CHAPTER 3

Lexi

As I strap one of my babies to my body, I glare at the nurse who ìs not even awake to see the murderous stare that I am throwing her way.

If only I had a weapon.

As I search around me for anything that seems threatening, a thought occurs to me.

Sneaking into the nursery was easier than it should be, just a creaky door and a sleeping nurse.

Something is off but not even my sniffing wolf can find what it is. I try to shake off the nasty feeling as I give the room one last sweep and turn towards the door.

Something rouses behind me and freezes. The nurse is awake, and her eyes are growing in her face with shock, her hand slipping away from my son's head and towards a button on the wall.

She presses it and a shrill tears the evening in pieces.

“Damn you, girl!” I curse escaping through the open door and down the hall.

Behind me, the nurse's naked feet patters in pursuit. She is still clutching my other child in her right arm, but the tremors from her heavy footsteps have woken him up and he is screaming his lungs out, adding to the uproar of the eve. The alarm continues, an alternating booming woop-woop and high pitched ween-ween.

My heart lurches. They know.

I stumble into the hallway, legs burning from the birth, when Sophia steps into my path.

“Sophia…”

“Your audacity sickens me!” she spits, lips pulled back from white teeth.

“They're my babies!”

Her lips curl into a sneer, eyes glinting with venom. “You think you can take Rex blood, you filthy rogue? You’re nothing— a stray who spread her legs for scraps. Give me my grandson, now.”

“No! Never!” I snarl, clutching my son tighter as the other continues to wail in the distance. “I’m not letting you touch them.”

She lunges, clawing for the baby on my chest, and I snap. Rage—hot, blinding—floods me, and I slam my fist into her jaw. She crumples like a puppet with cut strings. The nurse who had been lurking behind me, watching our exchange, covers her mouth, gasping.

I jump over the whimpering Sophia, the warmth of my baby against my body fuels me now more than desperate anger.

My heart still aches for the child I could not redeem, but I know that if I stand any chance of making it out of here I must muster up the courage to leave him behind. Only about a yard to the main door and I'll be going out the back, and then the rest is even easier— the forest and the hills, familiar terrain.

Half a yard to the door and it flings open. Manny staggers into the hallway, eyes wild, chest heaving and a nasty scowl on his face.

The sedative wore off too fast. I should have doubled the dose for his huge build.

“Lexi!” he roars, voice raw.

“Get out of my way!”

“Give me the boy, Lexi. I won't ask again!”

Yes, Manny. I know you won't. I step back, cover the baby on my chest with the duffle bag. The only way out is through. But not through Manny or the guards waiting outside.

Without much thought, I dive through the nearest window, glass shattering around me. I hit the ground running, the cold night biting at my skin.

My son wails loudly, a sharp, piercing cry, his tiny body shivering against my chest.

My heart hardens a little more against Manny and his mother because my children deserve better than this. They need the warmth of my love and care but here I am, running through the cold night.

For a moment, I consider what I am about to do. The life of a rogue is not fitting for a baby. Then again, I became a rogue as a little girl and I am so much stronger for it.

It rips me apart— his discomfort, the wind cutting through the thin shirt on his body—but I can’t stop. I love him too much to let him go, to let Manny take him. My legs scream, my stitches pull, but I push harder, tears blurring the forest ahead.

The air behind me breathes with the heavy footfalls of pursuers. Among them is Manny, and I can hear his panting as he jumps over fallen trees.

“Lexi, come back!” Manny’s shout echoes behind me, closer now, his boots pounding with the guards’ steps.

My twins’ cries grow louder, desperate, and it’s a knife in my gut. One wails for the life I am running from, the castle I am leaving behind. The other screams at the open road ahead of me. I’m hurting them to save them, and it’s killing me, but I can’t let Manny and his mother win.

Suddenly, the treeline thins, the blue-black night sky appears along with the slice of a pale moon. The terrain rises, instinct and an acute sense of smell tells me I'm at the end of this road as I skid to a stop at a cliff’s edge.

Below, the river churns, dark and unforgiving, a big black snake meandering around spear-sharp rocks jutting out of the fast currents. One miscalculation, and I will be impaled on one of those spiky stones, my body splattered for the sparrows to feast on in the morning.

Behind me, Manny and his men close in, their growls vibrating through the air. Their heavy huff and puffs rumble, the yelps of their wolves send the bats squeaking and scattering into the night.

The price of freedom is steep. In less than a minute, men from the pack, led by Manny, mad with rage for outwitting him will burst through the pine trees.

The sobs of the baby on my bosom shake his little frame, his gasps on my chest pierce my heart, and I clutch him tighter, my own breath ragged.

I was a rogue wolf, wild, fearless. If I'm going to make it off this cliff, I have to become one again, for the sake of my baby.

But gods, it hurts.

I didn’t choose between my children out of preference, how could I? They are both pieces of me. Both perfect, innocent, trusting.

I did not intentionally leave one behind. I have the strength, I could have easily yanked it out of the nurses’ hand and taken off.

I left one behind because… I thought about every possible way to run with both children.

I was fully aware of the fact that there was a cliff at the end of this road. And I could not take the risk of attempting to take both infants.

I weighed my options, if I jump and don't survive, at least one of them, at least one, can still live. Still grow up. Still have a chance at life.

If I had taken both, and we all died in this plunge, which would have been the most likely outcome... I would have destroyed everything I gave them life for.

I had to make an impossible choice. A choice no mother should ever face.

I whispered to him, my baby left behind, kissed his tiny hand one last time, then left him in the hands of the nurse. Unknown to me that she had heard everything I said and that was the moment she hit the button.

I begged the universe to guard him. To protect him just long enough until I come back for him, because I will. If I survive, I swear by my soul, I will come back.

But I couldn't risk two lives. So I chose the only way that gave at least one of them a chance. And I chose the one pressed to my heart because I couldn't leave with empty arms.

The screams of the other still echo in my head, louder than the river, louder than the pursuit. They will haunt me every night until I hold him again.

A lone, rogue wolf with one half of her twin babies.

I’ve got seconds to choose, jump and risk our lives in the icy water, or stay and lose him to Manny forever. My love for him burns, a wildfire in my chest, and I can’t let him go.

I hold my breath and kiss my son on his red forehead.

May the warmth I feel for him be enough to save him from the cold of this river.

Not now. Not ever.