14– Kayden

“The number you have dialed is not available at the moment. Please try again later.”

The robotic voice of the automated operator cut through the dead silence of the room.

It was the sixteenth time I had heard it today.

With a low growl of frustration, I threw my phone onto the cushion beside me. I dug my fingers through my hair, gripping the roots until my scalp throbbed, and looked around my living room.

The space was unrecognizable.

It looked like a museum dedicated to a nonexistent fairy tale.

I had spent hours coordinating it. 

Vases of fresh roses lined the entryway, their sweet scent thick enough to choke on. The dim glow of a dozen candles flickered against the walls, casting long shadows over a beautifully set table for two in the center of the room. 

I had ordered her favorite wine. 

I had cooked us a meal.

It was supposed to be Way Number Three. 

A perfect, intimate apology to fix the issue from this morning. But it felt like a beautifully orchestrated graveyard.

Gabrielle hadn't come home. 

She didn’t reply to a single text.

And I didn’t know where she went.

Anxiety began to crawl up my throat, tightening like a vice. 

I stood up, my knees shaking slightly, and began to pace the length of the living room. Back and forth. Over and over. 

Why couldn't nothing just go the way I envisioned? 

I was a professional athlete. I was trained to look at a play, calculate the variables, execute the strategy, and win. But with Gabrielle, every single time I tried to move forward, the ice shattered beneath my feet.

Thirty days. We were only on day two, and I was already losing her. 

I stopped pacing by the edge of the kitchen island, my chest heaving frantically as chaotic thoughts flooded my brain. 

She hates you. 

She thinks you're unworthy. 

You have no love to give.

You’re unworthy of love.

She's never going to look at you.

My mind was buzzing and buzzing and fucking buzzing.

The weight pressed down on me, the emotional agony inside my chest tearing me apart as I wrung my hands in desperation. 

I couldn't breathe. 

The walls of the mansion felt like they were closing in on me, trapping me inside a cage of my own making.

I was hollowed out and exhausted. My legs gave out beneath me. I didn't care to catch myself. I just let my body sink straight down onto the cold floor, my back sliding against the base of the sofa.

I curled my knees tightly against my chest in the dark, staring blankly at the flickering candle flames as they slowly burned down to nothing. 

I was so tired. Tired of fighting, tired of pretending, tired of failing. 

My eyes grew heavier by the second. 

The buzzing in my mind grew fainter.

And I felt my body slacken against the floor.

“Hey…”

A soft, hesitant voice cut through the heavy fog of my sleep. I felt a gentle hand shaking my shoulder. My eyelashes fluttered open, blinking against the sharp morning light filtering through the windows.

Gabrielle was kneeling beside me on the floor. Her brows were drawn together in concern as she stared down at my disheveled state.

“What’s wrong?” she asked l, her eyes drifting away from my face to look around the flower-infested room, taking in the suffocating sea of crimson roses and melted wax. “What is all this, Kayden?”

I rubbed my eyes aggressively with the heels of my palms, trying to wish the remnants of sleep away. 

My voice came out thick and rough. “Y-you’re home?”

She looked even more confused by my breathless tone. “Of course I am. And you’re sleeping on the floor like a lunatic. Do you want to fall sick? Your next game is just a few days away.”

Looking at her, my sleep-addled brain completely misfired. I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t care about the rules anymore. I was just so intensely, overwhelmingly excited to see her first thing in the morning that I threw my body into hers. 

I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist, my weight sending us both crashing back down onto the floor.

Gabrielle groaned as she hit the floor, her hands l tapping against my back. “Kayden, get off. You’re smothering me.”

“Just let me stay like this for a moment,” I breathed out, burying my face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her comforting scent. My chest was heaving. “I missed you so much. I waited up for you all night, Gabrielle.”

“Is that why you were sleeping on the floor?” she asked, her voice dropping into a softer register against my ear.

“I didn’t even realize when I dozed off,” I confessed into her skin, my grip tightening around her as if she might evaporate if I let go. “I’m just so happy you’re actually here. I… I… thought you had left me.”

“What?”

“I said I thought you left me,” I repeated, the truth slipping past my teeth before I could stop it.

An abrupt silence instantly blanketed the room. The second the words echoed in the air, a jolt of awareness hit me. I somehow knew I had just crossed a line. I had said something a fake boyfriend should never say. I had shown her how much power she had over me.

Panicking, I dragged myself off her body and knelt back on the floor, lowering my head as I felt her intense gaze tracking my every movement.

“Did you have a guest over last night?” she finally asked after a long moment of silence.

“What?” My head snapped up in shock.

But she wasn't looking at me. Her eyes were trained on the romantic table-for-two arrangement standing untouched in the center of the living room.

“It looks like a date,” she murmured, her voice sounding small, almost fragile.

I didn’t want to give myself false hope, but looking at the subtle tension in her jaw, it almost sounded like she was upset by the prospect of me having a date with another woman.

“I planned this for you, Gabrielle. For us,” I corrected her immediately, my heart hammering against my ribs. “I wanted to apologize… But you didn’t come home last night, and I just... I dozed off on the floor while I was waiting for you.”

“Is that so?” She glanced back over at me, her expression a storm of emotions.

“Yes.” I nodded.

“Mm…” Gabrielle cleared her throat, slowly pushing herself up from the floor and brushing off her jeans. “That’s too bad. But the room looks beautiful, Kayden. Truly.”

She was trying to put her walls back up. I could see it in the way she suddenly stiffened.

But I wasn't going to let her retreat.

I stood up, keeping my eyes locked to hers. “It’s okay. After all, I already have another date planned for us today.”