34 - His Room II

JUNE’S POV

For one glorious second, I had no idea where I was.

Then I remembered Adrien’s car.

Then I remembered absolutely nothing after Adrien’s car.

I looked up to see a half naked Adrien right in front of me. I gently pinched myself to know if I was dreaming or not.

“You’re awake.” He simply said and walked over to the window with a tray of food in his hands.

Just then, my stomach made a small noise and Adrien laughed.

“Eat,” he said before walking towards his closet.

“Why am I here?” I asked.

“I kidnapped you.” He said with a small laugh before turning away.

The way he was standing made the muscles on his back tense, and I found myself wondering how a teenager could be this ripped.

Suddenly, as if he had sensed my gaze, he turned, and his eyes snapped up to look at me.

Surprise flitted through his gaze, but it quickly transformed into an arrogant smirk then followed by a wink.

I quickly focused on the food in front of me and ate in silence.

“You’ve been sleeping for a long time.” He said as he stepped out of his closet, without a shirt.

As he stood, it took all my willpower not to immediately embarrass myself by looking down at the hard planes of his chest.

I knew he was an athlete, but I still hadn't quite been prepared to see the evidence of it chiseled into his bare skin.

“Eyes up here Carter.” He smirked, obviously enjoying this.

I cleared my throat.

“What time is it?” I finally muttered some words.

“Past five.” He replied.

I glanced towards the window and immediately noticed the rain.

“You slept through the entire drive.” He said.

“Oh, sorry.” That was all I managed to say.

“You should be. I had a surprise.” He smiled sheepishly.

“I was unconscious.” I said.

“You were asleep.” He responded.

“Basically the same thing.” I rolled my eyes.

I reached for another piece of toast.

“This…” I paused to swallow the food in my mouth. “Is really good.

“Of course it is, I made it.” He said proudly.

I considered that for a second.

“Hmm now that I think about it, two stars.” I said sarcastically.

His head snapped up. “Two stars?”

“One and half maybe?” I teased.

“You’ve eaten half the plate.” He pointed out.

“I’m just hungry.”

“You’re impossible.” He said and finally grabbed some clothing.

For a moment, neither of us said anything.

The rain tapped softly against the window.

My gaze drifted around the room. It was huge.

There were books, medals, framed photos with his teammates over the years, a Polaroid photo of him and his brother sitting on his desk.

Little pieces of him were scattered everywhere.

“What?” He asked.

I hadn’t realized he was looking at me. He held my gaze for a second, the space between us suddenly felt smaller.

“Nothing.” I replied.

“Hmm,” he said in response.

Then his expression shifted to something more serious, more certain.

“Can I ask you something?” He said quietly.

He sat on his desk, not too far from the bed, staring right at me.

I had a weird feeling about this.

“Depends,” I responded.

“On?”

“What you’re asking.” His eyes didn’t leave mine as I spoke.

“The hospital.” He paused.

“What about the hospital?” I shifted uncomfortably. I had an idea where this conversation was going.

“Why did you kiss me?” My stomach dropped immediately as my brain processed the words.

Because I wanted to.

The answer arrived immediately, it sat at the tip of my tongue before I could stop it.

I’d do anything for the ground to open up and swallow me. Anything.

He caught me off guard. Utterly off guard.

“You’re asking this now?” I replied.

I had no idea what to say to his question. I felt trapped as he sat there, blue eyes staring at me intently.

“Should I have asked sooner?” He said and moved closer. I instinctively moved back on the bed.

“I don’t know.” I said.

What I really wanted to say got stuck in my throat. I could’ve said because I wanted to or because I was stupid enough to forget our rules.

The air between us felt thick with something I’d rather not acknowledge.

“Adrien, I don’t-”

“Did it mean anything to you?” He said.

The answer was yes. Of course it did.

“What?”

“The kiss, did it mean nothing? You act like it didn’t.” He looked at me. The emotions in his eyes were swirling, clear as day.

“Maybe…” I cleared my throat. “Why does it matter now?”

It wasn’t what I wanted to say. But it was the safest thing I could say.

“Because I’m asking.” He replied softly.

Everything Jules told me on the call came flooding.

Suddenly, I wanted to tell him the truth. He deserved honesty and I didn’t deserve his vulnerability.

The hurt on his face was quickly erased.

“But it didn’t feel that way to me.” He told me.

My chest tightened.

He wasn’t supposed to say things like that.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about it June.” He added.

He’s making this more difficult for me.

Guilt seeped into my veins as I thought about everything he had been doing for me.

The food, the hospital, the dinner, even the little things like coming to Amber’s.

He actually cared and I was still lying to him.

“Stop looking at me like that.” I muttered.

I looked away first.

It felt important. Like if I’d kept looking at him, I would say something I couldn’t take back.

“Would’ve been easier if you just were annoying but alas.” He smirked and I felt calmer.

“I can be that.” I said jokingly and he laughed.

“I wish you would stop pretending it didn’t happen.” Adrien spoke with a sigh.

“I should get going.” I said awkwardly. He looked at me with a sad smile, like he still had more to say.

I was desperate to get out of here. I didn’t want to hear more of this.

If I kept listening to him, I would tell him the truth and that would absolutely hurt him. I didn’t want to hurt him.

“Yeah.” He said simply as I walked towards the door.

“Adrien…” I stopped.

A part of me was yelling tell him. Tell him before this gets worse, before he cares any more than he already does.

“Thank you.” I told him, too worried about what would happen after to speak the truth.

“You’re always welcome.” He responded.

Getting home had never felt more urgent as it did in his room. Now that I was home, I could think.

Think about what the hell happened today.

The guilt I felt earlier resurfaced. I remembered his face, the hurt that passed when I lied.

I almost told him.

In his stupid bedroom with his stupid meal and stupid kindness. I almost told him everything.

I had several opportunities every time he looked at me, everytime he gave me a chance to be honest. And somehow I couldn’t do it.

I was going to tell him.

I really was.