The silence in this apartment is deafening. It’s a thick, heavy blanket that smothers every other sound, including the insistent buzzing of my phone. I know who it is. Probably the maids they’ve been trying all day. I haven’t eaten since last night. My stomach growls, a hollow, echoing complaint, but I ignore it. Food feels… unnecessary. Everything feels unnecessary.I stare at the peeling paint on the opposite wall, tracing the faded pattern with my eyes. This apartment… it’s a relic. A ghost of a life I used to live. A life I thought I’d escaped. And yet, here I am, back in its dusty embrace, feeling just as lost and empty as I did before.A memory flickers. Warm, like a hearth fire in the dead of winter. Professor El-Masri. Her kind eyes, the gentle curve of her smile. She’d seen me, really seen me, back when I was nothing but a shadow drifting through the university halls. Homeless, hungry, and utterly alone. Everyone else just saw the surface – the quiet girl who always sat in
The heavy oak doors of the mansion swung shut behind me, the click echoing in the vast, marble-floored hallway. My visit with Professor El-Masri had refreshed me, my mind finally found peace after our discussion. A chorus of greetings met me as I stepped inside. "Welcome home, Madam Dema," the maids chimed, their smiles warm and genuine. A trolley laden with fragrant dishes was wheeled forward. "We've prepared your favorite, Madam. Please, have something to eat."I offered a polite smile. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry. I need to get back to work." The aroma of the food was tempting, but the urgency of my projects overshadowed any appetite. "Perhaps later," I added, hoping to soften my refusal.I've wasted so much time sulking, it was time to get back to work.I headed straight for the library, the familiar scent of old books a comforting presence. The room was a sanctuary, a world away from the bustle of the city. I settled into my chair at the large mahogany desk, the smooth
The suitcase lay open on the bed. I meticulously folded a floral sundress, picturing myself twirling in it on a white sand beach. Maldives, I thought, the word itself a whisper of paradise. Rami had outdone himself. A honeymoon in the Maldives! I still couldn't quite believe it.He called from downstairs, "Dema, habibti, I'm leaving now, be ready in 15!""Okay!" I called back, my heart fluttering with anticipation. I zipped up the suitcase, a little too excited, and grabbed my passport. As I headed downstairs, I noticed Rami wasn't in the car."Just popping into the jewelry store,I won't be late," he said when I called him, He was back quickly, though, slipping a small, velvet box into my hand."What's this?" I asked, my fingers trembling as I opened it. Inside, nestled on a bed of satin, was the most exquisite ring I had ever seen. It was a delicate band of platinum, and the diamond… the diamond was breathtaking. It seemed to catch the light from every angle, sparkling with an inner
Rami and I decided to treat ourselves to a full spa day. It was just what we both needed. I settled in for a manicure, choosing a soft pink that I thought would complement my skin tone. "Habibi, what do you think of this color?" I asked him.He answered that it suited me so well, then he disappeared into a quiet room for a massage. I could practically feel the tension melting away from him just thinking about it.After my nails were perfect, it was my turn for some pampering. I opted for a facial and a relaxing massage. While I was being slathered in creams and having my muscles kneaded, Rami mentioned he was going to soak in a hot bath. He said he'd be waiting when I was done.A couple of hours later, we emerged from the spa feeling completely rejuvenated. My skin felt baby-soft, my nails looked great, and my body was relaxed and loose. Rami looked equally refreshed, his face relaxed and his shoulders no longer hunched. It was the perfect way to spend the day together. "So, where sha
The drive back from the airport felt longer than the flight itself. My mind was still replaying moments from our honeymoon – the blue sky mirroring the sea, the vibrant sunsets, Rami's laughter and how we danced on the beach . It all felt like a dream now, a beautiful, sweet dream. As our car pulled up to the gates of our mansion, a wave of warmth washed over me. Home. Finally, we were home.Rami squeezed my hand, a wide grin on his face. "We're home Habibti"I smiled, though a tiny sliver of sadness lingered. Honeymoons do have to end, I supposed. ,"Home sweet home." I replied.The front doors swung open and a line of maids stood waiting. Usually, their smiles were as bright as the morning sun, but today, something was off. Their faces were grim, their eyes shadowed. A knot of unease tightened in my stomach."Welcome back, Mr. and Mrs. Al-Masri," they chorused, but the words sounded hollow.Rami, oblivious, clapped his hands together. "It's good to be back! Everything alrig
The mall buzzed with the usual pre-holiday chaos. I was on a mission – find the perfect gift for my mother-in-law. She was a woman of discerning taste, and I wanted to make a good impression. As I browsed the jewelry store, a familiar voice cut through the noise."Well, well, look who it is," the voice sneered. My stomach dropped. It was Razan. Razan from college. A wave of unpleasant memories washed over me. Razan and I…we had history. And it wasn’t good.Back then, I was focused on my studies. I wanted to excel and I did. I was the top student back then while Razan, well, she wasn’t good at any subject and I heard she failed many tests. And for that reason, she made herself my enemy. She’d been relentlessly cruel, spreading rumors about me. She’d told everyone I was a broke orphan, I couldn't understand why she made up her mind to ruin my life. The worst was when she accused me of cheating on a test. That almost got me in serious trouble. If it hadn't been for Prof
When I woke up this morning I found myself on my bed, but something was wrong. I was in my bed, alone. Rami wasn't beside me. A little frown creased my forehead. He’s usually an early riser, but he always makes sure to kiss me goodbye, even if I’m still half-asleep.I pushed myself up, a slight stiffness in my back, and padded out of the bedroom. "Where's Rami?" I asked the first maid I saw, a young woman named Farah."Good morning, Madam Dema," she replied, with a polite smile."Mr. Rami came home very late last night. He left very early this morning, too. He said he didn't want to disturb you.""Oh," I murmured, a little knot of uneas tightening in my stomach. "Did he say anything else?"Farah shook her head. "No, Madam. He just said he had to leave quickly."I thanked her and went to the kitchen, the knot in my stomach growing. I poured myself a glass of water and then grabbed my phone. I scrolled through my contacts and tapped Rami’s name. He didn't answer and I tried 3 t
My shoulders slumped, the weight of my laptop bag feeling ten times heavier than usual. All I wanted was to crawl into bed and disappear. But the thought of facing the empty Bedroom, the silence amplifying my loneliness, made me hesitate. I’d tried to be subtle, of course. I casually walked past Rami’s office on my way out, hoping to catch him before he left. But his door was closed, and when I peeked in, his desk was bare. His new assistant, had said “He left about an hour ago. Big meeting with some partners. Said it was pretty important.” Important. Right. More important than a quick call? A text? Anything? My stomach twisted. It wasn’t like him. Or, at least, it wasn’t like him before. At least not since his confession to me. I’d replayed our last interaction a hundred times in my head. Had I said something wrong? Had I come across as too needy? Too clingy? I wracked my brain, searching for a clue, a hint, anything that could explain his silence. I unlocked my bedroom door, the
I’m the worst husband on earth. I’ve come to terms with that fact, no I actually accepted it. It’s not just some fleeting thought anymore, not some dramatic exaggeration to wallow in self-pity. It’s the truth, carved into my bones, etched into every regret that keeps me awake at night. I know it now, with a certainty that aches worse than any wound. And the worst part? I’m used to this feeling. It’s familiar, like an old coat I’ve worn so long I’ve forgotten the weight of it. Before Dema, I was careless. No—worse than careless. I was cruel in the most effortless way, the kind of cruelty that doesn’t even recognize itself. I moved through the world like a proud hawk I was untouchable, unbothered by anything. I did what I wanted, went where I pleased, let people drift into my orbit just long enough to make them believe in something that was never real. I’d smile, I’d charm them , I’d let them hope I would let them dream and then, when the novelty wore off or the guilt prickled too sha
My mom left today, and with her departure, the last barrier between Dema and me vanished. There was no more avoiding the elephant in the room—no more excuses, no more distractions. Dema had no choice but to talk to me now, and as much as I didn’t want to push her, I couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine. I needed answers. I needed to know what I had done wrong, or else the cracks in our relationship would only deepen until there was nothing left to salvage. When I finally gathered the courage to approach her, to ask her why she was so distant, why the anger in her eyes never seemed to fade, things spiraled out of control almost immediately. The moment I opened my mouth, it was like stepping on a landmine. She brought up that night—the night of the commercial event. The night I made a reckless, selfish mistake by staying out late with a woman who wasn’t my wife. My stomach twisted at the memory, at the way I had tried to justify it instead of just owning up to my poor judgme
The first few days after Dema gave birth, I told myself it was normal—the exhaustion, the mood swings, the distance. But the way she looked at me, or rather, didn’t look at me, made my chest tighten with something uneasy. I tried to approach her one evening as she sat by the window, the dim light casting shadows over her tired face. The baby was finally asleep, and I thought maybe now she’d let me in, even just a little. “Dema,” I said softly, resting a hand on her shoulder. “How are you feeling?” She didn’t turn. Just stiffened under my touch before shrugging me off. “I’m fine.” The words were ice. I swallowed, forcing a smile she couldn’t see. “You’ve been quiet. I just… I want to make sure you’re okay.” A pause. Then a sigh, heavy with something unspoken. “I said I’m fine.” I hesitated, my hand hovering in the air before dropping to my side. “If you need anything—” “I don’t.” The finality in her voice cut deeper than I expected. I stood there, useless, before finally
The day Dema’s water broke, I wasn’t there. Of course, I wasn’t. I had a packed schedule, meetings stacked back-to-back, and I was all the way on the other side of the city. When I got the call, my stomach dropped. I tried to wrap things up fast, but the discussion dragged on, every minute stretching like hours. By the time I finally got out, my hands were shaking as I fumbled with my keys. I jumped in the car, swearing under my breath as I mapped out every possible shortcut. But of course—just my luck—the traffic was a nightmare. Cars inched forward like they were moving through tar. I gripped the wheel, my foot tapping impatiently, heart pounding in my ears. "Come on, come on."When it became clear I wasn’t getting anywhere fast, I made a split-second decision. I pulled into the first rental parking lot I saw, threw the car into park, and bolted. I ran until my lungs burned, dodging pedestrians, my dress shoes slapping against the pavement. At the highway, I flagged down a taxi,I
I had planned to take Dema to the commercial event and even picked out a beautiful dress for her as a surprise. I imagined how happy she’d be when she sees it and how lovely she’d look that evening. But when I got home, I found her lying on her back on the couch, exhausted. “I’m too tired,” she said weakly. When I told her about the event, she shook her head. “I can’t go. I’m exhausted—I don’t feel good, and I don’t look good enough to attend.” I left Dema alone at home and went to the event by myself. The evening dragged on—my team handled everything perfectly, leaving me with little to do. That’s when I spotted her.Her name is Jasmine . She's One of our former managers. She’d quit years ago when she got pregnant, choosing to raise her son over climbing the corporate ladder. Now here she was, gliding through the crowd like she’d never left. She smiled when she saw me. “Rami, how are you? It's been a long time.”We fell into easy conversation, reminiscing about her old days at
Last night was one of the longest nights I’ve ever experienced. Dema had been throwing up on and off for hours, her discomfort keeping both of us awake well past midnight. Each time I heard her retching in the bathroom, my chest tightened with worry. I hovered near the door, offering water, a cold towel, anything to ease her nausea. At one point, I even suggested taking her to the emergency room, fearing she might be seriously ill, but she waved me off weakly. "It’s fine, really," she insisted, her voice hoarse from the strain."This is normal—just part of it." I didn’t understand how anything so exhausting could be normal but she assured me it was just her body adjusting. Still, I couldn’t shake the helplessness gnawing at me. Eventually, the vomiting subsided, but sleep remained out of reach for her. Restless and drained, she wandered out to the balcony, seeking the cool night air. I watched from the doorway as she settled into the wicker chair, her silhouette outlined by the p
When Dema told me she was pregnant, I didn’t know what came over me. My chest tightened, my thoughts raced, and for a moment, I couldn’t even form a response. We had talked about having kids many times before—long conversations that stretched late into the night, filled with hopes, fears, and unspoken tensions. Every time, I told her I wasn’t ready, that the timing wasn’t right, that we needed to wait. And every time, she would look at me with those deep, pleading eyes, her voice soft but unwavering as she explained why she wanted this so badly. She had been an orphan, raised in a system that never gave her the warmth of a real family. She told me how she used to watch other children with their parents, aching for something she never had—a home, stability, unconditional love. To her, having a child wasn’t just a desire; it was a need, a way to fill a void that had been hollowed out by years of loneliness. She feared that if we kept dismissing the idea, she might never get the chance
Love is such a strong word, if you ask me. It's a kind of driving force—something deep and complicated for some people, yet so simple and spontaneous for others. I used to believe that people who have more get more love: people who have more money than others, people who have more influence, more beauty. That's why I didn't believe in love, because I believed it was just another term used to justify capitalistic ideals, a cover for people’s lust and greed. And it's true—some people do use love to get what they want, or they just don't know the difference between love and ambition. My whole life, I thought that I deserved love because I had money, status, and looks. I had the whole package; I was at the top of the social pyramid. That's just how our world works—but again, this is ambition, not real love. Real love is loving someone even when they have nothing. Real love is loving someone for the way they treat you. You can truly love someone for a certain quality about them, and
Love is such a complicated matter. It is very mysterious to me, especially identifying love. Identifying your own emotions is the tricky part. Do you really love this person, or do you just like this person? Do you love them despite their flaws? Do you love them as a whole, or do you just love a specific quality about this person ? Would you still love this person if they lost everything? Would you still love them if they changed? These questions have been on my mind my whole life, and I’ve given up on finding answers. I thought I loved Bayan, yet I moved on with my life just fine after she disappeared. I thought I liked Rola, but when she broke our engagement and left, I didn’t feel anything—I didn’t even shed a single tear. But when I realized for the first time that I could lose Dema, it frightened my soul. For the first time, I felt like my entire world would crash. --- I’ve never felt anything like this before with anyone else. Yes, I admit I’ve been with many wo