1.

LYSSANDRA  

I'm standing on the edge of my balcony, one foot hanging off the edge, the evening breeze blowing the smell of citrus flowers into my nose.

I'm considering stepping off the edge. It wouldn't take much, and really, no one would miss me. No one except my best-friend, Riley, and maybe, Cade.

I'm convinced this evening is the best day because this is the happiest I've been in a year, and I've always wanted to die happy.

I hear the bedroom door open, and I sigh. Another missed opportunity. I smell Riley’s perfume before I hear her voice. Riley’s voice is sultry, the voice of a vixen luring men to destruction in a 90’s movie.

“Lys? Where are you? Mrs. Nagia gave me your tea.” Riley says.

The smell of citrus fills my nose again, as I tilt the wine glass in clutching to my lips. I could still do it, just one step over the edge, and Riley would lay my dead body to rest, same as I did for my parents.

Instead, coward that I am, I chicken out again, and head into the room, sweeping the filmy curtains that separate the room from the balcony to the side.

“Oh there you are,” she says, walking over. Handing me the tea, she takes the glass of wine from me, and runs her eyes over my outfit. “You look gorgeous, as always.”

“Do I?” I turn to the mirror, running a critical eye over my own figure. Unlike Riley who is tall, willowy and more accurately gorgeous, I am…average.

Dark brown eyes, dark brown hair, and an average height. I don't disappear in the crowd, but no one notices me either.

Not even Cade, my husband. My heart squeezes, and I shove away all thoughts of Cade. Today is supposed to be happy. I am happy.

Thinking of how Cade changed his password again. Fifth time this month, didn't make me happy, because if there was a reason, he wasn’t giving it to me.

“Yes you do. And we're going to have fun tonight. We'll make them all eat their tongue. What do you say?”

I nod, feeling an increasing tightness tangling in my organs, strangling the air I inhale. “You don't think the dress is too much?”

Riley takes my hands, both of them. Her palms are so soft that for a second, I just seep her in.

She's the only good thing in my life. Her and Cade. “I think you're going to steal the show tonight. I mean you're receiving an award. Now where's Cade? We should leave.”

“Um…he has to work late. It'll be just us.” I say, looking away guiltily, as though it's my fault.

After all, isn't it my fault? I'm sure Cade would love me more if I wasn't so sickly. He used to love me, when I was fun, and healthy. When I wasn't just a workaholic, hiding away in my lab night after night.

The last year has been terrible for our marriage. I have thrown up in the morning, afternoon and evening. I have lost so much weight that a bag of bones probably weighs more.

Sometimes, I think Cade is disgusted to even step in the same room as me, but he has stayed loyal, and he still loves me. Better than most women can hope for.

He's the one beacon of light I can hold onto. After all I've already lost my whole family, and he's all the family I have left.

“The bastard. I wonder what you see in him.” Riley's eyes narrow as we walk to the door together. “You could have any man you wanted, any! And they'd be lucky to have you.”

I follow her to the door, sipping the tea so I don't have to think up a reply. I could argue that I'm the lucky one that Cade even stays married to me.

Nagia is in the living room, watching another rerun of her favourite show.

“Lys, dear. You're not taking the tea with you to your award event, are you? Let me take the cup from you.” Nagia takes the empty cup and the motherly look on her face has tears springing into my eyes. “Break a leg. Not literally of course.”

I nod, and follow Riley to the door, and outside to the car. The driver nods at us and drives us over to the event. Cade calls when we're half way there.

“Lyssandra?” His voice is a bass that always makes my core melt. Tonight is no different.

“Yes, Sir?” Cade prefers that I address him this way. Everyone calls me Lys, everyone except Cade. He's different, and that's another reason I love him. Our lives was perfect a year ago, before I got sick.

“Have you arrived? Remember you're not to do anything that disgraces my name, or the company’s image.” His tone is commanding without meaning to be, and I shrink into my chair.

I nod, though he can't see it of course. He means I'm not to throw up, or fall into a dizzying faint, or even soil my clothes. Yes, those are all symptoms of my disease.

The rot has been eating through my body for a year now. It does not allow me to investigate my father's death, find my missing sister, Nyra or even run my company which Cade is now running  on my behalf.

“Yes, Sir. I understand.” I close my eyes, my scalp burning. And I wonder vaguely, if I had slid my feet off the balcony and tumbled to the floor, would he have cared?

Would he have come running to my side for once? Would he love me in my death?

“Good. Are you and Riley still sleeping out tonight?” He asks finally.

“Yes, Sir. We will.”

“Perfect. Have a good night then.” He hesitates, and the tightness in my chest is worse before I hear the words I'm waiting for. “I love you.”

The calls ends, and Riley is glaring at me like she will freeze all the fires of all the hells with her gaze alone. “Jesus. I really don't know how you do it.”

I don't answer, because I am suffused with warmth. I love Cade, and he loves me. That is all that matters. He's why I keep working on the medicines, why I keep testing the serums, why I am receiving this award even.

He locked me in the lab for months until I had the serum ready, and when it was, it worked wonders.

At the event, I am so happy, suffused with warmth, that I don't falter once till the end of the event. I am so happy that three hours later, holding the heavy award in hand, I decide to go back home.

Cade is home every day by nine, he'll be home by now. And maybe he'll hold me and we can fall asleep together. We haven't done that in a while because I've been even more sickly lately.

But tonight? I am happy, and I want to be happy with Cade. Maybe he will even make love to me like he used to. It has been a year since he last touched me. My body is hungry for Cade.

I open the front door with my fingerprint, step into the house and I am hit with the worst smell.

It's the smell of sex. Hot, torrid sex. As though a sex club has been magically transported to my living room. I stop, stunned as the smell slaps me with every inhale.

Clapping my hands to turn the lights on, I am stunned by the most outrageous sight.

It's Cade. He's on the living room couch, a man whose face I can't see over him, and that man? His cock is sliding in and out of Cade’s ass.

His legs are spread wide, and my fingers tremble as the cock glides out, and then sinks all the way in.

The man has got one hand around Cade’s throat, choking him. His other hand? It's wrapped around Cade’s lips, muffling the sounds of their pleasure.

“Cade?” My voice is broken.

No, I think I am broken. Like hot glass left to crack in the cold. I am broken. My marriage has been an illusion.