22 - Cracks

JUNE’S POV

I somehow felt bad for what I said to Adrien earlier. It felt wrong but I knew it was needed.

“You can’t go to a party like this.” Jules said as she dressed up.

“Agreed.” Savannah added.

“I’m not changing out of this.” I said.

“Are you wearing a top underneath?” Savannah asked me as she dabbed setting powder on her made up face.

“Yeah.” I responded.

They let it go after realizing I wasn’t budging.

I stepped into what seemed like a pool party.

“Oh shit.” I heard Savannah say.

“We didn’t get the memo.” Jules said in response.

Reluctantly, we walked in. People swimming in this weather was nothing short of bizarre to me?

Was I the only one who thought the weather was bloody cold?

“Carter, Jules, Sav, welcome to the party!” Theo walked towards us before taking in our outfits and laughing.

“Don’t be a moron.” Jules said to him.

“Am I the one who looks like a moron here?” He retorted playfully.

“Don’t worry, my sister has some swimsuits if you want to fit in.” He added. “Or you can keep looking like a moron.” He said, looking only at Jules.

Savannah and I exchanged glances before we disrupted whatever banter was going on in front of us.

I spotted Adrien at a table with some people I didn’t recognize.

We locked eyes for a second, he looked away and continued his conversation.

It felt weird.

“Attention everyone! Who wants to play a game of truth or dare?” Theo’s voice boomed through the music and my thoughts.

Most people rushed to the table to engage in it but I sat in a corner, not too far from where they were.

“Why are you isolated?” Max asked me.

He looked around for a bit before saying, “No lover boy in sight huh?”

“You’re not playing?” I asked flatly.

“Nah, I’m not interested but what I'm really interested in…” he drifted off. “Is you.”

“Huh?” I almost choked on my drink.

“Why are you with Adrien?” He asked.

“You can always ask him yourself, you know, he’s your friend.” I deadpanned, feeling uncomfortable already.

“I can but I’m asking you.” He said.

“It’s none of your business Max.” I said with a sarcastic smile.

“I know. Just don’t hurt him.” He said.

“What?” The words slipped from my lips before I could stop them.

“He’s had it pretty rough with relationships. Don’t hurt him, okay?” He said and walked away, leaving me confused.

I couldn’t stop my intrigue, I wanted to find out what he meant so I tried to catch up with him.

I overheard my name as they were playing their game.

I stopped in my footsteps.

“Hmm.” Lori spoke.

“He’s happy with his Cinderella, isn’t he? The prince and the pauper.” She laughed.

There was something dangerous about rich people when they got bored.

They loved turning embarrassment into entertainment.

I had a feeling something was going to happen. I hated when I couldn’t predict what was going to happen.

But I knew Lori Cross wouldn’t let things go quietly.

“Cinderella found her prince because she wants to get rich.” I felt all eyes on me.

Jules and Savannah were nowhere to be found.

“Tell us June, why are you so desperate?” She said coldly.

“Why are you with Adrien? To climb the social ladder, to leech off him?” She laughed, and other people started murmuring.

Fake relationships were easier in public till the public started asking questions.

I wanted to speak but I couldn’t.

I was suddenly aware of all the bodies beside me, all the noise around me.

“You work at the cafe near Kensington right?” She said.

I felt the blood pounding in my ears.

“This one right?” She shoved her phone in my face.

I couldn’t talk.

I didn’t know what scared me the most. Being seen or being understood.

“Is it because your family is going downhill? It must be so horrible that you have to ask the school for aid?” She feigned concern.

Everything felt loud. My thoughts, my heartbeat, the music.

My chest hurt before I realized I couldn’t breathe.

I started walking away then I was running.

Someone called my name somewhere behind me, I couldn’t stop running long enough to answer.

Breathing shouldn’t have required this much effort. I kept telling myself I was fine but my body didn’t believe me.

I collapsed by a tree, feeling all the air leaving my lungs.

I pressed trembling fingers against my chest like that would force my lungs to cooperate.

It didn’t help.

I hated needing people but I couldn’t breathe without one tonight.

My vision blurred with tears and dizziness.

The harder I tried to breathe, the worse it got.

All those eyes staring at me, the bodies that were around me, the smell of sweat, the music, I was reliving all of it over and over.

I felt stupid.

Weak and humiliated.

I spent years building composure carefully, one party destroyed it in minutes.

I buried my face into my arms, trying to disappear from my own body.

“JUNE!” I heard footsteps approaching quickly.

By the time he found me, I already felt ruined. Everything felt wrong, my heartbeat, the pressure in my chest.

He crouched in front of me, “hey hey.” He said warmly.

His hands gently held my wrists to stop me from digging my nails into my own skin.

His arms wrapped around me and lifted me up.

“You’re safe.” He kept repeating firmly.

“I’m sorry.” I said, feeling my tears on his shirt.

“June, stop apologizing.” He responded.

“I’m trying.”

“You’re okay.” He said reassuringly. I shook my head again, my tears falling harder.

“I can’t breathe.” I choked out.

“I know, stay with me, okay?” He said, his voice softening instantly.

I opened my eyes and I could see the worry and panic he was trying to hide.

His voice was the last thing I heard before everything went black.