CHAPTER 51

Lyra's Pov

The cold air brushed against my uncovered skin, the smell of earth heavy as I walked deep into the woods.

Despite Lucious' words, I felt a deep sense of unease, like everyone somehow had it out for me. I could feel their gaze when I passed by, their upturned lips every time I spoke.

At first, I had thought it to them being skittish around a new face, someone they didn't know whether to trust, but as the seconds turned into minutes and that into hours, I felt my body construct, my throat tightened with each breath and the need for air, louder than I'd ever felt.

I hadn't gone very far, my boots crushing against dead leaves when a deep voice filled with hostility stopped me.

“And where do you think you are going?”

I whipped around to find, a familiar woman looking back at me with barely concealed scorn, her arms holding a basket filled with nuts.

I frowned, staring at the woman I knew to be named Mara. I'd met her a few times and had heard Camille give her orders. She was also part of the rogues assigned to gathering and stocks.

Without waiting for my reply, she continued, voice sharp and condescending, “Look at you walking around these plains like you own it. Strutting around looking pretty.”

I raised my arms, “Look, I don't want any trouble. I was just taking a walk.”

“Trouble?” She repeated with a sneer, “With that face, you look exactly like trouble. I have no idea what Lucious sees in you.”

“That's not any of your business.” I snapped, taking offense at her words.

“Oh did I strike a nerve?” She leered, leaning against a tree, “So what? Are you going to run to him and tattle? You think you are better than any of us here?”

“That's absurd! I don't think that—”

“Well, you sure act like it.” She scoffed, pulling away like she was already bored with the conversation, and muttered, “That's probably why everyone is so wary of you.”

I eyed her slowly, voice low, “What are you talking about? I haven't done anything.”

“And that's exactly the point. Keep up whatever it is you are doing and they are going to attack you, one of these days.” She smirked, looking at me coldly.

I swallowed, irritation and fear brewing inside me. “If you have something to say, just say it. I don't understand…what did I do so wrong?”

She shrugged, “Who knows…and who cares. You reek of weakness Lycra –”

“It's Lyra—”

“And soon enough they are going to rip you apart.” She continued, ignoring my words.

“You'd better watch your back. Cause one of these days. Lucious won't be around to help you Ly…cra.”

I exhaled through my lips, fighting for a calm I didn't feel, “ What would you have me do then…how do I at least fend off the people that want to tear into me?”

She shuffled the basket between her hands and shrugged, her face blank, “Simply go back home.”

I flinched, shaking my head. “I can't do that.”

She tilted her head, giving me a long slow look, “Why? Have some over there wanted to take a bite from that pretty skin if yours?”

I frowned, “No. Not that it's any of your business. But I can't leave—”

“Then it's your funeral.” She snapped cutting me off, “You'd better start getting ready to fight to your last breath if you think you are going to survive here. Don't say I didn't warn you when you are attacked front, left, right, and center.”

“But that's not fair!” I argued, “I've done everything to fit in. I've tried to help, I've tried to get in your little circles even offering my expertise. What's so hateful about me that you aren't willing to give me a chance?”

She smirked, turning on her heels.

“Life's not fair, if all people knew this.”

I clenched my fingers, nails digging into the soft flesh. She was right, life wasn't fair. It didn't wait for me nor did it care about my feelings. I should know, after everything that has gone on at the pack, Kaels' betrayal, the pain of being discarded, life had told me everything I needed to know. It would fuck me over at the first chance to get and there was nothing I could do about it.

And that was why Maras' words rubbed off on me more fiercely. I didn't want to accept this, not when this was my last chance at a home, or a place to stay.

I knew I needed to get stronger, it I didn't know how, and here she was offering advice, what better way than to find out from an inner source. It wouldn't hurt I was sure. Even if the particular inner source clearly didn't like me.

Clenching down the feeling of unease, I reached out to stop her.

“Mara wait,” I called, grabbing her arm. She slapped my arms away, shooting me a vicious glare, I stepped back, my arms raised.

“I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you angry.” I began, heart pounding, “It's just…I was wondering…”

“Spit it out already. Any more of your stuttering and I'll walk away.”

“I wasn't—no you are right. I'm sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. Pleading, begging, and thanking don't get you anywhere here.” She eyed me coldly, “except a knife between your ribs and your things stolen. Get your shit together.”

I nodded quickly,” You are right, I'm s—” She arched a mocking brow, and I shut my mouth.

Amused she placed her basket down slowly, arms crossed, “So what is it?”

“I know I don't belong here,” I started, lowering my voice, “but I really want to. Can you give me pointers? Tell me what I need to do to be accepted.”

Mara watched me closely for a few minutes, lips pressed into a firm line.

I shifted under the weight of her stare, ready to let her know not to worry, but before I could she said firmly.

“Nothing.”

I blinked, “What?”

“You want the truth? No one is ever going to accept you. Not now. Not ever.”

“But—”

“That's just the harsh reality. The sooner you accept it the easier for you,” she said, picking up her basket and turned.