CHAPTER 5: I FOUND HER

I didn’t expect that my new life would be like this. All I wanted to happen is to bring my old life back. My cars, house, business, luxuries and everything except for Maria. I am still thinking about what Michael told me. I want my wealth to double and I think Michael is the only way and my only chance to help me to make it double, but I am thinking about the process. I don’t like the process of how to double it. I feel like it is between my life and death and I am thinking about it now. Especially to the part where I need to believe that I am an angel of death or a fallen angel of death. How can I believe that if it’s been a long time that I haven’t believed in God? Though I am mentioning him, it doesn’t define that I believe in him, and yet I am here. I need to make myself believe that I am an angel.

I decided to go to church to clear my mind and to ask God about his plan for me. Maybe he would give me the answer in just one snap if I ask him. My mind is clouded because of what is happening to me. It is worse than losing a cheater wife and a wealth that she stole with her just to be with her other man, for them to live like rich. While I am here thinking about how to survive each day and yet Michael appeared and told me about the fallen angels and I am one of them, and it is my way to get my old life back, but it would be like I will be forever rich if I pass the test, and if that one happened. It is my time to take revenge on my cheater's ex-wife and his other man.

I waited for the mass to be finished and let the people leave the church before I got inside and I sat at the front and looked at the altar. It has been a long time since I didn’t visit the church. My questions are suddenly gone and I also don’t know what to say. My mind suddenly went blank when I sat and faced the altar. I took a deep breath and I looked around as I heard cries, prayers, and agonies. I saw five people inside the church sitting at the back, while the others were getting inside and looking at me. I looked closer at them because there was something about them. They don’t look like normal people. They look dead and they are getting more and more until the church gets crowded, and when I turn around to face the altar again. I saw an old woman who was around ninety years old wearing a ‘Baro’t saya’ and she was looking at me.

“Bring me to the other side now,” She said

“Me too,” The other one said

“Me too”

“Me too” And their voices echo in the whole church that bounces back at me.

Until they all demand me to bring them to the other side while they are surrounding me. Their voices echo that I keep on hearing, which hurts my head. I closed my eyes and shook my head and tried to massage it while I was trying to block their voices but I couldn’t. Their pressure is too strong and they are sucking my energy up.

“Are you okay?” I heard the voice of a woman that saved me from all the other voices, The voices from the dead were suddenly gone. When I opened my eyes I saw Tania standing in front of me wearing a simple dress that matches her simple beauty, while holding flowers and looking at me worriedly.

“Yes, I am okay…I just had a little headache” I answered and I looked around the church and the dead were gone.

“I just have a little headache,” I said and she smiled at me while trying to massage my head with her left hand because her right hand is holding a flower. Her touch makes me comfortable. her soft warm hand gives me strength like I don’t want her to stop massaging me.

“I hope you feel better,” She said and stopped messaging me.

“Thank you,” I said and I watched her put the flowers that she was holding at the altar, and she signed the cross, she closed her eyes and started praying silently. Then after she stared at the big crucifix that was hanging on the wall, and then she signs of the cross again and went back to me.

“I didn’t expect that I would see you here,” She said. Yeah right! because you thought that I was an addict. She smile in what I said and shook her head.

“It is not like that. My mom is just paranoid. She wants to keep the safety of the compound” She explained with a smile on her face.

“Yes, I understand,” I said while staring at her face. 

“What are you doing here?” She asked and she sat beside me, which made me uneasy. I don’t know why but when she massaged my head I felt something that I can’t explain.

“I just want to clear my head because I have been clouded this past few days” I answered.

“Oh, that is good… and you choose a church to clear your mind… you are in the right place” She added and she looked at the altar and said,

“I used to do that too… every time my anxiety is attacking I go here to pray and clear my mind and after… my anxiety is gone and I am strong again… that is why I promised myself as my devotion that every Sunday I will go to church to bring flowers after mass” And then she looked at me and smiled again that suddenly melted my heart, and I don’t know why my heart melts when she smiles. I just keep on staring at her. Even though many times I tried not to stare at her my eyes is keep on coming back to her. Tania is pretty and she’s a sweet girl and I think she is ten years younger than me. She looks so fragile and innocent too and I don’t know why I feel uneasy and sweating every time she smiles at me.

“Hi, Tania” The man at the back with two others, waved at her. They looked like a drug addict and Tania didn’t wave at them or even smile at them. I suddenly see the fear on her face when she saw the man sitting at the back. The other two appear and sat beside the man who greeted her. I guess they are friends.

“Come on, let’s go now,” She said and she held my hand because I feel like there is something with the three men at the back that scares her. I looked at her while she was holding my hand because it makes my heart beat fast. My hard and rough hand makes her soft and smooth hand-feel secure.

“Who are they?” I asked her because she looked scared.

“The man sitting in the middle is Jopher, he courted me and I turned him down, and I guess I made him mad. That is why he always says hi to me or sometimes tells things behind my back” She whispered when she saw Jopher and his friends walking towards us.

“Hi, Tania,” Jopher said and now they sat closer to us. Tania held my hand tight and she didn’t greet him back. She can’t even look at Jopher. I can sense fear in her. That is why I held her hand and looked at her.

“Is she your boyfriend, huh?” Jopher asked and looked at me and then stared back at Tania, and then he laughed sarcastically. While two of his friends stand behind me. Jopher is like their queen bee. He will start the fight because he has two friends who are ready to back him up no matter what.

“No… we are just… friends” Tania answered trying to fight her fears. Jopher looked at me and asked Tania, “Why are you holding hands?” But Tania didn’t answer. Jopher tried to shake the chair that we were sitting in and then look at the two of us and laugh like he is teasing or provoking me, but I ignore him and I keep my cool down.

“See you around, Tania,” He said and walked away with his friends, and when they were gone. Tania let go of my hand and looked at me.

“I am sorry… I am just really scared of him… I feel like he will do something bad to me anytime” She said and I feel pity for her because Jopher got her scared. Poor Tania. I looked back and make sure that the three already left and when I saw that they were gone. I looked back at Tania and said,

“Don’t worry he will not hurt you” She smiles at me while looking at me, which makes my heart melt again, and suddenly she hugs me.

“Thank you because you will be going to protect me”

I didn’t say that I will protect her. She just assumed. I will just talk to Michael and tell her to protect Tania. Not me but I don’t want to dull her moment. I don’t want to remove the sweet smile on her face. That makes me stare at her again.

“I think… I have to go now” I said before something unexpected will happen again.

“Okay” She agreed and we walked home. We have the same house compound to go home with. She is the daughter of Divina, my landlady.

While walking home with her. I saw a bunch of lost souls following me. Men, women, and even children. I also saw my Volumina Fumi coming to me with another soul. Tania can’t see them, only me. That is why I need to act normal so that I wouldn’t scare her away and she will not think that I am a drug addict or crazy. I want her to feel safe with me. I tried not to look back but they are not going away. That makes me worried because I feel like they will follow me to my apartment.

“Are you okay?” She asked and she looked back when she noticed that I kept on looking back.

“Yes, I am fine… I just want to make sure that Jopher is not following us” I lied and her dimple flashed on her face again when she heard my answer.

“You are so sweet,” She said because she didn’t know what was going on.

Before we went inside there was an old man who caught my attention. He was sitting at the rocking chair and facing the window. I guess he is around ninety years old and I saw a vision again that he will die two months after his birthday.

“Ah, it’s tatay Celvo,” Tania said while looking at the old man too.

“He loves watching people and what is happening in his surroundings up in his window” She added while still looking at the old man named Celvo.

“He’s always looking outside the window. They said he is waiting for his sons and daughters to come home” She continued and she looked at me because I am still staring at Celvo.

“Hi! Tata Celvo!” Tania greeted while waving her hand, but the old man didn’t mind her. He didn’t even look at her.

“I don’t think he can hear me. He is already 99 years old”

“Come on let’s get inside now,” She said and we went inside and I closed the gate.

“Thank you so much for what happened a while ago,” She said with a smile and kissed me on my cheek and she went inside their house and left me alone with her kiss on my cheek. I didn’t know why she kissed me and I don’t think it’s necessary but I like it. Her kiss made me smile as I watched her get inside and close their door. I went inside my apartment. I was surprised to see Michael. Sitting on the chair waiting for me and looking at me, because she saw me and Tania and of course. She saw Tania kiss me on my cheek. I immediately closed the door and locked it. Before Divina saw me talking alone again.

“That is not what you’re thinking,” I told Michael when I saw her smiling at me.

“Opening a new love huh?” She asked and she looked outside the window and watched Tania for a while.

“She is beautiful,” She said and she closed the window and looked at me.

“So how’s the soul searching in the church?” She asked again because I didn’t find anything but her. I found her. I found Tania.

I didn’t know what to tell her because I bet she already knew. She already knew before it happened. Michael walks near me and looks into my eyes but I can’t look into her blazing eyes. I looked away like a guilty felon in the crime that I did.

“Don’t dare to fall in love because she will forget about you soon, and you know how to hurt it would be”

“I am not in love,” I said while trying to erase Tania in my head and her kiss.

“Not yet,” She said while still looking at me

“Not ever,” I said and I looked at her to believe me but she just laughed.

“You can’t fool me, you can’t lie to me,” She said and I remained silent. I just looked at her.

“Do you want me to call Robin to confirm that?” She asked but I didn’t answer. I just took a deep breath because it’s unfair that she knows all about me. She snapped her fingers and the wine and the wine glass for two appeared on the table. She opened the wine and poured on the glasses and she gave the other one to me. She lift her glass and said,

“Cheers”

“What for?” I asked after I lifted the glass that she gave me.

“For finding you, for finding another fallen angel” She answered and drank the wine in her glass. I drank the wine and it made me ask for more because it really tasted good and I had never tasted a wine like this one before.

“Where did you buy this wine?” I asked her and took a sip. The wine is delicious.

“You mean where did I get it?” She asked back.

I looked at her and nodded while drinking the wine. I feel like I want to finish the wine and put more in my glass.

“From heaven” She answered finishing her wine.

“Did you talk to Jackie now?” Simon asked from nowhere again. Michael looked at him and she looked at me. Waiting for my answer because I haven’t talked to his wife. I feel like I am not yet ready even though I already accepted the task of reconciliation.

“Not yet, because I am not yet ready” I answered and looked at him “Just give me time, please,” I told him and he didn’t answer. He only nodded.

“Oh! holy crap” Michael said while looking outside the window.

I stood up from the chair where I was seated and looked outside the window too. A thousand souls are waiting for me. Waiting for me to bring them to the crossroads most of them have been staying here for a hundred years already. Some are politicians, national heroes, celebrities, and a lot more. They were stuck here and waiting for me to bring them to the afterlife, but it didn’t bother me. What bothers me is Tania. My eyes are looking at her while Michael is looking at the lost souls outside my apartment. I saw her again. She is sweeping the floor helping her mother do the household chores. After she fed the cat. I realized that she is not just sweet and beautiful but she is responsible too. My interest in her grew bigger. I feel like I want to be with her to know her more. She smiles again and shows her dimples. I don’t know if she knows that I am watching her, that is why she keeps flashing her dimple that melts my heart. TANIA, TANIA, TANIA.

Michael suddenly closed the window and made me look at her. With a question, why did she close the window? I am not yet done watching Tania. I feel like I want to open the window again just to watch her again but I don’t want to give Michael a single idea that I am falling in love with Tania, because it is too early for that even I can’t take off of my eyes on her.

“So what’s your plan now?” She asked but I didn’t answer because I am thinking about Tania and I don’t know why I am thinking of her.

“Isaac, welcome to earth,” She said, and then she snapped that woke me up from my daydreaming. I looked at her and answered,

“Honestly, I don’t know where to start and I don’t know what to do,” I told her

“Are you going to help me?” I asked but she didn’t answer. She is thinking about what to answer.

“It depends upon the situation” She finally answered.

After finishing the wine Michael reminds me that my time is ticking. I needed to do something as soon as possible, and she left. She intentionally passed at Tania’s house and greeted her “hi” Tania looked at her and greeted her back. I saw Tania follow her with a look while Michael walked sexily and wink at me with a smile. I shook my head. I don’t want Tania to see her but she showed herself to Tania. I looked in another direction when I saw Tania looking at me. I don’t want her to catch me watching her. I closed my window took a deep breath and looked at my dad who was drinking coffee and looking at me.

“You need to do something now, my son,” My dad told me as if he was reminding me about his death. I stared at him and tried to convince myself that he was not dead because I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want him to go.

“Are you not going to leave me? aren’t you?” I asked while diverting my attention to my dad, for me not to think of Tania.

“But I have to,” He answered.

I sat on the chair and started creating poems inside my head again. The last time I wrote poems was when I was heartbroken. Now, I sigh and ask myself. She keeps on messing with my head. Why was I suddenly bothered when Tania saw Michael? Why am I suddenly bothered about what she will think? I don’t want her to think that Michael is my girlfriend because she is not. Why am I suddenly bothered about Tania? I stood up again and walked to the window and tried to look outside to see her again, but their windows were closed and their door too. I don’t know where she went but I hope she is not mad at me. Why am I so bothered? I took a deep breath and think what to do. My brain is so occupied but I need to confirm now about my decision.

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Time is ticking. Until I decided to finish my mission and once my life is back to normal. I will let Tania know what I feel about her, is what I decided.