Chapter 37

NICHOLAS

I was unsettled. Ever since May caught me kissing Lydia, I had been worried since then. I couldn't concentrate on anything and I blamed myself. I shouldn't have done that no matter the situation.

But I was more worried that May might get the wrong idea. I didn't come back to the room that night so I could give her space, it wasn't that I went back to Lydia.

Vivian entered my office, holding some documents. She had a smile on her face. I stared at her as she dropped the documents on my table.

"The stock prices are rising, boss. It appears your PR went well," Vivian told me calmly. She showed me her iPad and I could see that it was rising indeed. On a normal day, this would be enough to get me so excited. However, nothing of such was happening today.

"Okay, I understand," I simply replied. I could see the shocked expression on Vivian's face after I said this. It was her own turn to stare at me. One would think she was scanning my face.

"Boss!" I heard her call me.

"I am right here," I replied.

"Something is wrong, right? What is happening?" Vivian asked calmly. She went further, "I have never seen you so uninterested in such an important matter. Are you stressed? Can I help?"

"Vivian," I blurted out. "The only way you can help me right now is by leaving me alone. I need to gather my thoughts."

"Is this about May again?" Vivian's voice turned tense. I raised my head, glaring at her.

"Why are you mentioning her?" I asked firmly.

"She is all you think about these days! You care about nobody else apart from her. I wonder what she did to you!" Vivian said angrily.

"Control yourself, Vivian. I won't let it go if you cross the line," I told her, keeping eye contact.

"Will you fire me?" She asked. "I can't even talk about May. Is it that serious?"

"Stop this!" I shouted. I had lost control. "I don't want to do this with you, Vivian. Take it as I say it. I need some time with myself. Is it that hard to follow?"

Vivian stormed out right after. At that moment, I realized what manner of complicated life I was living. My secretary had just shouted at me. It was all because I was sleeping with her too. When did I become like this? No, I had always been reckless. This was the first time I realized it.

I had to sort out the burdens on my mind. I decided to go home and see May. I walked out the door and Vivian was still around. I walked past her before I heard her voice.

"I like you, boss," Vivian told me. I turned and stared at her. For the first time, Vivian looked very serious. I had never seen such an expression on her face.

"You shouldn't have feelings for me. You should know that much," I told her calmly. "I am a jerk who used you for your body only. I have no feelings for you, I think you should know that."

"I know," Vivian replied. "I also thought I wanted you because of your status before. I might have wanted to get pregnant with your child for a better future for myself. If I did that, I thought I wouldn't have to slave away as a mere secretary all my life. However..."

"What?" I asked.

"However..." She continued. "I think I like you sincerely. I have realized that I hate seeing you show such compassion for May and in the process, I wonder if it's only because she carries your child."

"Why would you have such thoughts? You should focus on your job," I told her firmly.

"Don't change the topic!" Vivian shouted.

"This is an office environment!" I shouted back. "Are you so eager to get fired?"

Vivian took a deep breath and walked towards me. She moved closer, "I want you to answer just one question of mine. Just answer yes or no."

"I don't want to," I decided to walk away. However, Vivian held me back and leaned even nearer.

"If I was the one carrying your baby, would you care about me just like you care about May?" Vivian asked calmly. I began to laugh hysterically. If there was one way I could help Vivian, it was to help her out of her delusion. I didn't know the proper way so I thought being firm would be the best approach.

"Listen up!" I looked into her eyes. "Even if I give you the answer you want, nothing will change. You know I can no longer impregnate a woman. My sperm is... you know the problem I have. Stop asking me such questions."

"That's what you will say?" She turned with a smirk on her face.

"Also, I don't believe you are in love with me," I told her firmly. "You might have some fondness and you might want me because of my status and appearance. I am sure you don't love me, you are only obsessed."

Vivian began to laugh.

"How can you tell a person's feelings apart?" Vivian asked. "You are just a businessman, not a psychologist. Don't you think I can differentiate between love and obsession?"

"You should take a break for now. I will inform the general manager so don't come to work for a while. Go on a vacation and come back when you're back to your senses," I walked out now, leaving her. I could hear her break into tears. However, I didn't bother to comfort her.

I had to see May. I went above the speed limit. It was as if I was going to die from anxiety. Everything that had happened so far was overbearing. The moment I parked at my garage, I ran inside the mansion to find May. However, she was nowhere to be found.

"Where is my wife?" I asked the maid on duty. Right then, Lydia came inside. She wasn't in a maid's outfit.