CHAPTER 1: PART 4

He left me standing there in the bathroom covering myself shying away from him. The moment he got out I dashed out hurryingly scared he might come back. I swiftly searched for clothes I could wear that could hide my whole scars. I wore the clothes so fast scared of what he might do if I were to be late, without applying lotion. I winced from time to time but I had to suck it up. I packed my books and left the room, as it was already seventeen minutes after.

‘Yes I was smart but still fragile’

"Maxine...let’s go!" Michael shouted in the sitting room demandingly.

‘It’s only been eighteen minutes. Does he even know time?’

"I'm here" I came running out of breath fearing the worst.

For some reason my body was starting to heal, I could feel my hurt lessening. I was glad I did not want my mother finding out nor Michael, I'm sure he would beat me just for that.

"You two are getting along very well, I should leave you both more often" my mother chimed fake smiling at Michael and not acknowledging me. It was a smile I have grown to dismiss. She herself wasn’t happy. I don’t know why she stayed with him this long, I guess she needed validation.

In my time during my father’s absence, I was left alone. Well not literary but I had no one to confide in and no one to groom me. No one to tell me what’s what. As I grew I learned a lot of things about people, especially my mother. She was stubborn to the point that she couldn’t tell if someone was hurting. She was so oblivious and thick headed she thought her way was the way. She said she didn’t have time, her worries for work were enough for her to be worried about me.

In this instance I learned that people especially the ones around us are the life we live. Whatever life one lives, someone has lived it somewhere, and if you look close enough you could tell their mistakes and achievements. As I grew I looked at my mother’s life, at that moment not just hers, her boyfriend, anyone actually whom I came in contact with. I analyzed their life like a puzzle. As I did I learned to shape my own life. By looking at them I finally dictated how I wanted my life to go. It wasn’t easy but I told myself only ignorant people don’t see what’s right in front of them. I got to see things people didn’t see, even their path to a downfall. And me staying where I wasn’t wanted was definitely going to be my downfall. As I looked at my mother I wondered what she was thinking about allowing Michael to stay. I mean he has beaten her more than her parents did I’m sure.

 ‘Do some people think before they do something or they just dive in and then cry later expecting we sympathize with them? It was pathetic really’ I wondered as I looked at my mother’s unhappiness hating every moment of it.

‘It was my torment too’

Yes I wasn’t perfect and I made my fair share of mistakes, I was still young and learning but I owned them, I stood up to them, I fixed them. I always dreamt of a better version of me, and every day I was fighting for that person to win.

‘I mean life is clear. Do not expect to be happy or succeed at someone’s expense. I mean people do them, what pleases them. Just as Michael is. So if she chooses to torture herself,  well she is bound to be unhappy, and she shouldn’t blame anyone for her choices; and definitely do not expect others to put themselves in her shoes or put her first, because I mean she chose this guy. He was clearly the biggest mistake she had ever made, and she thinks I’m the biggest mistake. Such mediocre wisdom she’s got. Mother is just too stubborn to realize what is important. Her, and me. I mean I am dying here! This man of yours is doing unspeakable things to me’ I thought about to cry. I wanted to yell at her, scream at her stubborn mind, but I thought it was no use.

I turned and looked at them both. I wanted to cry, get out of their grip but I was still young.

‘Even if I run, where will I go, where will I sleep, what will I eat?’ I internally cried.

‘He might kill me if I do, worse kill us both’ I looked at Michael.

I mean my mother thinks its punishment for falling in love with my father that she got Michael.

‘Woman you let this nigga stay, nobody forced you. We are suffering because of a choice you made’ I have never boiled up this much. I wanted to run and never look back. Haul out to the moon and die if I had to live another day with them.

“Let’s go” Michael muttered making me hiss at the pain in my hand he was causing. I wanted to scream at her, cry out for help or better yet hit her to get her senses back, but the look I got from Michael when he saw my hesitation for leaving told me otherwise.

"She is obedient now" Michael stated as my mother went up to kiss Michael who was holding my hand a little too hard ready to drag me out of the house.

'You both deserve each other' hate was starting to embrace me, I felt nothing but disgust and resentment. I wanted nothing but my father back.

We went out together with him still holding my hand roughly but when we got outside he retrieved his hand from me like I was a plague, he wiped it on my hoody and left to get into his car.

I wanted to cry, I felt too much at that time but held my composure; got into the car with him and sat like a lost puppy looking out in the window. I had my hoody fastened tight on me and the hat around my head hiding the lump on it. My face was ok; you could not tell that I had a blue eye and luckily I wasn’t that much beaten

'Or was I? I don't know'.

Michael drove in silence, when we reached my school he locked the doors and turned his gaze deadly to me.

'Please, please, not right now!' I prayed begging as I thinking of the worst but to my surprise he just shrugged his shoulders and got really close to my face in a threatening manner.

"If you tell anyone what happened I will leave your mother and kill you, no one will ever find or look for your body. Your mother will be so miserable she will hate you even in your dead state" he warned harshly brushing the strands of my hair deceitfully.

I cringed a bit as I nodded and got out of the car a bit hasty the moment he freed me, ready to at least enjoy the day especially with my favorite teacher Miss Johnson.

"Miss Johnson is gone!" I heard one of my classmates whistle walking passing them.

The moment those words hit me I felt like crying so badly and call out to my father to save me, but he wasn’t there and I hated that I hated him, I hated that he wasn’t around to save me from Michael. It was like he totally forgot about us about me.

I composed myself. I did not want my friends asking and spreading stories about Michael that could kill me, and him leaving my mother lonely.

'Who is going to be my friend now, who will I talk to' tears threatened to escapde my eyes.

I rushed and whipped them away before people started asking why I was crying. I turned around and saw Michael's car still on the driveway, I felt a pang of detest and terror as I saw him raising his hand waving goodbye like a loving father. I waved back scared of what he might do back at home or to me now if I didn't. I turned around looking at the school ready to be away from him. I shook my head removing all bad thoughts and mastered a smile as my friends approached me with smiles and giggles. I quivered as I thought about the life ahead of me, the life with Michael and mother and without Miss Johnson and my father. The only people who at least cared. She was gone, I hated it, and I hated her too for leaving me like my father did, she did not even say. At this time I decided to try and forget, act like I enjoyed spending time with my friends.

After months of silence, Michael invaded me again, taking advantage of the fact that he was in charge of me now. He would harass me four or five times a year.

Until one good day after four long years of suffering from Michael, new athletics were introduced at my school. It was like God had heard my prayers. I had always wanted to fight Michael off but I was weak and inexperienced. The school introduced karate, and I jumped at the opportunity. I was fifteen but ready to take on the world hence forth today after a long year I am a black belt. Of course my mother and Michael didn't know about my sport. I mean they were so self-engrossed they didn't care if I came back home or not. I would sometimes sleep at my friends place after practice just to run away from Michael and not to deal with my mother.