18. It's Maddening

-Jian-

"And you do?" The open accusation and twinge of regret in Lance’s question haunts me. "Do you love her, Jian?"

His query echoes in my head as I run, still in human form, to my favorite spot in McLaren Park, where the trees tower and the traffic sounds like running water, soothing my tattered nerves. I lean against a moss-covered log, my hands rake over my face. My mind plays with Lance’s questions as I pull off my fragrant shirt and hang it on a nearby branch to air it out. Despite the stiff breeze, her scent lingers on my skin.

It's maddening.

Stewing, I conclude I don't know if I love Aline. I know, however, that I care more about her than Lance ever did.

Because of this, of course, I have a say. My say is that I can't entangle my life with hers right now. I refuse to be the rebound guy even though Aline is the one I want. I've always wanted her. From the moment I saw her on Lance’s arm to the moment I indulged in my long-hel