CHAPTER FOUR: A PLACE THAT DOESN’T ACCEPT YOU

Darkness seemed to creep towards me gradually. Distant sounds could be heard somewhere around me, but none of them was audible enough to make out.

My body seemed to be weightless and heavily burdened at once; exhaustion had taken me to a place of semi-sleep state.

Warmth was then pressed against me.

It was powerful and strong, i could not comprehend the sensation.

Then I felt it, I'm being carried. The recognition cut through the darkness, allowing some awareness.

I heard some Tramping footsteps in soggy ground and beneath all of those noises came the consistent heartbeat that did not belong to me.

I managed to open my eyes slightly. The surroundings were blurry first. Grey skies, black tree tops, wolves walking beside me.

But then it cleared up enough to know what was happening. I was in Alpha Kieran’s embrace.

Horror gripped me with such intensity that I stiffened immediately.

“I can walk,” I said hoarsely.

Kieran didn’t even bother stopping. “You won’t,” he said. Softly. Conclusively. The he kept walking.

He led me right into Greenwood, straight to a lower barracks building.

Smaller and separate from the rest of the complex. He threw open the door and went inside.

A simple one-room interior. A bed. A basin.

The lamp that’s lit gave no warmth whatsoever.

Kieran gently laid me down on the bed.

The bed creaked from my body weight, sending shooting pains up my legs that made me gasp.

His hands lingered for a moment after setting me down, as if making sure I didn’t slide off the side.

And that’s when it happened, a slight movement, a mistake. In pulling away slightly, Kieran accidentally kissed my forehead.

Just barely a simple mistake. But the air between us transformed immediately.

Neither of us made a sound. Everything suddenly stood still. Frozen for a fraction of a second before Kieran retreated.

"Unintentional," he stated bluntly, in an even tone. Though, not quite as level as before.

I blinked once, pushing aside that warm sensation that refused to leave. "It's okay. Don't worry about it."

This time, I expected everything to end there. It didn't because Kieran did not step back completely. Instead, he remained close enough for me to feel his presence next to my bed.

He silently observed me as though something within him had never fully come back.

"You speak as though pain is just another part of life," he blurted out randomly. "It is," I answered. Then silence lingered for a while.

"And you weren't supposed to be in here," he stated calmly. "But I am," I told him.

He looked at me again, but this time with more deliberation. Not searching, not sizing me up for any possible threat.

Just staring like what he saw wasn't making sense to him.

And then he leaned in again, purposefully, closing some distance, not all of it.

Just enough so the gap between us dissolved into recognition.

My breath slowed of its own accord.

He glanced down at my lips for a brief moment. And then looked up to meet my gaze again.

Unnatural, and inexplicable, and yet not; a tension that seemed to pull equally hard from both sides. Neither of us pulled away.

For just a split second, I thought everything around us just stopped moving entirely.

And then Kieran straightened.

“Get some rest,” he murmured.

Silence stretched out after his words, it was heavy and oppressive. Kieran hovered just beside the bed.

There was something about his very presence that weighed on me like stone, solid and unmovable, except when it wanted to be.

I shifted a little on the bed, struggling against the fatigue in my muscles.

No such luck. Every muscle was exhausted from pain.

Kieran looked over my slight movement.

“You’re working yourself too hard again,” he commented dryly.

“I’m fine,” I replied tersely. Another pause.

“You always say that before you fall over.”

It seemed like more of an observation. As though he'd been watching me enough to see the things about myself that I never noticed.

"I didn't pass out," I murmured.

His stare never wavered. "You did," he replied, as a matter of fact.

Silence once again, only it wasn't awkward. It was worse than that.

The type of silence that was listening.

Finally, Kieran took a step closer, this time at a slower pace. Neither retreating nor advancing. Just… there.

He picked up the cup on the side table and poured water into it, handing it over without waiting for an invitation.

"Drink," he said.I took the cup reluctantly, our hands brushing in passing. Small gesture, but not accidental.

Nonetheless, I gripped it tighter. Drinking steadily. The coolness of the liquid brought me back down into my body.

He watched the entire time, without comment. Neither kindly nor dangerously,

But firmly.

As though he were checking on me.

Making sure I was alive. When I lowered the cup, he didn't reach for it right away.

Instead, his gaze remained fixated on mine. Longing to be broken away from.

He moved closer without me realizing it.

Not close enough to make me uncomfortable.

But close enough to feel his presence. He stared at me in silence for what seemed like forever before saying softly,

“You will remain here until I’ve determined your worth.” My teeth clenched automatically. “Because I’m not something to determine.”

That stopped him. Very briefly.

“Everything in Greenwood belongs to me,” he replied.

The sentence was left hanging in the air, neither harsh nor cruel. I turned my eyes away again, exhaustion returning with renewed vigor.

Kieran caught this instantly. “You’re hurting again,” he told me. “I’m fine,” I responded irritably. He did not push this point.

Instead, he walked up to the edge of the bed and began rearranging the covers. A small gentle gesture. Yet one which somehow took on an additional meaning.

Too intimate. Too deliberate. He paused for a fraction of a second too long before stepping away from me.

And in those seconds, something shifted in the room once again. Kieran’s eyes lingered on me for a moment longer before looking away.

"We will see later," he stated. Even while saying that, he did not go for the door straight away.

He stood there a moment longer.

It was as though it took more energy to leave than stay.

Then he went out. The door closed behind him, and silence returned to the room.

Lying down slowly on the bed and looking at the ceiling, an unsettling realization came to me.

Kieran did not regard me as a survivor.

Nor did he look at me as a possible danger. He seemed to be unsure how he should react to me.

This made me uneasy at first, everything was very quiet. I shifted my position slightly on the bed. It hurt.

I stopped moving then I listened. Steps approached the door. Then paused.

Right in front of my door.

I held my breath in slight anticipation.

A sound of shuffling feet filled the room, as though the person adjusted himself.

Then came a low whisper from outside.

"She is in there." It was answered in a similar manner. "Confirmed."

I held the bed sheets tightly. The door was still not opening. However, I knew what that meant. Someone was approaching.