Chapter Five: The Sudden Shift

‎The applause was cotton in Asha's ears.... distant, muffled, like she was underwater and drowning slowly while everyone around her thought she was just swimming.

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‎She finished her set on autopilot, muscle memory guiding her through the familiar movements while her mind was somewhere else entirely.

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‎Somewhere back at that moment when her eyes had locked with a stranger's across a crowded room and the entire world had stopped.

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‎Not slowed down. Not paused dramatically like in movies.

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‎Actually stopped, like someone had reached into the machinery of the universe and yanked out a critical gear.

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‎Asha descended the stage stairs, her legs shaking in a way that had nothing to do with the six-inch heels she'd been dancing in for the past twenty minutes. The backstage area of Ember smelled like it always did.... cheap perfume trying to cover cheaper alcohol, hairspray, and the particular brand of desperation that came from women working jobs they'd never planned on keeping this long.

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‎She'd been one of those women for three years now. Three years of telling herself just until I finish my certification. Three years of just until I save enough. Three years of this isn't forever, but tonight felt different.

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‎Tonight felt like an ending she hadn't asked for and a beginning she didn't understand.

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‎"Girl, you okay?"

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‎Jade materialized beside her, concern etched across her face. Jade had been dancing at Ember for five years.... longer than anyone else, longer than most people's marriages lasted these days.

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‎ She had purple streaks in her black hair and a tattoo of a phoenix on her shoulder that she claimed represented her "rising from the ashes of bad decisions."

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‎Asha had always liked Jade. She didn't judge. Didn't pry. Didn't treat this job like it was something to be ashamed of or something to celebrate.... just something that paid the bills while life happened around it.

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‎"I'm fine," Asha lied, pulling off her heels and flexing her feet. Her toes screamed in relief.

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‎"You don't look fine." Jade sat down on the bench next to her, close enough that Asha could smell her coconut body lotion.

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‎ "You looked like you saw a ghost out there. Or maybe like a ghost saw you."

‎That was closer to the truth than Jade knew.

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‎"There was a guy," Asha heard herself say. The words felt strange in her mouth, like speaking a language she'd only ever read in books. "In the crowd. He just... he looked at me, and I...."

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‎She stopped. How did you explain something you didn't understand? How did you tell someone that a stranger's gaze had felt like coming home and being exiled at the same time? That for three impossible seconds, she'd felt seen.... not as Cinder, not as the girl on stage, but as Asha, whoever that even was anymore.

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‎"He looked at you and what?" Jade prompted gently.

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‎"And then he ran." The words tasted bitter. "Like I was... I don't know. Terrifying? Disgusting? Something."

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‎Jade's expression shifted from concern to understanding to something that looked suspiciously like anger on Asha's behalf.

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‎"F**k him," she said simply. "Guys come in here all the time acting like they're above it all, like we're somehow beneath them for working here but they're the ones paying to watch. The hypocrisy is exhausting."

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‎"It wasn't like that," Asha said, though she wasn't sure why she was defending a man who'd looked at her like she was simultaneously the answer to every question he'd ever asked and the worst possible news he'd ever received.

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‎Golden eyes. That's what she kept coming back to. He'd had golden eyes that had seemed to glow in the dim club lighting, and that was impossible, wasn't it? People didn't have eyes that actually glowed.

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‎ That was a trick of the light. A reflection. Something.

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‎But she'd seen them. Seen the way they'd widened when he looked at her. Seen something almost like recognition flash across his face, which made no sense because she'd never seen him before in her life.

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‎ She would have remembered. A man like that... tall, dark-haired, built like he could break things without trying, beautiful in a way that was almost aggressive.... that wasn't someone you forgot.

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‎"So what happened?" Jade asked. "He saw you, had some kind of crisis of conscience, and bailed?"

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‎"Something like that."

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‎Asha reached for her robe, wrapping it around herself like armor. Her stage outfit... silver and shimmering, barely there.... had always felt like a costume before. A character she put on and took off. But tonight it felt wrong somehow.

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‎ Exposed. Like that man's eyes had stripped away more than just fabric.

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‎"You want me to have Marcus throw him out if he comes back?" Jade offered.

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‎ Marcus was the bouncer, six-foot-five of muscle and protective instinct. He looked terrifying but had once cried watching a YouTube video of a dog being rescued from a shelter.

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‎"No." Asha surprised herself with how quickly she answered.

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‎"No, if he comes back, I want... I want to talk to him."

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‎"Why?" Jade's eyebrows rose. "So he can run away again?"

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‎Good question. Why did she want to see him again? Any rational person would write it off as a weird moment, a strange interaction with a customer, something to laugh about later over drinks with friends.

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‎But Asha couldn't shake the feeling that something important had happened out there. Something that mattered in a way she couldn't articulate yet.

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‎She touched her chest absently, right over her heart... There was warmth there. An actual physical warmth that hadn't been there before, like someone had pressed a hot stone against her skin and it was still radiating heat even though nothing was touching her.

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‎"What was that?" Jade asked, noticing the gesture.

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‎"I don't know." Asha pressed her palm flat against her sternum, feeling for... what? A fever? A bruise? Some external explanation for this internal sensation?

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‎But there was nothing. Just warmth. Just this strange, persistent feeling that something had changed and she couldn't change it back even if she wanted to.

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‎"Maybe you should go home early," Jade suggested.

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‎"You've been working yourself to death lately with the certification program and double shifts here. Could be you're just exhausted and this guy triggered some kind of stress response."

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‎That sounded reasonable. Logical. The kind of explanation that made sense in the real world where men didn't have glowing eyes and strangers' gazes didn't rewire your nervous system, but it felt wrong.

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‎"My next set isn't for an hour," Asha said instead. "I'm going to grab some air.

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