An Alice for the Vampire

“Amira, I’m sorry… Father is dead.”

The moment Brother Kyle pronounced the word ‘dead’, I had the impression my soul got crushed.

“It can’t be…” I murmured in denial, “Just yesterday… he promised me to stay…”

In all my dreams and plans, Papa had a place. In my imaginary graduation, wedding, childbirth... Papa was always by my side. 

“Papa…” 

I shook my head, and I screamed and cried my heart out, “Papa!”

I pushed Brother Kyle away and entered Papa’s room, only to see the doctor covering his dead white face. I have no idea what happened to my head at that moment. All I remember is that I took the cover off and kissed Papa and begged him to open his eyes. And I didn’t stop till Brother Kyle pulled me over, crying as well “Let him rest Amira! He suffered enough.”

“No… No!”

I fought Kyle with all my power and I begged him with all my heart to not take my father away.

“I know it’s hard, Amira! My heart is burning as well. But he is dead. He is dead…”

Kyle hugged me with all his power. I resisted, I screamed, I scared his back with my nails, but he didn’t let go and he didn’t say a word. Eventually, my hands and legs went weaker, and I lost consciousness in his embrace.

In my dream, I saw myself in a garden of Eden. I met a strange handsome man whom I asked, “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the man.

“I don’t much care where—”

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” 

When I woke up, I was in my bed. I had a cold compress on my head, “Did I have a fever?” 

Kyle was sitting by my side, caressing my cheek. “Amira,” he whispered my name and smiled at my awakening although his eyes were full of tears. “Please, I need you by my side.”

His desperate voice, the long rest I got, and the drugs the doctor gave me, were enough to let me get my senses back.

We just lost our father. And we needed each other like never. 

“Brother,” I kissed his hand trying to keep my tears from falling, “sorry.”

“Thank God,” he cupped my face with his hand. “You have had a fever for the past few days. I thought I would lose you as well…”

His hot tears fell on my face like rain and they mixed with mine. Brother Kyle was always cold and strong. Seeing him melting by sadness broke my heart into pieces. My sadness caused me to have a severe fever and mental breakdown. Instead of standing by my Brother's side in this difficult time, I was just a burden… like always.

I wished I just never existed.

“Forgive me…” I whimpered, “I left you alone… when you needed me the most… I’m sorry Brother.”

The surprise on Kyle’s face and then his bright, rare smile hugged my tired soul, “You’re here now, Amira. That’s all I need.”

I hugged Kyle and patted his hair gently so he could finally stop being strong, and cry our father’s departure.

After a long heartbreaking cry, Kyle lifted his head from my shoulder and kissed my forehead, “We buried him two days ago.”

“Yes.”

“Don’t be sad. He wouldn’t want you to participate in such a hard event.”

I shook my head, “At least, I had to comfort you, Brother.”

“If you love me, you will show me your pretty bright smile, Amira.”

I smile through my tears to please him. And he smiled through his to calm me. 

He cupped my face with his hands and kissed my forehead, my cheeks,... and my lips.

“I love you, Amira.” He said.

And I swear, my heart almost stopped beating: That love you, was not innocent.

“We have no one left except each other,” he added “So don’t you dare leave me like them. Don’t you dare.”

My blood freezed as I saw the madness in his eyes. He lost his head for good! 

“Brother… what are you saying?” 

He didn’t answer. He kept looking at me in the most disturbing way ever and kissed my long black hair.

“You won’t leave me as Mother and Father. No, you won’t. I will keep you in a cage, so you can never leave me.”

Before I came to get over the shock, he pulled me into his chest and hugged me too tight that I almost suffocated. 

“Where should I keep you, sweetheart?” he whispered in a sick tone, “Should I lock you in your room? Should I get you a bird cage?”

“Brother,” I implored, “This is not you! You’re too hurt, and you’re not well. You need help.”

“I only need you.”

“No, you need to heal!”

“I don’t want to heal. I just want you.”

My nanny once told me, “Every few decades, the Cross family gives birth to an heir with a strong body and weak mind, so he can easily go crazy and berserk, ruining himself and the family.” That was my family’s curse. And Kyle got it.

Kyle kept me in my room for the next couple of days. I didn’t resist because I didn’t want to test his patience, but I begged him hundreds of times to see a doctor. Of course, he refused. After Father’s death, Kyle took over everything. I had no power, no connections, no money. And I knew I was a small paper boat facing a tornado. 

Every night, he visited me. He didn’t touch my body weirdly again. But he kept frightening me to the core with his words.

“I asked them to make you some pretty chains of gold. They will be so pretty that you would enjoy wearing them.”

“I better not get chained.”

“You’re a baby, Amira. I am your big brother, I know best.”

“Brother, please. You need a doctor.”

“I only need you,” he refused to give me permission to speak further. “It’s your sleep time, honey. Let me help you wear your nightgown.”

“But—”

The moment I dared to think about going against him, he looked at me like a serial killer. I bit my lower lip in horror and lowered my gaze in submission. 

That night, he took me to bed and slept by my side. Of course, I didn’t have a taste of sleep. I stayed awake like an owl for the whole night, afraid he may harass me in my sleep.

The next morning I cried my heart out after he left my room. I cried for my dead parents and I cried for my poor brother who lost his head, “If only I can find a way to break the curse!”

On the third night, Kyle didn’t come along. He had some work, so he spared me for some time and I had the opportunity for the first time in days to sleep soundly.

That night, in my dream, the same mysterious man visited me in the garden of Eden.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” I asked him, again.

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the man.

“Well, I want to get to a place where I can find a cure to heal my brother.”

“If you’re seeking a cure for madness, then maybe you ought to visit Madland.”

“Sir, I’ve heard of a Wonderland, but never of a Madland!”

“Madness and Wonder are quite the same. Aren't they?”

“How?!”

“Who knows?”

“Alright, how to get to that land?”

“Obviously you need a train.”

“A train? And where can I find the tickets for such a train?”

“Where you dream.”

“How—”

“But first you have to pay.”

“I don’t have money, but I have jewels!”

“I need more.”

“Like what?”

“Blood.”