped, stunning back. The person barely moved.I looked up. It's a guy- he was tall. Automatically, my eyes traveled from his feet up to chest, up to his jaw, then to his face- and that's when I froze. My breath caught in my throat. To my absolute suprise... It was him.JADE VALE. Well known as TJ.The same guy that me and my previous best friend used to blab about. The boy I'd dreamed about,written about, secretly obsessed over- the guy I was in love with since primary. The one I never got to talk too. The guy I would watch from distant. Now th
Última actualización: 2026-03-08
Chapter: The Decision iii I flinched. I was late. Panic twisted in my gut. I clutched my papers to my chest and looked around. Nothing looked the same. The school had changed- walls painted, new colors, rooms reshuffled, halls renamed. My memory from freshman was useless now. I turned a corner, then backtracked. Every classroom number felt out of order. By the time I finally spotted the right room number -3B- my palms were slick with sweat, and my heart had already sunk to the pit of my stomach. I cracked the classroom door open as I slipped inside, trying to make myself invisible. My hands were trembling slightly as I clutched my books to my chest. I hope- prayed- no one would say anything. But as soon as I stepped through the threshold, the room quieted. Just slightly. Enough for me to feel it. Eyes flicked towards me. Some didn't bother hiding their stares. Then my eyes flew to a particular person, Tasha. Oh no. Why did I have to be in the same class as her. As if that was not enough Charl
Última actualización: 2026-03-08
Chapter: The Decision iiAs I walked throught the school gates, it felt like the world pressed pause- like the air itself was thickened and every breath took twice my effort. Everyone stopped what they were doing just to stare at me. Was I too noticeable that it's my first day, that am new after a long time. My footsteps slowed against the pavement and for a moment, I swear even the birds stopped chirping. My heartbeat thundered in my ears like an alarm I couldn't shut off. I couldn't tell if it was fear, or shame, or something in between- but it gripped me so tightly I almost turned back. But then I pictured my mother. The way she smiled when I said I'd try. The way she folded my scarf carefully the night before, like it was armor. I couldn't disappoint her. Not now. The scarf hugged my face gently. Wrapping around my face only revealing my eyes, they are one of my body parts that's still intact and the same. I adjusted it over and over again making sure that only my eyes showed. The part I
Última actualización: 2026-03-08
Chapter: The Decision iWhen I woke up, the world was quieter. Not silent- just... softer. I blinked slowly, adjusting to the morning light pouring in through the pale blue curtains. My chest felt tight, my eyes heavy and swollen from crying in my sleep. My body ached, but in a dull, distant kind of way- like the pain had pulled back just enough to let me breathe. My mom was curled up on the narrow armchair besides my bed, one leg tucked under her, her cheek presses into her palm. Her head tilted slightly towards me, and I could see how uncomfortable she must must have been all night- still in her yesterday's clothes, her hand resting near mine, like she'd been holding it only let go once I'd fallen asleep. She looked exhausted. Fragile, even. There were dark circles under her eyes, and a faint line between her brows that hadn't been there, that's something new. She started to look like this is a few months ago. Did I cause it. I was busy think
Última actualización: 2026-03-08
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