Today is my birthday, my eighteenth birthday to be exact, it's suppose to be an amazing day but instead I am terrified at what today means. I am the only daughter of Jimmy Carbone the mob boss of the Carbone Family.
My family controls a good portion of the West Coast and one day my big brother Kalel will take over for my father. My dad used to be a loving father to us but when my mother died in a car accident ten years ago something changed in him.
He became power hungry and he built his vast empire with force. He wants more but instead of spending money or spilling blood he offers me in marriage to another mob bosses son, Dimitri Anello. Our marriage was arranged just six months after my mother's death.
My big brother is my best friend and he has always protected me. My father wanted my skin to be perfect so if I misbehaved he would take it out on my brother, even when it was an accident.
Kalel never showed any anger towards me after father took it out on him. Surprisingly, he never shut me out. If anything we grew closer and I learned how to avoid my father at all cost. Kalel is five years older than me but mentally he is so much wiser.
He shadowed dad every chance he got, learned the business ins and outs, learned how to have a strong poker face, and above all he was my protector. Whenever dad took his anger out on Kalel I was there hiding and waiting for dad to leave so I could help him.
He would lean on me as we would hobble down the hallway to his room which was right next to mine. Our bathroom was always stocked with an array of medical supplies for times just like this.
Kal had a mini fridge in his room that was always stocked with alcohol for him and sweet tea for me, he couldnt sleep without it but he was terrified to get drunk and leave me unprotected against our father.
On really bad nights I would stay in Kalel's room just to make sure he was safe, his room had deadbolts so I knew noone could get in.
Kalel was not happy with the arranged marriage our father made for me and in fact he tried to talk dad out of the idea. However, the last time he did it earned him a slash across his face resulting in a wicked scar from his hair line to half way down his cheek on his left side.
Since he wasn't able to convince our dad to end this ridiculousness he would teach me things in the evening. Kalel taught me everything from accounting, to the secrets of the mafia, how to shoot guns, throw knives and a little self defense.
He said if I was going to be forced to marry against my will than I was going to learn to protect myself. While our father thought women were to be seen and not heard and just a pretty face to hang on their husband's arm's.
Most people knew I was a mafia princess, not that I went around telling people that because honestly I was ashamed. People usually just wanted to know me because of who my family was.
Of course there were those that were children of the men in my father's organization that would always flock around me. Those people I had no choice but to put on a poker face and be the best me possible, heaven for bid something gets back to my father.
I kept myself busy after school with different activities. Everything from dance, to etiquette classes, to cooking classes and sports every season. However the lessons that I learned from Kalel were my favorite.
I would hang on every story he would tell me and sometimes I would be so interested in something that the very next day I would have a new book sitting on my bed.
It is all thanks to Kal that I have a small library in my room. I wonder if my new husband will let me take them with me because I would be extremely sad to leave all of these behind.
My best friend Miranda knows me almost as good as my brother. Of course a few details needed to be altered due to the fact that no outsider could know about mafia business.
Not that I actually knew anything about what our family did outside of what Kal has told me and I know that he keeps the more horrible side of our family as far away from me as possible.
However when it came to Miranda she knew as close to the truth as I could get. Except for today, she believes that I love Dimitri and she thinks that we grew up knowing each other through our families.
She has no idea that this whole thing is arranged and that I want nothing more than to run away. I need to ask Kal if I can talk to her because even though he has given me advice there are some things only another woman can give advice on.
Not to say that Miranda was a loose woman but she had her fun and I envied her for that. For I am a virgin, untouched in every way and that fact absolutely terrifies me. I am not terrified that I am a virgin but more so that the man I am marrying today means nothing to me and I am not in love with him.
I look over at the clock and realize that I was only asleep for a couple of hours before waking up. I spent most of the night crying in Kalel's room. I didn't want to make him upset by crying in front of him but I just couldn't be alone.
So he let me crawl into his bed and cry until I couldn't cry anymore all the while he is sitting in his chair by the fireplace sipping on a whiskey. I know he is struggling with the events that are taking place today but he is also going to be there for me every step of the way.
My mind is going a million miles an hour on how things will happen but I need to try and sleep for a few more hours if possible.
I wake to a soft knock on my door, looking at the clock it's eight o'clock, "Come in" I say. My brother peaks his head in "Hey princess it's that time." I sit up and the tears start flowing down my face uncontrollably.
He closes the door and comes to sit on my bed wrapping me in a big bear hug. "Shh, I know, it's going to be okay. Some how some way we will get through this," he says gently. I'm barley hanging on by a thread as it is, "I know Kal, we have to survive this nightmare one day at a time." His hold on me gets a little tighter telling me he understands.
"Hey Kal, Can I ask you a question?" I say as I lean back so i can look him in the face. "Sure princess, ask anything you want." he says. 'Deep breath, you can do this Elaine it's just Kalel' I think to myself.
"Can I tell Miranda all of the details about today because honestly I'm going to need a woman's opinion and advice on certain things that even you can't help me with," I blurt out as fast as I can while I feel my courage slip as the blush creeps onto my face.
He looks at my face seeing that I really need this one request approved, sighing he says "Just Miranda, and you need to swear her to secrecy." "Oh thank you so much Kal you have no idea how happy you made me!" I say throwing my arms around his neck.
No sooner than I finish my sentence Miranda is texting me telling me she if five minutes away. "Kal can you please ask Anton to meet Miranda outside and bring her up here to my room," I ask. Anton is our childhood friend who happens to be Kalel's second. Honestlyhe is more of a brother than not.
"Sure princess, anything else?" he says chuckling a little as he pulls his phone out. I laugh slightly and ask "Can you help me escape?" I instantly regret saying that as I look at his face, his entire body tenses and he gives me a sad look. "I was just teasing Kal, I'm sorry. No I don't need anything else just you, Anton and Miranda and my day will be perfect. "
He stands up making his way towards my door when he stops and turn towards me, "I might not be able to help you escape today but one day I will I promise." I feel my heart skip a beat because I believe every word of what he said but I would never escape because I could not live with myself if either one of them got hurt trying to save me.
'Alright put your game face on you don't want to alarm Miranda with your river of tears.' I get up and put my robe on while I make my way to the fireplace trying to think of how to tell Miranda everything but also making sure she stays safe.
This is going to be disastrous no matter what I say and I'm not sure who is going to be more angry at the end of this conversation. No sooner than I sit does my door swing open. Revealing my best friend and brother standing right behind her.
"Happy Birthday bestie!! Are you ready to be married?!" Miranda practically yells as she runs in to give me a hug. I embrace her in a bear hug letting her know I really needed her right now, it was our little code when we were in school and I really needed to talk but too many people were around.
Just as the boys closed the door she leans back with her hands still on my shoulders, "Whats wrong?" she's says. I look at Kalel, this is the last chance he has to tell me no but he tips his head up telling me to go ahead.
With a deep breath I motion to the chair behind her "We should sit down, this is going to be a big shock. I'm going to need you to stay calm and not over react to what I'm about to say." She looks me in the eyes and some part of her must understand the seriousness in my voice.
Looking between my brothers and me I can see her body is tensing with the rage she seems to have before I've even told her the news.
"Fine I will stay calm though I can tell I'm not going to like whatever you're about to say" she says through gritted teeth. Kalel brings us some water and sits beside me, I lean into him knowing what I'm about to tell her is just as upsetting to him as it is me. While Anton sits beside her handing her a glass of water was well.
Taking a deep breath I sit up straight, " Miranda you know that we have been best friends since kindergarten and we have been through so many ups and downs. You know that I am a mafia princess though it's not something I'm proud of. There have been stories I have told you over the years that were not whole truths simply because of who my family is, I've never wanted to put you in harms way-"
"El what are you trying to tell me?" she interrupts me as she is now sitting on the edge of her seat leaning forward with a hand on my knee. 'Ugh this was so much easier in my mind' I think to myself.
"Obviously I am getting married today," she shakes her head as I continue, "but I do not love Dimitri and my marriage is an arranged marriage. Honestly I've only met him a handful of times and we've barely even spoken to each other."
Miranda puts her hand up for a second trying to process what I just said, I can see the wheels in her brain start turning. She stands up walking towards the fireplace and starts to pace. I glance at Kal and Anton silently asking him what should I do and they just shake their heads.
"How long ago was this arrangement made?" she says sharply. "Ten years ago " I whisper while fidgeting with my fingers. She stops abruptly and looks at me with her jaw practically hitting the floor, "Ten years ago!" she whisper yells at me. She then turns her anger to my brothers, "I'm assuming you two knew about this the whole time? Why the hell haven't you guys stopped this?!"
Kalel looks up at her not even shocked by her anger "Of course I've known-" "Than why the fuck is she still getting married? Why haven't you kicked this guys ass yet and tell him to stay away from your sister?" she says cutting him off and every word sounding angrier than the one before.
I feel Kal tense and I see his anger is coming to the surface because he has tried everything to put an end to this and has failed. I know he thinks that he has failed me but I know he has nothing to do with what is happening today.
Before either one of them can speak I stand up and look at her, "Please Miranda, come and sit down and we will answer any questions you have. I will ask you to be patient and not get angry at Kal or Anton. I love the three of you and I can't get through today without you guys."
She looks at me as though I've grown a second head but she takes a deep breath and comes to sit back down in front of me. "Alright I'm ready" she says sitting back in the chair.
"Well after our mom died dad became greedy in expanding his territory and taking things by force. A family that is South of his territory is extremely powerful and instead of going to war against each other they made a deal. Dimitri is an only child and my father already has a son to take over for him," as I look at Kalel giving him a small smile, "they both had a sit down and agreed to the marriage as an alliance. With our marriage the entire West Coast will be controlled by our two families. My power hungry father couldn't turn down the offer. As soon as Kalel knew about it he has tried to convince dad to break the arrangement saying that we had enough territory and that they could make an alliance one boss to the other. He got that scar on his face from the last time he tried to convince our father. Of course Anton couldn't do much without getting himself killed so he has been our rock through all of this."
I look to Anton seeing his anger coming off of him in waves. His whole body is shaking and his eyes are glistening. When he looks at me I smile at him, he knows my smiles are genuine and that I don't blame him in any way. He takes a deep breath and leans back looking up at the ceiling.
"Oh El, why didn't you say something sooner! What can we even do at this point?" she sounds so hurt and angry right now.
I sit up straight putting on my best poker face "You are going to help me get ready for my wedding while giving me advice as to," embarrassingly I look between my brothers and then back to Miranda, "what is expected of me in regards to my wifely duties. "
I know my face a bright red as I hide it in my hands. Anton is the first to stand clapping his hands together, "And that is our que to leave you ladies to do," he pauses as if he isnt sure what to say. To which Kal stands up,"You ladies get ready and let us know when you're ready."
"Oh! Um sure I can help you with that but are you sure you want to do this? Because I will sneak you out of here and we will run away!" her eyes searching mine for the answer I know she wants. Shaking my head, "I must go through with the marriage, I don't want innocent people dying for me and I do not want Kalel or Anton to suffer any more than they already has on my behalf. So I will get ready and put my best self forward and pray to God that Dimitri is kind to me."
"Kal it's getting a little late, I need to start getting ready. I'll have Miranda come and get you when I'm ready to come down," I stand up giving him the biggest hug I can muster, "I love you big brother!"
His hug speaks volumes to me, "I love you too, I'll be in my room." Anton steps forward and gives me a hug as well, "I love you," he whispers. "I love you too," i say gently as i squeeze him. Watching their retreating forms is depressing, they look utterly defeated.
Turning back to Miranda, I clear my throat, "Alright bestie let's make me look like the perfect bride my father expects me to be." She gives a half hearted smile as she bows and says, "Whatever the princess desires."
We both start laughing uncontrollably until our sides hurt and tears start to come down. "Alright, alright there will be no crying on your wedding day! Even if this isn't what you want we will not show those monsters any weakness. You will go down with your head standing tall." she commands.
"Yes ma'am!" as I fake salute her. We head for the bathroom to start the prep work for, well I'm not exactly sure what all that is going to be but I trust my bestie.
Two hours later we emerge with steam pouring out into my bedroom. Who knew there was so much to pluck, shave and wax?! Truly it was astonishing just how much "prep" work went into getting ones self ready for "sexy time" as Miranda put it.
Our conversation about my wifely duties was a little intimidating. I mean even though I'm a virgin I am not totally clueless but having someone I know tell me what to expect definitely helped me to calm my nerves ever so slightly.
To be honest though I am nervous about the pain during the first time and I am worried if Dimitri will be gentle with me like a lover would be. Miranda says to reach out after the first time and she will give me a few suggestions on what I could do next time.
I love her so much, she is more like a sister to me which is going to make leaving so much harder. I wish I didn't have to go but since I have no choice I wish I could take her with me. Maybe I could bring it up to Dimitri, see if she could come some time.
Getting dressed seems to be just as big of a challenge as prepping. From the beautiful white lingerie, to my matching stockings, to the corset, to my beautiful big bell dress, the white gloves, the white short healed shoes and finally my tiara with the veil. Everything is a shade of white, which is scary because now I will have to be extra careful as to not get anything on my me.
Even though I have taken etiquette classes I am still very clumsy and I am not very graceful either. Also what monster created corsets and why in the world did women agree to wear such contraptions this thing is going to be the death of me today.
Miranda helped me put my hair in a half up half down style and applied a very light natural looking makeup. Once my tiara and veil are in place she takes a step back so she can fully see me and she instantly starts to cry.
I turn around and I am stunned at the person looking back at me, I don't even recognize myself. "Miranda, you've outdone yourself! Thank you so much!" I'm trying desperately not to cry, I don't want to ruin all of her hard work.
"You look stunning El, any man would be lucky to have you," as she is talking she turns me around so she can look me in the eyes, "if for any reason he doesn't treat you right you call me and I will personally come kick his ass and steal you away!" "I know you will! I love you Miranda!" I say while we hug each other one last time before I lose all my courage.
"Can you please go get them, we can not wait any longer otherwise someone will come looking for us." I ask Miranda just as she finishes getting dressed. "You look gorgeous!" I say as I turn to look at her.
She looks over at me, "We do look like some pretty hot bitches don't we?" We both burst into another laughing fit, even though today is not what I want I will not let anyone bring me down.
She walks out to go get the boys and now my nerves hit me like a freight train, I start pacing my floor worried about what is going to happen in the next few hours. I stop and look up at my brothers as they walk in, "You two look handsome, better be careful or you'll be the next ones down the aisle."
They both shake their head laughing, "I won't be doing that any time soon but you look absolutely stunning El," Kalel says. While Anton looks at M, "You clean up good too Miranda." I scowl at him to be nice to her and he just shrugs his shoulders.
They both turn to me, "You ready sis?" Kalel asks me. I can tell in all of their faces just how sad and angry they all are and it truly breaks me heart. I put the biggest smile on my face as I go to take Kalel's arm "I was born ready bro."
Thank God I'm holding on to Kal because as we step out of my room my entire body feels as though it's going to collapse from my nerves alone. Downstairs is bustling between all of the guests that are mingling and the staff that is running around.
We all stand at the top of the stairs just taking everything in when suddenly our fathers booming voice catches our attention and that of most everyone else in the house.
"There is my beautiful daughter!" 'Oh this is going to be a horrible disaster, stay calm, breath, hold on to Kalel and keep Miranda and Anton close at all times.' I think to myself.
I look at Kal, "I guess it's now or never," I whisper. "I'm good with never, we can turn around and I'll tell everyone to fuck off back to where they came from," Kal says through gritted teeth. "I agree with that plan," Miranda perks up beside me. To which Anton says, "Ditto sis."
"Guys we can't go backwards only forward. Let's go be our best selves and try to stay positive." "As you wish," Kalel says as he turns to me and gently pulls my veil over my face before we start down the stairs towards the festivities. Miranda's arm linked in with Antons as they walk in front of us.
