OUTSIDE THE GATES

VERA'S POV

The bells rang heavily, sending echoes through the vast halls.

It was my last meal, or should I say last supper, before the taste of freedom.

I looked at the bowl of soup in front of me. My stomach twisted as nausea crept up my throat.

"What really is this?" My brows furrowed as I stared intently into the soup that looked like brown river and vegetables.

My eyes hovered around the large hall and it dawned on me.

"19 years of my life here and still no friends."

I lowered my head, forcing a spoonful of soup into my mouth. Tears rolled down the side of my eyes as I quickly wiped them off.

Seeing all my close buddies being adopted into good homes while I remained here, year after year, left me with a feeling of being cursed.

Emelda was the only friend I had, but she was adopted too. Although she came to see me a couple of times, the last time she came, she informed me that she had gotten admission into college. We cried together and she reassured me that I would find a good family too.

She gave me edible food and so many treats. I went on days without having to eat any of this disaster here.

But that was the last day I saw Emelda. Two years ago. My 20th birthday would make it three.

I never saw her again, but I still waited in front of the gate every Visiting day on my birthday hoping she'll come. "Maybe one day, but today is the day I leave."

I looked at the wrinkled paper in my hand. It contained Emelda's house address from her last visit.

"I just hope…" I felt a whirlpool building up in my heart.

I docked my head deeper into the bowl, trying to gulp down everything at once because I couldn't predict when I'll have my next meal.

In the orphanage, one is sure of two square meals even if they were horrible. But in the outside world, would I be sure of one in 24 hrs?

I heaved a sigh as I felt a lump stuck in my throat. Forcibly trying to swallow the urge to cry, my chest rose frantically.

"Oh my God, Vera!" The head cook ran towards me, pulling me away from the wooden bench, she rapidly slapped my back.

Gasping rapidly, I gorged out something that looked like the head of a child's toothbrush.

"Are you okay?" She asked, but seeing the sight of puked soup and toothbrush made my stomach twist violently. I threw up some more, uncontrollably.

My eyes burned from the pain. The thought of where that brush must have come from made something crawl up my throat.

Raising up my eyes to her face, my frail voice whispered, "Thank you."

Madam Rose had been the only one who cared for me. If she didn't have so many kids, "Maybe…" The thought crossed my head but was interrupted.

"Vera! You're called to the director's office."

I nodded gently because I knew what it was. Rising to my feet, I paced three steps backwards.

"Are you okay?" Madam Rose asked, holding me just in time.

Her thick palms rested on my slender body. My thin wrist and pale skin looked very different from hers.

"Yes I am," I tried to force a smile. "I have to go now," I said, pulling away.

Old wooden floorboards creaked underneath my feet. Some part of me wished for death but a greater part of me wanted to see the outside world.

Before my hands landed on the slightly unlocked door, a voice echoed through.

"Come in…"

A gulp of saliva passed through my throat.

"Criin…" The door squeaked as I opened it wider to pass through.

"Good day sir!" I blurted out.

"Yes Dear, have a seat," He responded.

"Vera?" He called my name to affirm.

"Yes sir."

"I'm pretty sure you're aware why you were called here. But before we proceed, I want you to sign these documents."

"Uhmm, I don't have a signature," I said staring intently at him.

"Just draw a few strokes," he said without glancing at me.

My fingers fell on the pen as it drew on the paper without even reading.

"Do you have anyone or place in the city you'll like to go?"

"Yes," unfolding the wrinkled paper from my dress, I placed it on the table.

He picked it up and stared at me.

"When was this given to you?" His brow slightly raised.

"When I was 17."

"So three years ago?"

"Yes!" I blurted out sharply, my fingers twisting at the hem of my dress.

"And you're sure this person hasn't moved?"

"Yes, she promised to wait for me," My gloomy eyes finally lit with hope.

"Alright then. Pack your bags, the home bus would take you there. You leave in 30mins."

"Thank you," I muttered before leaving the office.

Coming down the wooden stairs, I took one last glance at the big hall. Inhaling sharply, my fingers clenched tightly around the tiny sack in my palms.

It was a raggedy old sack, but it held all of me.

I walked empty and heavy through the passage. The fear of what lies ahead overweighed my heart.

Seeing Madam Rose at the gate warmed my heart. I never told her I was leaving but she knew I was leaving, didn't she.

"Here child," She handed me a small flax containing ginger biscuits and egg sandwich. She gave me a bottle of water. Then patted my back before pulling me into her warmth.

"Be careful out there Vera, it's a big world. There are bad people but that doesn't mean you won't meet good ones too. If you ever need anything, you can come to me."

I nodded slightly, giving her a warm smile.

"Thank you."

"Come on, we're running out of time," The bus driver yelled.

Quickly hurrying into the bus, I sat by the window. It smelled like old wood and damped foam.

The engine started and it felt like the wheels were gonna come off soon.

I braced myself, shrinking my malnourished figure to the end, drifting away to sleep as my gaze followed through every tree along the way.