Dashed hope.

I took another glance at the white dress my brother got me as a birthday gift and my eyes got filled with tears.

Sniffing, I wiped my face with the already soaked Kleenex. I haven't been able to stop myself from crying since the incident.

I pressed an ice cube into my neck, cooling the burning sting from the hot pasta.

After his outburst, Nathan had wordlessly walked past me and driven out of the house. It was almost midnight, and he was yet to be back.

I jumped, clutching my chest as the shrill sound of my phone ringing cut through the silence.

Ugh! It's high time I convert my ringing tone to a vibrating sound. I've been fidgety of late for no reason.

I retrieved the phone, the corners of my lips tugging at the caller ID displayed on my screen.

"Hello, brother," I greeted softly.

"Ari, how are you?" My brother's deep baritone voice came from the other side of the phone.

"I...I'm fine, I saw your text this morning," I replied, trying to sound as cheerful I could.

"Ariella? Is something wrong?" I could hear the tone of concern in his voice.

"I am fine really," I faked a chuckle.

"Ariella?"

I sighed. My brother being well, my brother must have picked on the sound of hesitation in my voice.

Immediately, he switched to video call, but I declined.

"Erm, Nathan and I are out at a celebratory dinner and I uhm, had to step away to pick up your call," I lied.

"Step away to pick up your brother's call? What's going on?"

"Brother Xavier!" I winced at the fake cheerfulness in my voice, "...everything's okay. You and Nathan never agree on anything and I don't want you both arguing on my anniversary," I offered in explanation. "I really have to go now."

I held my breath at the silence at his end.

"Ari, if something is amiss, do not hesitate to share with me. I will book the next available flight down to London right away if I have to."

"I know brother," I swallowed at the lie I was about to spill again. "I am fine, Nathan is too. I promise to call if I need anything."

"Sounds fair. Happy anniversary again, sister. Love you."

"Love you too."

As soon as he hung up, I threw aside my phone and launched into another bout of tears.

I really hated lying to my brother, it makes it harder that he seemed to read through my lies.

My brother is the only living relative I have besides my aged uncle.

Since our parents died, he's been my rock, support and biggest cheerleader. The only time he strongly disagreed with me was when I was about to get married to Nathan. He only gave his go ahead when he saw how much I was in love with Nathan.

I sniffed, taking out another wad of tissues. I had no choice but to keep up with the lies because there was no way I could bear to hear the disappointment in his voice when he learned about my failed marriage.

If only I could just conceive and have my baby, then my marriage would be fine again.

I know that deep inside Nathan still loves me, I just have to find a way to bring back the spark.

I went around the house, turning off lights and shutting all the doors, only leaving the main door open. Then I retired to bed.

I woke up to the sound of a running shower. I yawned, wondering how I didn't know when Nathan returned.

Stretching, I got out of bed, leaving the room for the kitchen.

I was preparing breakfast when Nathan's system caught my eye. It was sitting precariously close to the edge of the cabinets.

Nathan has this habit of putting his gadgets in unimaginable places in the house. Later, he'd spend hours searching for them.

I shook my head, went over to remove it from the kitchen.

A familiar image popped on his screen and I frowned, peering closer.

It was a vacancy flier I had come across once online. I had counted it as a scam and waved it off, but now seeing it again i took a second look at it.

"A software engineer needed to embark on the world's biggest global project, Xzan company limited," I read aloud. 

Xzan company was one of the biggest software development organizations in London.

The owner — a multi-billionaire, is a Chinese man who barely has any social media presence. It wasn't news that the big companies were always looking for a collaboration with them, Nathan included.

I quickly copied the link attached and forwarded it with the flier to myself. When I was done, I deleted every trace of what I'd done from Nathan's computer.

I was making scrambled eggs when Nathan scrolled into the kitchen, shirtless. Looking every bit like a demi god.

"Good morning," Nathan murmured, standing cross-legged by the doorway.

Surprised that he was talking to me, I glanced at him, my eye dropped to his chest and I bit my cheek, looking away almost immediately. I can't remember the last time we made love because we wanted it.

Instead, we track my ovulation and go at it like a chore, yet nothing to show for it.

"Good morning," I said softly, dishing his eggs on a plate.

"How do you want your coffee?" I asked.

I jumped back when hands were wrapped around my waist.

"Easy," Nathan murmured, his breath hot on my neck.

"I thought I'd be able to make up for the anniversary today, but I have a tight schedule," he said.

Silence.

I was surprised. Nathan never touched me unless it was my fertile window. "I.. I...we haven't tested for the result of the IVF," I said in a small voice.

"Come on, Ariella," his hands tightened around me. "I'm only apologizing. I didn't mean for last night to happen. I've been so busy."

I relaxed, melting into his hands. "It's fine," I whispered.

"Can you go through my inventory later? I think there are some missing figures, but I need to be sure," he said.

Just like that, my mood soured. I should have known.

He never talks to me unless he needs something.

It was routine, he'd reach out each time he had issues with his accounting department at his workplace, and I'd sort it out.

"Sure," I said flatly. "I'll do so."

Nathan dropped a kiss on my neck. "I've already sent the files to you. Make my coffee without cream, please," he said, leaving the kitchen.

"Oh and yeah," he turned back. "I'll have someone over later. Make dinner for three.

"Sure, uh.. Nathan?"

He dipped his head into the kitchen. "What?"

"I think we should get a housekeeper. Could be a maid or a chef," I said quietly.

"What? Why? You vehemently refused to get anyone to work in the house when we newly got married."

I nodded, pouring his coffee from the coffee pot into his mug. "True, I was against it then because I wanted it to be just two of us until..." I trailed off.

  "Till the children arrive?" he replied.

I nodded, added a cube of sugar into the mug, I stirred gently and handed him his coffee.

"What changed?" Nathan asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"I.. I..just think the house is so big. Remember the doctor said I need enough rest throughout the IVF journey?" I started, voice unwavering. "Besides, it's stressful enough cleaning both floors, doing the laundry and cooking meals. Heck, I have to cook large meals now and then because you always have visitors around," I said in a rush.

"You aren't pregnant, and you're quoting all these?" Nathan said, ripping my heart to shreds.

"What chores do you do apart from cleaning and cooking? You currently have no job..."

"Don't be harsh. You know my former workplace went bankrupt..."

"Then stay and manage the home till you get another. After all, I pay you for being a homemaker.."

"You pay me, but it's into our joint account?" I snapped.

Silence.

" I have no interest in a stranger invading my house," Nathan pronounced. "So no, I do not agree with your demand."

"Nathan, listen....."

"You fucking shut it and don't talk when I'm talking," he yelled, dropping the cup with a clang.

"Ouch," I yelped as coffee spilled all over the kitchen flo

or, the imported porcelain mug scattering into tiny pieces of ceramics.

I let out an exasperated sigh when the kitchen door shut with a bang.