My head is pounding as I walk through my local area, it used to be a small area, however developers had thought that Kingswood was a desirable area and continued building new home after new home. I can’t complain too much. It’s become a self sufficient area, local shops, bars, restaurants, schools and even a health centre.
What I care about now though is the lovely little cafe/restaurant that I’m heading to. The Village Green. They have a lovely breakfast and lunch menu. Just what I need, along with a drink to wash down some ibuprofen to ease this headache.I check my phone and see several messages from the girls. Laura, Ellie, Pavan and Katie are already there, having driven rather than walked. I don’t know how they dared, I must be at least three times over the legal drink drive limit still.Unless they didn’t put as much away as I did. There are messages from Heidi and Shelly saying they can’t make brunch, but let’s do drinks and takeaway tonight as they have to hear about my morning.I reply saying that I’m up for takeaway and drinks tonight and then pocket my phone. Just as I arrive at The Village Green. I open the door and walk in. A waitress approaches me just as I spot Laura, Ellie, Pavan and Katie. “I’m joining that table” I say pointing to where the girls are sitting.The waitress smiles and takes my drink order saying she’ll be across shortly to take our food order.“Here’s Miss Walk of Shame. So was he hot?” Pavan greets me. Pavan isthe newest member to our group. Having moved to Hull, UK from India to study at the university of Hull. She has a silky caramel complexion, long straight black hair, wide brown eyes and stands at 5 foot and a peanut and has the most beautiful figure. Add that to being the sweetest person I have ever met and she’s just too perfect to be allowed.“Never mind hot, was he good? I need all the juicy details” Ellie pipes in. Ellie is outgoing and a little boisterous, some would say an intimidating personality, but once you get to know her; she has a heart of gold and will help anyone. She’s 5ft6 and a beautiful curvy size 14. She has a slender face, a button nose and her hair is currently a vibrant pink.“Well, good morning to you ladies too” I smile, taking a seat at the table. “Well I hate to burst the bubble, but despite him being naked in my bed, we didn’t actually sleep together. So no walk of shame” I add.“Wait? What? He was naked in your bed and you didn’t sleep together. Are you sure? Is his cock broken?” Laura asks. Laura, my partner in crime. We’ve been friends for 10years. She’s five foot five, athletic, blonde and gorgeous. Seriously guys. If carlsberg did friends and all. My group are the winning combination.“Well given the eye full I got this morning, I would definitely know if we had” I tell them, holding my hands out, indicating he is huge. This makes the group laugh out loud.“So why didn’t you sleep with him?” Katie asks. Ah Katie. The bronzed goddess. She’s tall at five foot 11, slim body and slim face, a straight nose, deep blue eyes and shoulder length blonde hair.“Well apparently I tried to. But because I was so wasted he didn’t want me to think he’d taken advantage so he turned me down and just cuddled me apparently. I mean what guy turns down no strings sex?” I ask, face palming myself. Am I such a mess that he didn’t want me?“I think it’s sweet. He has respect for women. He wants to appreciate you. I think” Pavan says, ever the optimistic.“Well when I woke him, we had a coffee and walked to the station. We made some general chit chat while walking. He said he put his number in my phone last night and to call or text him if I want to meet for dinner. Does that mean he’s happy to have a one night stand. If I am not wasted, if I am sober?” I wonder aloud.“No, I think he would have said hook up if he wanted a one night stand. Maybe he likes you and wants to get to know you” Ellie chimes in.“Excuse me, are you ready to order ladies” our waitress asks. Her name badge says she’s called Louise. She’s new here, she hasn’t served us before.“Could I have the Eggs Benedict please?” I request.“Same for me please” Ellie says.“I will have the same but please hold off on the meat” Laura adds.“I will have a full English please” Katie speaks up.“Ok, so three Eggs Benedict, one without meat and a full English. Will that be all?” Louise asks us.“For food yes thank you. Could we also have one of the new smoothies please, one of each so we can all try them” I add.Louise nods and leaves our table.“So are you going to call him?” Katie asks me.“I don’t think so. What do I say? Thank you for sleeping naked with me, how about we do it again. So what else did we do last night? Seeing as I’m the only one with no recollection” I grumble.“How about we save that and Mr in your bed for our takeaway when we are all together” Ellie teases.We eat our brunch, chatting about work and family. As usual the food is amazing, and really helps the hangover. When we have finished we make plans to meet at 6pm for takeaway and wine at mine. We tip our waitress Louise, hug and say ‘bye for now’. Well only seven ish hours until I find out what the hell happened last night* * * * * * * * * * *Now some may say I’ve made no effort, but knowing my friends, they will rock up in the same attire. What are friends for after all? Wearing my new Harry Potter pyjamas, with the quote exceptionally ordinary from Luna Lovegood, I tie my hair up into a messy bun.Then I make my way to the kitchen to get out wine glasses, plates, knives and forks so that we’re ready for when the takeaway arrives. I place them on the coffee table and switch the radio on low. Then I sit and wait for my girls, prepared to find out how I embarrassed myself last night and also dish the dirt on Mr no name in my bed.Mr no name who now has a name, Mark. Mark who seems like a respectful, kind and funny guy. Mark who wants to take me out for dinner to get to know me. Mark who is painfully handsome, with the body of a god and just appears to be too good to be true.Mark, the man who has occupied my thoughts all damn day. Mark. Mark. Mark. Uhhh the girls need to hurry up and get here so that I can get him out of my head, at least until I have to spill the dirt anyway.I hear the familiar sound of the door handle jiggling, followed by a rat-a-tat-tat knock on my door. Opening the door I see that Heidi is the first to arrive. “Glad to see you are finally being sensible and locking your door. I was beginning to worry that one day I’d come to find you had been murdered”, she states, being as dramatic as ever.“I only ever have it unlocked when I know that people are coming.” I argue back.“That’s besides the point. It could happen you know. I see it in the news regularly. Is anyone else here yet?”“No. You’re the first, come have some wine”, I tell her. Letting her lead the way to my living room.We’re sat huddled around my coffee tables eating domino's pizza and drinking wine. “It started with those damn shoes. You know the ones that you just needed so badly…” Heidi begins.Ahh the shoes that ruined everything, the night comes flooding back to me…..Some might say that I don’t need another pair of heeled black shoes with a to-die-for heel. Particularly when, to the untrained eye, there are several similar pairs fighting for space under my bed. Others might point out that the success of a first date is never to do with the quality of footwear. That you’re just as likely to meet the love of your life in 99p flip-flops as in glorious sling-backs that cost . . . well, let’s not dwell on the cost. Let’s dwell instead on Rich, with whom I’m going on a date this evening. The gorgeous, intelligent, chisel-jawed, tight-arsed Rich. That way, you’ll understand about the shoes – and why, despite my strict rule that a first date will never result in sex, I have removed all trace of body hair so that my bikini area now resembles that of a French porn star. Just in case. The to-die-for shoes and enthusiastic depilation are but elements of a routine with which I’ve been a stranger to for the past eleven months.It was then that I was thrust b
*** CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING *** “It was a disaster of epic proportions,” I declare. “I’m sure you’re exaggerating,” says Katie. “I’m not. By the end of the night, the look on his face was exactly the same as Daniel’s”The girls look at me blankly. “The accountant from before Christmas,” I add. “Which one was he again?” Pavan asks. “You know – the one who looked like a skinny Jason Mamoa.” Pavan shakes her head, still baffled. “The one whose nose I broke doing my “YMCA” routine,” I say reluctantly. “Ah. Well, The Village People always have had a lot to answer for.” Despite the quip, I can’t help noticing Pavan’s sympathetic look. It is a look with which I am tragically familiar. “Do you think you’re going to see him again?” She ventures. “Not unless he is run over, suffers a catastrophic head injury and he has a bout of amnesia and forgets what a moron he went out with.” “It can’t just have been the thing with the shoes, surely,” Katie says. “I mean, the thing with the shoes so
* * * One Week Later * * * “Let me get your bags,” I say as Scott struggles to get out of the car. His leg is in pot and he’s struggling to use his crutches. “I’ll help,” Pavan says. “You really don’t need to do this, Miss Emma,” he says shyly.“I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve considered you a friend for a long time and you also saved my life. It’s time for me to step up and be the friend you need. I should have done it sooner,” I tell him honestly.“I wouldn’t have accepted it before,” he replies truthfully.I know I’ll be eternally grateful and indebted to Scott for several lifetimes. Once Pavan leaves, I tell Scott I’m going for a shower. I spend what feels like hours sitting in the bath under the torrent of water as my tears escape. This is what I’ve resorted to since it happened, crying in the shower and letting the water wash my tears away. “Miss Emma, can we talk?” Scott says as he taps on the bathroom door.“I’ll just be a minute,” I tell him and turn off the shower
* * * One Year Later * * * * * * Emma’s POV * * * A year after starting at Herman Brown and I’ve just finished a huge career changing presentation. Something I never thought I’d have achieved two years ago after he who must not be named almost ruined my life. I thought I’d never be happy again, but today I feel life is finally going in the right direction. “How do you think it went?” I’m buzzing with adrenalin after one of my most important presentations ever. “I can’t believe you have to ask,” replies Danielle, perching on my desk. “The panel couldn’t have been more convinced if we’d bent down and given each of them a deep throat blow job.”I suppress a giggle and skim through the notes I scribbled during the meeting. I’ve worked for weeks on this pitch but if we win the client – a massive sports brand firm – it’ll be worth it. “You weren’t thrown by the question about contacts in the China?” I fret. “What’s with the lack of self-belief, Emma?” says Danielle, stuffing her red ha
My careers now on track, my life is moving forward and I’m order to stop Mark continuing to affect my life, I’ve decided it’s time to jump back on the dating wagon. But I haven’t practiced any self love since that night and my waistline shows it. My love-life will never get off the ground unless I endeavour to become thinner. Scott looks at me as if I am certifiably insane when I share this conclusion with him. I then explain that there is some logic behind the theory and I am not simply some Hello magazine-reading idiot who is obsessed with the size of her thighs, at which he points out that I love Hello magazine and spend more time contemplating the circumference of my legs than most people do inhaling oxygen. My argument is this: first, had I the bum of a seventeen-year-old gymnast champion and a washboard stomach that made Kate Hudson look like a pork-pie addict, I would radiate a level of self-assurance that would be irresistibly attractive. Secondly, were I possessed of such
Do you know those apartments in Changing Rooms with elegant soft furnishings, hand-made decorative items and room schemes that showcase striking colours with clean lines? Well, our apartment is nothing like those. I’d like it to be. It’s just never worked out like that, despite my considerable efforts. When we moved in, fired up with creative zeal, I attempted in earnest to recreate such a look. Only, when I painted the hall a deep shade of mustard, it looked brown. So I painted over it with ‘Blush’ and that looked brown too. I followed with a ‘Corn’, a ‘Yellow Meadow’ and an ‘Olive’, but the most appealing shade I ever managed just looked like the unwashed shorts of a dirty Boy Scout. When Scott pointed out that the walls mightn’t withstand much more, I went for broke and painted it ‘Duck Egg’. Every time I walk in now, I feel as if I’m being committed to a prison cell. Still, we’ve learned to live with it. The other reason our apartment is some way off those in Changing Rooms is
I’m so excited about Project Scott, I’m almost tempted to bring proceedings forward and rearrange my date with Jake tonight. But Dani’s out anyway, with a wealthy older man she’s been seeing recently, and Katie and her boyfriend Ryan have gone to the cinema. Besides, we couldn’t do it properly on a Friday night.Instead, we have the whole of tomorrow in which to hit the shops and begin Scott’s reinvention. Consequently, I have stuck to Plan A and arrived at the shabby-but-trendy bar where Jake and I arranged to meet. Judging by how sexy he looks when he walks in, it was the right decision.“Emma, how are you?” He smiles as he approaches me at the bar. Jake is a lecturer in Social Studies (whatever that means), so as well as having a bum I could keep under observation all day, he’s a chatty man too. He’s wearing fitted jeans, vintage trainers and a T-shirt showing off biceps that could have been inflated with a tyre pump. I’ve dressed in what could be the first thing to fall out of my
Dani looks as if she’s bitten a rotten apple and washed it down with lighter fluid. “That’s very weird and creepy.”She, Katie and I have hit the shops with Scott to begin his makeover. “I mean it,” continues Dani, frenziedly rifling through a rail of sweaters. “One phone call from his mother would have been suspicious. You deserve a medal to have lasted as long as you did.”I shrug. “I definitely won’t be seeing him again, that’s for sure.”“It just seems so unfair,” sighs Katie.“But, it wasn’t just the thing with his mother,” I complain. “I couldn’t understand a bloody word he was saying. And that was when he was talking about the plays I’ve seen. When he got onto Roger Vitrac and Power to the Children he could have been speaking Cantonese.”“Oh hell,” says Katie, concerned. “Don’t worry, Emma. I’m sure you’ve just been unlucky.”This is what she says after all my dates, but I don’t point it out. Besides, unfettered optimism must come easily when you’ve got a love-life like Katie’s