An Error Love

(Javis POV)

Sobrang gulo na ng bahay, because everything Ellora saw she would threw it on my direction. I need to go far from her, masakit kayang matamaan ng mga gamit na hinagis niya.

"Honey, 'wag namang ganito, let’s talk." kanina pa ako nagmamakaawa at kanina ko pa gustong matapos ang kaguluhang ito.

As soon as I entered our door, she immediately threw a pillow at me which went straight to my face.

Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit siya nagkakaganito. Hindi ko rin alam if I did something she didn't like to get angry like this.

Lahat na ng pillows na nandito sa sala namin ay nagkalat na, maging ang remote ng TV, mga magazines, mga news papers, iilang libro, mga decorations na nandito sa sala ay naglipara na.

"Teka lang hon! Don’t throw the vase! 'Wag yung vase! Mahal ‘yan." natataran kong sigaw, sa sobrang pagkataranta, I don't know if I have to block my two hands to protect my face or if I will catch the vase that she will be going to throw so it won't break. Pero mas maganda siguro kung iwasan ko nalang?

I was a little out of breath as she returned the vase to it's place. Gustuhin ko man na pumikit ay hindi ko magawa, baka kasi matamaan ako ulit.

Nakikisabay pa itong phone ko sa ingay ng mga nagbabagsakang mga gamit. I took my phone out of my pocket and saw Carlo calling, I quickly answered it.

"Bro, where are you? The reunion is going to start." it quite noisy on the other line due to the loud music, pero magkaganoon man ay malinaw ko pa ring narinig ang lahat ng sinabi niya.

"Bro, hindi ko alam kung makakapunta ako sa reunion may... Hu houwhaaaa!" aray ko po ang sakit naman n'on, para ata akong nabukulan ng ihagis niya sa akin ang pinaka makapal na libro na nasa ilalim ng mesa.

"Nag-aaway na naman ba kayo ng asawa mo? Take a break bro, kakagaling mo lang sa trabaho 'di ba?" hindi pa man nagsisimula lang reunion mukhang nakainom na si Carlo.

"Ayusin ko lang 'to." walang paalam ay ibinaba ko na ang tawag. If he only new that I really want to go to our reunion, specially now that I have a chance to see my old friends again.

Ang inaalala ko lang at lubos kong ipinagdarasal ay huwag niya sanang maisipan na magtungo sa aming kusina. Dahil pagnagkataong maisipan niyang magtungo sa kusina, I didn’t know what would happened to me.

Naiisip ko palang na ihahagis niya ang mga plato, mga baso, mga kardero o anumang pwedi niyang ihagis ay talagang hindi ko iyon na iiwasan pa. I was dead when the knives were the ones she would pick up.

"This time what's the problem again?!" hindi ko maiwasan ang hindi mapasigaw habang iniiwasan ang mga nagliliparang mga gamit.

"You!" she answered breathlessly and was about to hit my face again with the last book she had thrown.

"Let's talk." I asked calmly while she stopped throwing things because she had nothing to throw.

"Why is it so hard for you to give us your time?!" her deafening shout seemed to be heard throughout the house.

"Hon, I badly wanted to be with you and our son. But I can't leave the company, especially now that it has an expansion in Toronto and one more thing, we've already talked about this, isn't it? We’ve been like this for a few days. Lagi nalang tayong nag-aaway nakakapagod na." napaupo ako sa coach, hindi ko siya matignan sobrang pagod na talaga ako sa trabaho tapos uuwi ka ng bahay na ganito ang madadatnan mo. I badly wanted to take a rest.

"Why don’t I get tired of taking care of our child alone?!" hindi naman na niya kailangan sumigaw sobrang lapit ko alang kaya sa kaniya.

"Bakit hindi ka ba tinutulungan ni nanay Perla sa pag-aalaga sa anak natin?" even though I didn’t want to show that I was disgusted it just came out of my face.

"You are what I and your son need, kahit konting oras lang." she bit the bottom of her lip and I could see in her eyes the dripping tears.

"I know I don't have much time for the both of you. But I also don't know how to divide my time and my body for you and for the company especially there’s a lot of works need to be done, the expansion, board meetings…" paulit-ulit ko nalang sinasabi ang mga ito sa kaniya, ilang linggo na ring ganito.

"I’m only asking for a little time. Ano naman kung umuwi ka ng medyo maaga, so I can eat dinner with you? Is that too much to ask?” mahirap bang intindihin? Hindi na ako nakapag salita dahil bigla niya akong iniwan.

Wala na akong magawa kung 'di ang pagmasdan nalamang siyang umakyat ng hagdan at pumasok sa kwarto ng anak namin.

Napahawak ako sa aking ulo, isang pag-aaway na hindi naman natapos pag-usapan.

My phone suddenly rang when I looked at it, a friend was calling.

"Jayson," walang gana kong pagtawag sa kaniyang pangalan.

"Bro, anong oras naba? Attend kapa ba?" I heard him laughing and as if he teasing me from the other line.

"On my way bro." as I drop the call, I got up and walked out the door when I got in my car and I immediately start the engine.

Kailangan ko munang palamigin ang init nang ulo ng asawa ko. If I stay at home, she will definitely not talk to me and she will ignore me again for the whole night.

Kailangan ko munang kalimutan ang pagod, siguradong may alak d'on, kabaliwan ng mga kaibigan, tawanan, kulitan, masayang pag-uusap at masayang samahan. Nandoon ang buong tropa siguradong masaya d'on.

Kailangan ko 'yon, para kahit papaano, I can feel that I still have someone with me, to feel that their still someone supporting me.

I admit that I don't really spend much time with my them. Pero ang lahat ng aking ginagawa ay para rin sa pamilya ko.

Ilang sandali pa ay nakarating na ako, ipinarada ko ang kotse pagkatapos ay dumaretso ako papasok sa inarkila nilang buong resort.

They are all scattered here, may nagkukwentuhan sa function hall, may mga nagsu-swimming, may mga salingerong umiinom sa may tabi ng pool.

"Yow! Mr. Javis Reyes is in the house!" tuwang-tuwa si Vincent ng makita ako. Napangisi ako bigla ng dahil sa kumpleto at masayang pagsigaw niya ng aking pangalan.

He stood up and greeted me with a hug while holding a glass full of wine, bilang ganti ay niyakap ko siya pabalik, habang inapiran ko sina Carlo at Jayson. Mukhang kanina pa sila nag-iinuman at halata sa kanila na marami na silang nainom.

We’ve been drinking for seven hours. We called Jayson’s driver to take him home. Natutulog na kasi siya dito sa tabi ng pool.

We also called Vincent’s driver because he couldn't stand up anymore.

Maging ang driver ni Carlo ay tinawagan ko na rin, I know he can't go home alone because he keeps saying that the world is spinning. Sa tuwing sasabihin niya iyon ay hindi naming mapigilan ang pagtawa ng malakas.

Heto ang matagal ko ng hindi nagagawa ang sumakit ang tiyan sa kakatawa. Iniisip ko kung kailan nga ba ako huling sumaya ng ganito?

Puro trabaho, away, kumpaniya, bahay ang naging focus ko, bakit ko nga ba ginagawa ang lahat ng iyon? Malamang para sa pamilya ko. Masaya naman ako 'diba?

Ang sakit na nang-ulo ko, mukhang tinamaan na ako ng alak. Tatlo nalang pala kaming nandito, natutulog pa sa mesa itong isa.

"I’m going back to my room." mahinang sambit ni Avi at saka siya tumayo, pagtayo niya ay bigla naman siyang na out of balance dahilan para mahulog siya sa pool. I immediately stood up and reached her hand and slowly pulled her up to get out of the water.

"Where is your room?" she was soaking wet and because she was wearing white, it was inevitable that her underwear would be exposed.

I took my coat and covered her body. Itinuro niya ang daan pabalik ng kaniyang kwarto. She opened the door, when I helped her lie down on her bed, she accidentally pulled me and I also accidentally ran over her. Dahil sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari ay nangyari ang mga hindi dapat mangyayari.

The next morning, I woke up with a severe headache from a lot of alcohol I drank last night. But I still forced myself to get up and to get dressed.

What have I done? Mali ito! Maling mali! Ano ba 'tong nagawa ko na masalanan?

After I got dressed, I sat down and looked at Avi wrapped her body with a blanket. Sh*t! Ano ba ang nagawa ko? Hinawakan ko ang aking sumasakit na ulo. I massaged it while remembering what happened last night.

Nang biglang bumukas ang pintuan at iniluwa nito si Ellora. Napatayo ako sa sobrang gulat, nanliliksik ang kaniyang mga tama. She saw the vase next to the door and threw it in my direction and ran fast.

Mabilis ko namang naiwasan iyon at tumakbo rin ako upang habulin siya pero hindi ko siya na abutan kaya ang ginawa ay sumakay na rin sa sariling kotse at sinundan siya pauwi.

Ilang sandali pa ay nakauwi na kami, mabilis siyang pumasok sa loob ng bahay. When I opened the door of our room there was a large suitcase open.

"Alam kong mali 'yon, maling mali..." I tried to hug her but she stopped me.

"Don’t touch me! Nakakadiri kayo!" I could feel the anger in her every word and the pain in every drop of her tears.

"I know I made a mistake but I didn’t mean to do it, I was drunk." hindi ko na rin maiwasan na hindi maluha. I know my drunkenness is not enough reason.

"Lasing ka lang? Gan'on?!" she wiped away her tears but still could not stop them from continuing to flow.

"Sorry!... Sorry!... You know how much I love you." alam kong hindi mabubura n'on ang kasalanan ko, pero 'yon lang ang alam kong nararapat na sabihin.

"Sorry, pero kailangan ko munang lumayo sayo. Hindi lang ikaw ang pagod, ako rin pagod na." I stopped her a few times but I didn't stop her, she still left us.

That night, someone called me and told me that my wife, Ellora, had an accident. I called Carlo to come with me. Pinuntahan namin si Ellora sa hospital at sa kabutihang palad ay ligtas siya.

Two months later.

Ellora and I still haven't talked because she already found out na nagbunga ang pagkakamali namin ni Avi. Avi also apologized to Ellora and in order for Ellora to forgive us, hiniling niya na sa pagkapanganak ni Avi ibibigay niya sa amin ang bata.

We didn't even understand Ellora's decision but we agreed to what she wanted to happen.

Avi has agreed to protect her name and reputation.

Pumayag na rin ako para hindi masira ang aking pamilya, dahil na rin sa makakasama at mapapalaki ko ang aking anak sa aking tabi. Ngunit magkaganoon man ay ipinangako ko kay Avi na balang araw ay maipapakilala ko siya, na siya ang tunay na ina ng anak namin.