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Chapter 52
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A year and half Chapter 53
Killian I snapped out of my thoughts the minute my father finished his speech and the crowd began to applaud. The funeral was held in St. Patrick's cathedral and although I preferred not to attend, Gwendolyn dragged me out of my hotel room and forced me here in the front seat where everyone cried like they ever gave a shit about him when he was alive.I was supposed to be crying too tho. I knew I was supposed to be crying. Everyone else was. But my eyes were dry and I didn't know why either because I loved that old man more than I ever admitted and when someone you love dies like this, you are supposed to be destroyed but right now, I was staring into the open casket in front of me, hoping that seeing him one last time would bring me some kind of closure. But I felt...nothing. "He's not coming back, is he?" Gwen whispered beside me. When I tried to speak, nothing came out. My throat was swollen shut. It'd been that way for the past four days. I shook my head. "He's not."I could te
A year and half Chapter 54
HopeI sat bolt upright, gasping for breath, covered in sweat, and momentarily disoriented as I looked around quickly. I was alone in my bedroom and it was still a little dark outside. What the hell had just happened? Slowly the outside world invaded my senses. I glanced over at the alarm clock on the bedside and found that it was five something in the morning. When my breathing settled, I pushed my hair out of my face, groaning as I realized I had one of those dreams, the kind reading too many Nikki Sloane novels could give you. My eyes fell to my phone on the nightstand. I picked it up, checking to see if there was any call or message but my log was empty, just as it had been for the past four days.Honestly, staying alone in this house was starting to get suffocating without Killian in it. I located his number and called him. We needed to sort things out, most especially now when my next appointment was approaching and we still hadn't discussed vital things concerning the bab
A year and half Chapter 55
The moment Killian collapsed in front of me, everything became a fog. My brain short-circuited and It wasn't until doctor Jones arrived that I regained bits and pieces of my senses. "He'll be fine." He assured me. "He had a blackout, it occurs sometimes when you take in too much alcohol. His sugar levels were also high but I've been able to stabilize it so once he's rested, he'll be back up on his feet."I sagged with relief, turning towards the bed to stare at Killian's still unconscious form. "Thank you very much. Thank you for coming here at such short notice."He smiled candidly at me. "It's my job. Just make sure he stays in bed and away from alcohol."I nodded and helped him pack up before seeing him out of the house. When I returned, Killian was still asleep, looking terribly pale with pain twisted on his beautiful face. I pulled one of the chairs in his room to the side of his bed and sat down. The level of heat radiating from the bed was quite alarming and my stomach knotted
A year and half Chapter 56
My heart pounded and adrenaline spiked through my body. "You want me to get naked?"He looked at me, no, he looked through me, like I had said nothing, like I meant nothing, and then he folded his arm, poised with so much arrogance and animosity as he replied. "If you're not going to do it, stop messing around and leave." For some reason, my throat felt too dry. I swallowed. "It's not that I don't want to, I just don't think this is the time for—""You said you loved me." He cut me. "How about proving it. Take off your clothes now and I won't be repeating myself." My heart was thundering in my chest and I wasn't sure what to do. Part of me wanted to run, part of me wanted to stay and reason with him, and another part just wanted to beat him until he realized he was being an insufferable jerk to me right now."I'll do it because I want you to see how sorry I am," I said, drawing in a huge breath before reaching for the hem of my jersey. "And how much I want to share your pain with yo
A year and half Chapter 57
I wished there was a way to turn off everything I felt. The pain, the sadness, the anger, the hurt, the exhaustion. I dragged in a deep breath, eyes filled with so many tears that they blurred my vision. So this was what it felt like to trust someone and then have them break that trust. When Isabella said 'giving your trust to someone meant handing them a dagger to stab you', I didn't understand what she meant, but now, sitting here in utter pain and disdain, I realized her words couldn't have been truer because It felt like a dagger had been jabbed straight into my chest. "Hope," Killian called out to me, his breathing quick and shallow. It was like a haze lifted from his eyes and he could vividly see the damage he'd done to me. "Baby..." He extended his hand to touch me."Don't..." I begged, clutching the sheets closer to my body. "Don't...Touch me, please." "Alright, I won't baby. I'm sorry baby. I got carried away." He implored, his eyes pleading with me as a myriad of emot
A year and half Chapter 58
Killian When Hope left me, time stilled. I didn't move. I stood there, staring at the front door with my heart beating at what seemed like a million miles an hour. She was going to come back to me. There was no way she could leave me. She said she wouldn't. She said she loved me, didn't she?Adamant, I stood there, my mind searching fruitlessly for reasons why she wouldn't possibly leave me. I convinced my heart that It didn't need to hurt yet because she was going to show up. But as time continued to pass almost audibly, I realized two things; I was wrong and Hope was gone.She was gone. And I let her go. I fucking let her go. There was a relentless beating of my blood around my body. My lungs burned and I wanted to scream. I let her go because she asked me to. Because she said if I cared about her, I would. I did. She was precious to me. I cared about her. No, I more than cared, it was more than just caring. My heart slammed against my ribs and I sucked in a breath. I loved her
A year and half Chapter 59
I always thought I was doomed by not being able to fall In love, but once I did fall, I wished I hadn't because the last two women I ever loved left me in a blur of rapid emotions; pain, regret, heartache, exhaustion, and most dominate of all, anger. It had been four weeks since Hope left me. Three since I camped in front of her house and begged for a chance to start over but got beaten up again by Scott.Two since I decided to follow Brad's advice and visit her workplace with flowers and chocolates and a lot of fucked up shit just to apologize but still got rejected and reminded I was one step away from a restraining order.And finally, one since I decided that..."Mr. Fobster?"I snapped back from my reverie and looked up from the white screen I'd stared so long at that my eyes burned.Cleo walked in, holding the photocopies I'd asked for-or rather- yelled for. Don't blame me. The anger that I'd been carrying around for these past weeks was physically draining and she just so see
A year and half Chapter 60
HopeI still didn't know how I'd managed to live through my 31-day post-Killian syndrome but for the past four weeks, everything hurt. Fast forward to two weeks back when I had decided to move out of my mum's house.I tried not to be bitter about how easily she had forgiven Killian and asked me to go back to him. I couldn't blame her for it. She'd always been conversational and believed a woman ought to remain with her husband at all times.I wondered if that ideology would've changed if I had explained to her how he'd slapped my bottom so hard and wicked that they were sore for weeks. God, I should hate him, but the truth was, I didn't. I couldn't, not with the way he occupied my thoughts. I couldn't even escape him in my dreams. Torturous memories flashed through my mind every night and it didn't help that I'd forgotten my vibrators back at his place. Nonetheless, I knew I still loved him more than he was capable of ever loving me back and a lopsided relationship would destroy m
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