Chapter 4

Once my placement was confirmed, Ms. Payne helped arrange a host family for me.

I did not tell Mom or Aldon. Neither of them noticed.

Mom stayed busy with work, while Aldon continued driving Lucille around, helping her choose colleges and revise her application essays.

It was as though they were certain I had no idea what was going on. I passed behind him one day, carrying my visa documents in my hands.

Fifteen days before my departure, the school organized an educational trip. On the way back, an out-of-control truck sideswiped our bus, sending it crashing into the guardrail.

I was sitting by the window. My abdomen slammed into the seat in front of me, and shattered glass sliced open my arm.

Lucille, seated farther forward, had only scraped her wrist. However, she was badly shaken. Her breathing grew ragged, and all the color drained from her face.

Our teachers rushed us to the hospital and contacted our families.

I lay on a gurney, cold sweat beading on my forehead as pain tore through my body. Then I heard hurried footsteps approaching from the end of the corridor.

Mom and Aldon had arrived together. The moment I saw them, my eyes widened. I parted my lips.

"Mom!"

However, they walked straight past my bed and rushed to Lucille, who was sitting in a chair nearby.

Mom pulled her into her arms. "Lucille, sweetheart, you must have been terrified."

Aldon took off his jacket and wrapped it around her. "Where does it hurt? Let me see your hand."

Lucille's voice trembled as she spoke through her tears. "I'm okay, but I was so scared."

Mom gently rubbed her back. "It's all right. I'm here."

A nurse began wheeling my gurney toward the examination room. Only then did Mom turn to look at me.

"Winry, are you badly hurt?"

The doctor answered before I could speak. "She's not in immediate danger, but we'll need to run some further tests."

Mom let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness."

Then she looked at me again. "Lucille doesn't have any family here. Try to be understanding."

I watched the examination room doors close before me. I did not even have the strength to ask her why Lucille's fear mattered more than my pain.

When the results came back, the doctor's expression was grave. "Her spleen is injured. She'll need to be hospitalized for observation. If the bleeding continues, she'll need emergency treatment immediately. Where's her family?"

Ms. Payne went looking for them. When she returned, her face was lined with frustration.

"Lucille said she was afraid to stay at this hospital. Her mother and brother have taken her to a private hospital for a full-body examination."

The doctor frowned. "We can't leave this patient unattended, either."

By the time Ms. Payne arrived, it was already evening. She had not even changed out of her coat. She simply stepped forward and signed one form after another.

"I'm her homeroom teacher. If anything comes up, contact me first."

In the middle of the night, my blood pressure suddenly plummeted. The nurses rushed me into the emergency room.

Through the haze, I could faintly hear Ms. Payne speaking on the phone outside.

"I'll handle everything with the school. If we can't reach her family, please follow the emergency procedures."

By the time I woke up, daylight had begun spilling through the window. Ms. Payne sat beside my bed, dark circles beneath bloodshot eyes.

She handed me a cup of water. "Don't move. Just take small sips."

I managed two mouthfuls. Then she lowered her voice. "Winry, there's an early-entry placement available through the program. You can leave in three days. Your host family is willing to take you in immediately."

My gaze drifted to the bedside table. There lay the hospital's medication instructions and the cup of warm tea Ms. Payne had bought for me.

I had waited for someone at home to care whether I was hurting for such a long time. In the end, it was my teacher who had stayed by my side through the night.

I looked at her and replied, "I'll go, Ms. Payne."

…

The day I was discharged was my nineteenth birthday. Mom sent me $200 as a gift.

Mom: [Work's been too hectic. I'll make it up to you later.]

Aldon did not contact me at all. That afternoon, he finally called.

"You're out of the hospital, right? Come home and sort through your things. Lucille will need somewhere to put her college luggage. We'll make room in your bedroom."

I held the phone to my ear and managed a quiet, "Okay."

When I got home, I began packing. I took only the things I had bought with my own money.

The old belongings Mom and Aldon had casually passed down to me stayed exactly where they were.

Before I left, I wrote them a letter and left it on the living room table.

I put everything in it. Every hurt, every disappointment, and every moment I spent hoping they might finally look my way.

At last, I wrote: [I have never blamed Lucille. From this day forward, you may love whoever your hearts desire, without guilt, without hesitation, and without ever having to look back at me. This time, I'm leaving for good.]