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Chapter 27 - Unsure Feelings
Cailen wasn't sure how he felt.
If William and Asher were to ask him if he was okay, he wouldn't have answer. If someone were to ask him if he wanted to cry, he wouldn't know. If someone were to ask him if he wanted to scream or throw something, he'd have no clue.
He didn't feel angry. He didn't feel sad. He just didn't really feel.
He was expecting this letter to change his opinion, to change how he felt, to change something. But it didn't.
The only thing that changed was that he knew his mother had been too young to take care of him, and yes, that explains some things. But he still had questions.
He still wanted to know more.
He didn't know why he wanted to know more. He shouldn't care what she looked like or if he looked like her. He shouldn't care what her voice sounded like or what color her eyes were.
These things shouldn't matter because she wasn't part of his life and she never would be. She didn't
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A Place To Call Home Chapter 28 - Keepsakes
"Do you want to talk about it?" Asherasked after his rambling died off, his voice turning into a whisper to match Cailen's."No.""Okay,"Asherdidn't push any further.He just held Cailenclose and left him to his thoughts but Cailenwasn't so sure that was a good thing. He could feel himself slipping, slipping into a hole he wasn't sure he'd be able to drag himself out of.And the only thing he had to hold onto was Asher.Asherand his caring eyes and warm smile, his strong arms and gentle touch and it should be enough.It should be enough to keep him from slipping into the empty pit that he felt like,because Ashermade him feel good.But it wasn't. It wasn't enough because Asherwasn't his to hold onto and he never would be.It was really frustrating because he needed Asher. He needed his stupid jokes and caring nature. He needed his friendship. He needed it now mo
A Place To Call Home Chapter 29 - Truth Or Dare
Finding a distraction wasn't hard in this group of friends he had.Between the four of them,it was never hard to come up with something to do.But now they had Noahand his ideas were usually crazy and perfect for distracting Cailen.He wasn't sure if they knew hewanted the distractions but they all seemed to be trying extra hard to get Cailenout of the house and keeping him busy. Cailentried to remain in a good mood, trying to be that happy fun guy everyone was used to,but it wasn't always that easy.He was getting a lot of mood swings lately and he knew it had to do with everything going on and not the people he was surrounded by. It’s justthatsometimes,it was difficult to remember that.But for the most part,he thought he did pretty well. Of course he'd often get a concerned look from Matthewwhen he'd get too quiet or a questioning eyebrow from Williamwhen h
A Place To Call Home Chapter 30 - Confusion
"Cailen, I- I'm-" Asherstarted just as the door to the toilets flew open and two loud men stumbled through, talking to each other but loud enough for the whole pub to hear."Oh, man you should’vebeen there, dude,"one of them said to the other, slapping his friendon the shoulder. The other grinned back at him as they made their way to do their business. "The look on her face was priceless!"Ashersighed as he eyed the two men, his mouth pressing closed because there was no way he was going to confess now.With a glance over his shoulder, maybe it was a glare, Cailenlead Asherout into the hall. But instead of going to join the boys, he pulled Asherdown the hall where they met a dead end andthey were alone."Go on," Cailenencouraged.He wanted Asherto be able to trust him. Asherhad been there for him when he needed him and he wanted to be there for himtoo.
A Place To Call Home Chapter 31 - Mother And Son
He was really confused and it was keeping him from getting much sleep lately.Instead of sleeping,he would lay awake and just think over the same things, the same questions and never get any answers.He was sick of it. It made him short tempered and it was exhausting running over the same theories and questionsevery night.He wasn't sure he could do it anymore.Cailenthrew back the covers of his bed, the cool air creeping over his skin and making him shiver.He contemplated wrapping himself in the blanket and taking it with him but decided it would be more work than it was worth and a safety hazard when trying to descendthe stairs.He left the blanket and shuffled his way out of the room, trying to be as quiet as possible so he didn't wake anyone up.As he passed William's room,he could hear his quiet snoring-something Williamrefuses to believe he does every timeCailen
A Place To Call Home Chapter 32 - Forgetting
Cailendecided not to dwell on anything for too long.It never helped and it only made more people worry about him.So Cailenignored the way he'd rather just lay in bed than go hang out with the boys.He ignored the way it feel like a chore to smile most of the time. He ignored all the urges that had him wanting to escape, to just be alone with himself so he didn't have to pretend like he was okay, so he didn't have to act like another person.He loved his family and he loved his friends. That's why he was doing what he was doing.But he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to live in a world where he could be himself- his true self and not have to worry about losing the people he cared about.He wondered what it would be like to talk to Williamabout boys, or even Stellasince she'd probably be a little more interested.He wondered what it would be like to bring a guy home on Christmas to me
A Place To Call Home Chapter 33 - Under A Microscope
Cailen wantsome peace and quiet.Not that he didn't like hanging out with the boys but lately,he just felt off.He felt like he was being watched, his every move being analyzed, his every word trying to be deciphered like it had some hidden meaning even he wasn't aware of.He honestly just felt trapped, like there was nowhere he could go where there wasn't someone watching him or asking him questions.He wasn't sure if he was just paranoid or not but he felt like maybe,someone suspected something.What exactly that was, he wasn't so sure.It was just that Williamwas coming into his room at night a lot, asking him if there was anything he wanted to tell him or talk about.Cailenwould always say no, of course, and when that happened,Williamwould either assure him that he could tell him anything or he would open up about something that was apparently bothering him.Cailen&nbs
A Place To Call Home Chapter 34 - Without Telling
"No,"Cailenanswered, looking into his lap where his fingers began fiddling with each other."Okay,"Ashersaid simply, crawling over the bed to sit by him. "You don't have to talk, but can I?" He asked."Something bothering you?" Cailenasked, feeling a little guilty.Everyone's been so concerned with him, himself included, that he never bothered to check in on Asheronce in a while."No, not- Well, sort of... I guess,"Asheranswered, leaning back against the headboard of the bed.The thing with Asheris that Cailenconstantly haveto remind himself how to act around him. Right now,he wanted to hugAsher, maybe kiss him until the frown on his face disappeared and assure him that whatever it was, was going to be okay.But that's not what friend's do, not really."What is it?" Cailenencouraged, squelching the urge to reach out tohim."W
A Place To Call Home Chapter 35 - Secrets No One Can Know
He almost broke down and told them because the looks they were giving him were so hopeful and sincere and he knew they thought they meant it.He knew they thought they were telling the truth but they had no idea what they were promising to do.They had no idea what secret Cailenwas keeping. They had no idea what part of himself he was hiding from them and when they found out, he knew they wouldn't be able to fulfill their promises and he wouldn't blame them.He also could tell they suspected something.He wasn't that thick and neither were they. They've all been acting odd this summer, Cailenincluded, and maybe it was only because he was acting odd but it didn't matter.They knew there was something going with him; they probably just didn't realize how big it was and how much it could change their lives."Anything you want to tell us?" Matthewasked,and there it was.The same question they've been
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- A Place To Call Home Epilogue - A Place To Call Home
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 119 - Growing Up And The Grown Ups
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 118 - Their Daughters
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 117 - The Trio
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 116 - Their Son’s Parents
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 115 - Missing Birthday Boy
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 114 - Their House
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 113 - Leaving
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 112 - Family Night
