I have tried with all my strength and will to wake up with a positive attitude everyday, but when I seem to be making a little progress, his calls come flooding back, and the memory returns.It is that feeling of helplessness at not being able to turn the page in this tortuous book I call life that overwhelms me.It seems an unfeasible task to forget him, and then I wonder how I can ever leave behind the memory of the man who is still fully alive in my mind. The man who marked me, to whom I gave my body, love and soul. And who embedded himself in my heart forever.Because it is that nothing is forgotten, Ale for me is still more present than ever, and that hurts me. The damage he did to me is irreparable, and the suffering I went through is unforgivable. Nevertheless, my sick thoughts tell me that I need him and also to pick up the damn phone that is ringing right now, because I long to hear him.I long to hear his voice, and to be together with the man I thought I could be happy with
"What do you mean?" I say in a breathy whisper."What you heard," she replies. "I don't know how he found out where I worked, but he came looking for me in my office today."I feel a shiver run through me."Apparently, he already found out that you left Italy," she lets me know and at that moment it feels like my soul is going to leave my body and I can breathe less and less.I recognize that feeling, I'm feeling it again. An anxiety attack is invading my body and I can't stop it."Clau, are you there?" she says, but I can't speak.Time seems to have stopped, and I am standing in the middle of the sidewalk without reacting. The stormy moments hit me abruptly and I find it harder and harder to breathe."Young lady," I hear a voice say far away from me, "Young lady, are you all right?"I hear this time closer, and at that my eyes manage with difficulty to focus on a lady standing in front of me."Can you hear me?" she asks, but I don't answer her.I feel overwhelmed and all I want to do
I can't move from where I am, and I am in a state of shock where I know that if I take even one step, I will collapse.I close my eyes, wishing this is a bad dream and it's not happening. He can't be here, he's not out there."It's not real, it's not true," I think, but all these wishes go up in smoke when I hear the doorbell ringing, along with loud knocks on the front door."Claudia, come out and talk to me, please!," I hear his strong voice say.I repeatedly deny, unable to assimilate what is happening, and without further ado I start running up the stairs, heading for my mom's room.When I get to her door I don't just knock, and open it, leaving me to see her sitting on the bed with dozens of papers scattered around that seem to be letters, which she picks up and immediately puts away in a small box she has nearby."Darling, did something happen?" she questions with a strange tone getting up from where she was quickly.But I can't take my eyes off the box back there, I've never se
It's already dark, the snow is falling through the window covering the street, and the intense cold outside prevents me from wanting to go out.Today is Christmas Eve, but the truth is that this day feels so horrible that the only thing I wish is for it to be over already.These days my mind has been a mess, I have thought about him more than ever despite what has happened. Even though for seven days now, he hasn't called or written to me again, although to be honest, it's the first thing I've thanked him for after everything that happened.I am grateful to him after all that I have suffered.I knew the moment I looked at him that this was the end of us, that night everything died except the memories.There is no more room for Alessandro Lombardi in my life."Claudia, daughter, come down!" my mother's voice pulls me out of my thoughts."I'm coming," I exclaim, but I highly doubt she heard me.I slip on my kitten slippers, ones I wore when I was in high school, and walk out of my room.
"It's a lie," I whisper and his mocking laughter crushes my chest. "Get the fuck out of here, you bastard.""I'll leave, but I know you're going to be thinking about this all night," he says paid for himself.He goes to the window and hangs out by the vines, which makes me seriously consider cutting them off or putting up an electric fence so he can't think of coming back in."Claudia, are you ready yet?" I hear Ethan's voice say from behind the door. "Only you're missing to start eating.""Give me a second, I'll be right out," I reply, trying to recompose my posture.""Okay, I'll wait for you," he says and I have to inhale and exhale multiple times to finally get up the courage to leave."Ready, let's go," I say as I open the door, having taken the key and meeting him."Clau, are you okay?" he questions, detailing me quizzically."Yeah, don't worry," I fake a smile. "Let's go downstairs."When we get to the dining area, everyone is already sitting in their respective seats, they seem
"Shit, I shouldn't have said that," she quickly corrects herself."What do you mean that doctor, Eva, are you talking about Charles?" I say dumbfounded.I have no idea what she's saying. I don't even watch the news, my social media is cancelled to avoid torturing myself by reading and listening to the bullshit on there, and I can't believe what I just heard.Charles came out to defend me?"You weren't supposed to hear about this," she says, letting out a snort."Tell me what happened," I ask."Ahm, that doctor you know, he gave a TV interview yesterday in which he talked about you," she clarifies, and so many expressions show on my face, reflecting the jumble of feelings inside me. "Originally the topic of the conversation wasn't about you, but... in the end they asked him about what happened between you and he cleared it up.""I don't understand anything.""I think you'd better watch the video, it's on social media," she says, pulling his phone out of his pocket."Charles, it's indis
Just the second later I said that last sentence, I feel myself being thrown towards the wall, and his hands come to rest on my neck, trying to cut off my breath."Take it back, you son of a bitch!" he exclaims, maddened, but all it gets me is laughter. "Take it back!""Just...look at you," I say with some difficulty, trying to remove his hands. "Look at what you are. Do you think she deserves to be with someone like you? An alcoholic...and drug addict who isn't even capable of protecting her.""Shut the fuck up!" he spits, and the moment he removes one of his hands from my neck to try to throw a direct punch to my face, I'm quicker and impact my fist on his left eye, making him recoil and release his grip."I'm going to kill you like I should have done that day," he blurts out pulling himself together, his eyelid starting to turn purple from the blow."Try it," I dare him.At that moment I see him try to throw himself at me, but thanks to his uncoordination, I easily manage to land a
Flashback:"How much did this cost you, Ale?" I asked."That doesn't matter.""Tell me, I need to know if I could get my finger cut off for wearing this.""Seventy thousand dollars.""Claudia, please react," I am brought back to reality by the voice of my friend, who has placed her hands on either side of my face, causing me to focus my eyes on her. "Doll, breathe."She is with a noticeable expression of concern on her face.The moment her arms wrap around me, unable to contain it, tears spill from my eyes running down my cheeks, and the tightness in my chest increases, this can't be true."Clau, hey you can't let him get to you anymore," she says, trying to remove all traces of the crying covering my face.""I..." I try to say, but I find it hard to speak. "I'm sorry, I just can't."I try to continue, but my breath catches. I can't finish understanding this."Why?," I ask myself after remembering. "Why did he have to do all this to me? I can't take this whole situation anymore," I mu