"I don't know that you have that kind of past, Casy," Kate said.
"I just tell that story to the people close to me. Actually, Dhaile is the first one whom I told that story," I replied. "That's kinda terrifying, and also traumatic, but atleast I already overcome that," I added.
"That's sure traumatic. Imagine, a seven year old will witness that kind of scene. That will give fear to that child," Unah said.
"Let's just forgot about it," I said. "Do you have any more questions, Kate? We can help you as long as we know the answer," I told her.
"Well, let me see," she posed like she is thinking deeply about something. "Hmm, I can't think of any questions. What about telling me why other Ministers after Minister Kang didn't change the law about LGBT members?" she asked.
My brain twitched because of her question. I don't really know how to answer that, but maybe Dhaile and Unah have something to say regarding that thing.
"Woah. That was a hard one, but let me think," Unah said. "I think those Ministers after Minister Kang really agreed to that law," she added.
"Perhaps they also opposed the LGBT community like Minister Kang," Dhaile answered.
"Or maybe, they just want to satisfy their lust for bloodshed," I answered.
I know that my answer sounds so absurd, but even myself can't understand why I said that kind of thing. It just came out from my mouth without even thinking.
"What makes you think about that, Casy? Unah asked.
"I remember, 8 years ago if I'm not mistaken, the congress found out that the former Minister has a psychopathic condition. The former Minister used the punishment for LGBT members for him to satisfy his hunger for seeing blood and dead bodies," I explained to them.
Unah and Dhaile nodded. I can see from my peripheral vision that Kate is staring at me. That stare makes me feel so uncomfortable. I choose not to give focus about it.
"I can still remember what Casy is saying. Well, you have a point," Dhaile said.
Silence filled the room. No one is talking. I don't know why. Maybe we are just waiting for Kate to react or to ask another question.
Finally, Unah ended the disturbing silence.
"Yes?" Kate's voice cracked.
"Are you okay?" Unah asked
"Oh, yes. I'm fine," Kate answered even though I can feel that she is not okay just by examining her voice.
"Are you sure?" I asked her. "You seem a bit flustered," I added.
"That's nothing. I just remembered something," she answered.
"Okay, if you say so. By the way, do you have anymore questions?"
"None. The information you told are already more than enough. Thank you," she said while giving us a bow.
"You're welcome. If you have any questions or if there's something bothering you regarding that matter, just ask us. We'll answer it for you," Dhaile said with a smile.
"By the way, do you want to watch some movies? I have lots of compact discs inside my room," Unah asked us.
"We'll love to!"
"That's a great movie! Thanks Unah!" Dhaile exclaimed before we leave Unah's house.
"Maybe next time we can hang out again," Unah said. "All of you are welcome in my house."
"Thank you, Unah. We gotta go," I said.
"Bye Unah!" Kate waved goodbye with us. Unah waved back.
We decidee to walk back home since it is still early. It is two in the afternoon and the sun isn't giving off much heat that makes it easy for us to walk despite of long distance.
"Ey, Casy," Dhaile called me.
"I'm going to this way," Dhaile said while pointing the left turn.
"Huh? Why? Aren't you going home already?" I asked him.
"I'm going somewhere," she said and waved to me. She continues on walking to that part.
"What somewhere, Dhaile?" I asked her with crossed arms.
"Don't worry about me. Bye!" she finally lost to my sight.
"Bye! Take care!"
When Dhaile was already out of my sight, Kate and I continue on walking. There's a deafening silence between us. What you can hear is only the sound of other people walking and the sound of vehicles plying in the street.
I don't know how to start conversation with her for we are really not that close. But there's a feeling inside of me that urging me to talk to her.
I take a glance at Kate. She is serious and her sight is focus on the streets. Maybe it's not a good time to talk to her. It looks like she's thinking about something important.
I feel like electricity goes inside my body when Kate calls my name while she holds my hands. I don't know how will I react. I was stunned for moments and still I can feel that electricity.
"Are you okay, Casy?" she asked me. "You're not moving," she said and started to shake my shoulders.
Instead of moving, I became more stunned while she's holding me. I'm just looking at her eyes, straight, without blinking. I know that she is saying something but I can't hear it. I'm too focused on what she's saying.
I don't know what happened but suddenly, her hand hits my face.
"Ouch!" I exclaimed. "That hurts!"
"Why did you slap me?" I asked Kate.
"You're not moving! I'm calling you and your attention for several times but your just looking at me! I thought you're already dead!" she shouted.
"Oh," that's what I reacted.
Maybe I'm too stunned earlier. What's happening to me? I just froze while looking at Kate's eyes! What's wrong?
"That's nothing. Let's go," I said and pulled her to start walking.
After I encode all of my students' scores, I turned off my laptop and lay down on bed. This is a tiring day even if I am just sitting all day and typing anything in my keyboard.
I looked at the clock and found out that it is still 7:30 in the evening. Wow. I finished my job so fast.
"Maybe I should have some relaxation," I opened my phone and click games.
Maybe for others, playing phone games adds more stress, but it's different for me. It gives peace to my mind since the games I'm playing are mind games.
I scroll to choose what mind games I'm going to play. My finger stops and clicks the chess games. Since I'm alone, I choose the vs. computer game.
The game started and I didn't care about anything that surrounds me. Everytime I'm playing mind games, I'm too focused on it.
"What the," I exclaimed when someone calls me while I'm playing.
I look at screen and saw an unknown number.
"Hello? Who's this?" I said angrily.
"You seem angry. Did I disturb you?"
That's a familiar voice. I don't know why but my head feels so light when I heard that familiar voice.
"Kate? Is that you?" I asked.
"Yep," she answered. My heart race without any reason. I'm not nervous but it's palpitating. I remember what happened earlier. The unusual feeling.
When she touched me...
When she held my hand...
Now, her voice...
What's happening to me?
"Hey, Kate. What's up?" I asked her when I finally get over my emotion. The feeling earlier stopped, maybe because I forced myself to do it so."Nothing special," she answered. "By the way, are you okay now?""Huh? Of course, I am. Why wouldn't I?" I asked her.It's too late before I realized that I sound so defensive. I almost shout when I answered her."Okay. I'll just agree with what you said even if I'm not convince," she said before letting out a sigh."Why did you call me, by the way?" I asked Kate to change the topic of our conversation.It's a bit unusual that Kate is calling me in the middle
I always think why I was born in this country. Sometimes, I wish I live somewhere peaceful, somewhere that law is fair, unlike here in Felghana.I know that people should be nationalistic, and that they should love their own country, but how can you love your own country if it doesn't love you?"Argh, stressful," I said out of nowhere while lying down in my bed. I just woke up but I feel so exhausted like I already did tons of work.While lying in my bed, what happened yesterday comes back in my mind. I remember how Kate holds my hand, and how soft her voice even if it is over the line. I remember how her eyes look at me with so much... affection?I shook my head. That's not a right thing to think. Maybe I was just over-acting yester
After the day when Mrs. Cambri was killed, I'm so furious. I'm furious by the fact that I don't possess the ability to save her and his son from death. I feel so hopeless and weak. "AAAARRRGGHH!" I shouted while kicking my bed and throwing everything I can hold. I don't even know the things I'm throwing away; all the I know is that I need to release the anger I'm feeling right now. "D*mn it! D*mn it!" I shouted repeatedly. I almost bang my head to the walls because of frustration. I feel my hands getting numb but I can't stop. I can't control myself and it feels like I need to create more things that can hurt me. The sound of crashing glasses and falling books filled the entire room. My sight looks blurry, maybe because of the tears my eyes kept releasing for minutes. My feet...hurts? Or numb? I don't know. I can't even explain what I feel right now. I know that I have
I'm the type of person who doesn't want to be in a circle of several people, but I guess 1-3 people are fine.For years, Dhaile is the one person and friend of mine whom I hang out with. Our hangouts are like, making lesson plans together, creating questions for recitations, and other things connected to school. Sometimes, we stayed in my apartment to watch movies together, but that is very seldom.But today is different. I'm not just with Dhaile, but also with Kate and Unah. Though this is not the first time we went out together, it still feels new. I think I haven't adjusted fully yet, but I'm sure that sooner or later, I'll be."Let's forget our problems for awhile," Dhaile exclaimed while she excitedly jumps on Unah's car. It looks like she really prepared for this moment. We're just going to mall to have a little fun, yet she's dressed to kill."Yeah, we must enjoy the following days