Chapter 3

Ms. Payne called me to her office during lunch.

She slid a folder across the desk toward me and said, "The school has a spot in an overseas exchange program. It isn't open to the public. Students can only be nominated based on their grades and conduct.

"You were the first person who came to mind."

I lowered my eyes to the documents. The program lasted a year, and the foundation would cover tuition, housing, and living expenses.

A note at the bottom of the page stated that outstanding participants could apply for full scholarships at universities abroad.

Ms. Payne assured, "I've checked all the costs. You won't have to pay anything out of pocket. Winry, I want you to give this some serious thought."

I pinched the corner of the paper, hesitating for a long time before finally asking, "If I go, does that mean I'll have to leave home?"

She met my gaze. "Yes, and the application deadline is coming up fast."

I tucked the folder into my backpack.

That afternoon, I walked home more slowly than usual.

It was not that I could not bear to leave that house. I just wanted to know if my leaving would mean anything to Mom and my brother.

If I really walked away, would they feel even the slightest reluctance to let me go? Would they try to stop me, or would they let me walk away without a second thought?

During dinner, I placed the application form on the table.

"My school has an exchange program. I might have a chance to go. I'll need some identification and household registration documents."

Mom stopped in the middle of picking up her food. She did not even look at the paperwork. She only asked, "Abroad?"

I nodded. She put down her cutlery and said, "No."

"Can't you at least read the details first?"

Mom pushed the application back toward me. "You can barely take care of yourself. What are you going to do if you get sick out there on your own?"

Aldon leaned back in his chair and said in an indifferent tone, "You can't even handle a fever on your own. Going abroad will just cause trouble for the family."

I looked at them. "I'm an adult now."

Mom frowned. "And that means you can do whatever you want? Don't let a few nice words from your school go to your head. You need to learn your place."

Aldon chimed in, "Focus on your university entrance exams. Stop making trouble."

I did not argue any further. I took the application and carried it back to my room.

…

The next day, Lucille dragged me to the school's minimart.

As she browsed the yogurt section, she said, "Winry, I've decided to stay in the country for college. My godmother has already helped me look into some programs.

"My brother says communications doesn't have great job prospects, so he thinks I should pick something more practical. He even promised to let me intern at his company during the summer break."

She spoke so casually, as though her future had already been laid out for her.

I asked, "What do you actually want to study?"

Lucille paused for a moment. "I don't know, but my godmother and brother wouldn't steer me wrong."

I gave her a faint smile and replied, "That's nice."

She leaned closer. "What about you? Which college do you want to go to?"

I stared at the bottles of water on the shelf. "I haven't decided yet."

At that moment, I finally let go of the last of my hesitation.

When Ms. Payne learned that I could not get the documents I needed, she contacted the school's academic affairs office on my behalf.

"You're already eighteen. You can apply independently. The school can provide proof of enrollment and your academic records. You can get replacement household registration documents at the local police station."

She handed me a folder and added, "Leave everything in my office from now on. Don't take it home."

I began preparing for the assessment in secret. I practiced speaking in the mornings and worked on my application materials at night.

My application and university entrance exam documents stayed locked in Ms. Payne's desk drawer.

The night before the exam, Mom suddenly clutched her stomach and sank onto the couch.

"Winry, my stomach hurts."

I put down my pen and asked, "Do you need to go to the hospital?"

She looked at me. "Don't you have nothing important to do tomorrow? Come with me tonight."

"I have an exam tomorrow," I replied.

Her expression darkened. "I'm sitting here in pain, and all you can think about is an exam?"

Aldon came out of his room. "Mom's health comes first. Just ask for an excuse and skip it."

I let out a quiet sigh and picked up my jacket.

The tests dragged on until late that night. In the end, the doctor said it was nothing more than an ordinary stomach complaint and prescribed some medication.

On the way home, Mom leaned against the back seat and said, "Don't go tomorrow. Stay home and keep an eye on me."

I lowered my voice. "I have to go."

She said nothing more.

…

The next morning, I woke up to see my alarm had been turned off.

My backpack lay open, and the spare set of exam documents I had kept inside was gone.

Mom was in the kitchen, making soup.

I asked, "Where are the papers from my backpack?"

Without even looking up, she replied, "I don't know."

Aldon came out of the bathroom and chimed in, "You can't even keep track of your own things, and you think you're ready to study abroad?"

I searched every corner of my room. At last, I found the papers buried at the bottom of the kitchen trash can.

They were soaked through, the ink smeared into an unreadable blur.

When Ms. Payne saw what happened to my documents, her expression changed. She did not ask a single question and immediately turned on her computer and printed out a fresh set.

"Get in the car. I'll drive you."

When we pulled up outside the examination center, she turned to me and said, "Don't look back. Just focus on the exam."

I nodded and ran into the building.

The exam did not end until late afternoon. When I got home, Aldon was on the balcony, talking on the phone.

"Lucille, I've put together a list of a few colleges here in the country for you. Don't pick something too impractical. If you want an easier time in college, that's fine, too. I'll help you find the right connections."

He hung up when he saw me.

"Where have you been? Why are you coming home so late?"

I walked past him.

"School."

Back in my room, I turned on my old computer.

A new email sat in my inbox.

[Congratulations! You have passed all stages of the assessment. Please confirm your acceptance of the placement within three days.]

I read the email three times. Then I clicked 'confirm'.