Chapter 5: What Am I To You?

NEIRA

My eyes landed on Keiran. He had just dismissed Draven and was walking toward me. My first instinct was to turn around. I lowered my head and walked faster, hoping he would pass without noticing me. After three years of knowing him, I should have known better.

“Neira.”

His voice followed me through the hallway.

I kept walking.

“Neira, wait.”

His footsteps came closer. Before I could reach the next corridor, his hand closed around my wrist. I turned sharply. Keiran stood in front of me, his eyes fixed on mine. For a moment, neither of us spoke. A tight feeling formed in my stomach.

I had spent three years imagining this moment. I had imagined his arms around me, hearing his voice again, calling my name in that sweet, deep tone. I had imagined what it would feel like to have him standing this close. Now that he was finally here, all I wanted to do was run.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

He leaned closer, his finger brushing lightly along my cheek.

“I... I am not.”

He studied my face.

“You looked at me when I came through the gates, then you disappeared. Why?”

“I am sorry. I had work. Welcome back, Your Highness.”

He let out a short, bitter laugh.

“Your Highness?”

I looked away, his fingers loosening around my wrist.

“Neira, I've been home for barely a few hours. I kept looking for you since I arrived, and every time I turned around, you were gone, and now, Your Highness? You never address me that way.”

I quickly cut in, “I had things to do.”

His eyes narrowed.

“You had three years to think about what you would say to me when I came back, and that is what you came up with?”

My chest tightened. He sounded hurt. That was the worst part. I could handle his anger and tantrums, but I couldn't handle the disappointment in his voice.

“I am happy you came back,” I said quietly. “It’s just work, honestly.”

“Then why can't you look at me?”

He stepped closer.

“Why are you avoiding me? Do you know how hard I fought to come back to you?”

I forced myself to meet his eyes.

“You don't look happy.”

I gave him a small smile.

“I am.”

He cupped my face.

“Then tell me what is wrong.”

I swallowed. No, I couldn't tell him. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that his mother had come to my room before his return and reminded me that she could destroy the only family I had left and that she had threatened Elen's life if I refused to stay away from him.

Every time I looked at Keiran, I saw my sister's face and the impossible choice between her and the man my heart longed for. Of course, I had to choose Elen.

I looked away, my voice breaking slightly.

“You have a Luna waiting for you, haven't you seen her?”

His expression changed.

“Who? Varessa?”

I lowered my eyes. I didn't answer.

He let out a slow breath.

“Is this what this act is about? She has nothing to do with us.”

“You are wrong.”

I forced myself to keep speaking even though my throat hurt.

“You have conquered kingdoms and returned with victory. Everyone is waiting for you to be crowned King. And when that day comes, your Luna stands beside you.”

I blinked away the tears burning my eyes.

“And I can't keep pretending there is any future between us.”

I pulled away from him and took a step back. I forced a smile.

“Tonight, the entire kingdom is waiting to see the woman the Moon Goddess chooses for you, and I believe she is the one.”

His jaw tightened. I saw the anger flash across his face, his claws starting to push forward. I gasped and covered my mouth.

Before I could say anything else, he caught my arm and pulled me into his study. The door closed behind us, I let out a loud gasp. I had never seen him this angry at me.

“What the hell is your problem, Neira?”

His voice shook with anger.

“You really know how to get to me. I give you that. It is only you that gets me this worked up, toying with my emotions like this.”

I pulled my arm free. My eyes filled with tears.

“What now?” My voice broke.

“Fine. Since you won't let me go, what am I to you?”

He suddenly went quiet and looked at me, then clenched his fist. The silence between us made my stomach drop.