Chapter 4- In Too Deep

"Kye. Is he your... boyfriend?" Thalia asked as we sat in the music room the next day. It seemed to be the only time we could spend together without the others around. I did love them all but sometimes it was too much. I nodded, pulling out the notes we'd made last time.

"You look happy together." I looked up at her, narrowing my eyes,

"Yeah. I guess we do." You could tell she was unnerved by this, but she didn't say anything as I suggested a couple of things to add to the song.

"What about we switch the chords in the chorus, so its more interesting…?" I said, glancing up at her but she seemed so far away, staring out of the small window at the back of the room. She bit her lip slightly, making my heart flutter in my chest, "Thalia?" I asked and she immediately turned to me.

"Sorry…" She murmured, I've got a lot on my mind…”

"You wanna talk about it? I said, concerned, placing the guitar beside me.

"No, Im okay…" She said quietly, only making me even more worried.

"Sure?" I asked and she just nodded.

"This always makes me a little happier anyway…" She said, almost inaudibly.

"Same…" I said in response, causing her to look up at me in surprise, "I meant… um… like music…" I stammered to which she just bites her lip.

"Not just the music…" She murmured softly causing my breath to catch. Hastily, I grabbed the guitar again and looked down at it, to distract myself.

"I think we should switch it to F#m, C#m, E, A… in the chorus I mean… so…" I played the chords, improvising a strumming pattern. When I looked up, she was smiling slightly, "What?" I asked slowly.

"That was F#m, E, A, C#m…" She said grinning,"Nervous?" I was speechless, how had I played the wrong chords?

"Erm… accident…" I stammered which only made her smile brighter.

"Don't worry it'll be our secret…" I just looked up at her, my mouth hanging open. Her smile was contagious, it was the kind of grin that you saw and just couldn't help but be happy that such a bright light like her exists. And in that moment, I couldn't help but smile. So, there we were, just smiling at each other and no words needed to be said.

Suddenly a face poked its way into the room,

"How are you girls getting on?" Mr Woods began before looking at both of our faces, “What's so funny? Do have something in my teeth?"

"No, sir… just something…" Thalia said confidently, god how I wished I had half the confidence that she did.

"Okay…?" Mr Woods said sceptically, narrowing his eyes at the two of us, "I take that things are going well?" We nodded coincidingly.

"Nice… well good luck!" Our teacher cried as he shut the door, leaving us to continue our work. As the abrupt visit was cut short, both of us burst out into laughter.

***

It was that week I finally started to notice it. Notice how much attention I paid to the way she smiled and the way she'd bite the end of her pencil when she was confused or in deep thought. I noticed she always came into school looking a little down, so I'd always find a way to cheer her up. I never asked what was going on- it wasn't my place to. I just tried to make her feel better. I noticed the way her lips move when she speaks and how regularly she reaches to brush her hair from her face. I started trying to resist the urge to reach and tuck it behind her ear myself.

Kye still hadn't asked about that night and I had a feeling it was coming soon. I also noticed that I was spending way less time with him. Thalia had been coming to my house after school to work on the song. To be completely honest, I think she was just glad not to have to go back home straight away. My suspicions began to grow, and I swore every time I saw her that I'd ask her, but the opportunity just never seemed to appear. The week after, May had organised a 'Girl's Weekend' where we'd spend Saturday night at her house and go shopping at the local mall on Sunday. All three of us were told to clear our schedules because to put it in May's words 'We absolutely cannot put this off any longer'.

And it had to be the day before Kye buckled up the courage and asked me. It was in the morning before school had started. We were both sat under the shade of the tree out the front of the entrance, him with his arms around me.

"Why is it so difficult for you?" he'd asked in a hushed tone. I looked up at him confused since this had been the last thing I was expecting.

"What?" I asked, yawning a little.

"Love. I get you want time to think but at least tell me what’s going on in that head of yours." And all of a sudden, the blade of grass by my foot became super interesting.

"Mel, come on."

I look up shyly, not quite sure what to say,

"I guess… I don't really know what love is… I'm just, scared…"

"Scared of what?" He asked, looking up at me with so much hope. I knew that I was going to feel really bad after I trampled all over it.

"Honestly… I'm still trying to figure that out," I said lightly. His body slumped a little beside mine and a nudged him with my shoulder.

"Kye, you are literally the only serious boyfriend I've ever had. I don't wanna screw that up." It was the half-truth. I mean, he was pretty much the first boyfriend I'd ever had, but in the back of my mind, I knew the real reason. A reason I was scared to even admit to myself.

Kye just nodded and kissing me lightly, got up and offered me a hand. I grabbed it leaping up, slinging my arm around his shoulder and letting him guide me into the school. I looked up at him at that moment. At his sharp jawline and piercing eyes. I remember when he first invited me out with him, I couldn't believe that a boy actually wanted to go on a date with me, let alone one who looks like this. Have I ever deserved him? At first, it was like something from a film- too good to be true. I had convinced myself it wouldn't last. Then it did. Since then it had almost felt like I had been stuck in this endless circle with him. And at this point, I was still trying to figure out if that was a good or bad thing.