Smile for the photo, daughter!Eeeee, uhul!!!!"Now blow out the candle! That's it!!!!“Hahaha, how beautiful, êeeee”Clara's 1st birthday party was memorable, at a luxury party house in Copacabana. There were almost two hundred guests, a meeting that mixed people from various social circles of mine and Lucas. Friends from Petrópolis, from the time of the shelter, professional colleagues at the police station, friends from work of Linda, Claudia, Agatha, colleagues from Lucas's hospital and now also some colleagues from the college where Lucas started to teach, after completing his master's degree.Clara really looked like a princess. Plump, with curly hair as black as mine, she ran back and forth, delighting everyone in the room. She walked with ten months. She spoke her first word at eight. Early all life. It was the reason we smile daily amid so many bad circumstances, like the pandemic.It was early to even be born. When I was eight months pregnant and only a week into maternity
The light that comes in through a beam from the window illuminates the entire room and makes me wake up even before the alarm I set.Although I like to sleep late, I don't complain, today is a completely unusual day and certainly my anxiety wouldn't let me sleep for more than four hours.I check my phone, this time no new messages. I randomly look for some clothes in the small chest of drawers and in a few minutes I'm ready to go back to the hospital.Before I go through reception, my cell phone rings."Hi, dad... Yes, yes, I'm fine. Yeah… Okay, no need to worry. Yeah, I'm here at the hospital. Yeah, dad, he's my friend, but it's okay now. I'm going to visit him now, okay? Call you later. Ok… ok, a kiss, dad!When I hang up, I see Loretta walking towards me. Her furrowed face, full of purple circles under her eyes, betrays that she had an unrewarding night's sleep." How are you, babe? - I try to make her positive, somehow cheer her up with my words and tone of voice." Tired, but wit
" And your diary? Are you still writing? - Loretta wanted to know, after a while." More than ever! It's definitely the therapy I've found. But I'm changing it up with reading some books… I've borrowed two from him."His… Max Anthon?" Himself." Wow, must be that very erudite literature. - Loretta wrinkles her nose." That's where you're wrong! They are contemporary. Very current, I would say. Want to borrow one to distract your mind for those hours?" And will you lend a book that is borrowed?" What about it? He doesn't care." It seems that you are getting to know him very well... - Loretta pins again." Choose. This one or this one? - I take the books out of the bag and show them to her." That cover won me over. - Loretta chooses The Whore's Secret." It's wonderful. I devoured the first few chapters..."Thank you for everything you do for me. - Loretta activates her sweet version again to thank me.And speaking of sweets, I feel like continuing to read Doce Ana and I'm taking a
"When I left the coordinator's office, my face burned with a mixture of anguish and anger. I wanted to be able to do everything in my power, but that meant I couldn't do anything. And nothing worse than impotence for a mother ." I managed to talk to Lucas, Ana. He's coming here. - Linda tells me as soon as the door opens.A small group now also gathers on the second floor of the school. All we need the least are onlookers invading the enclosure. The police station had already been notified of the case, it would be a matter of minutes before the responsible personnel arrived.But time passed differently for me. I knew that every second that passed would be a second less without being with my daughter, feeling her, loving her. I wasn't able to think straight, the information was looping through my mind. I definitely couldn't be officially involved in the case.There, I was just a mother crying out for justice and hoping that they would find their offspring as soon as possible. Alive. A
"I read it aloud, voice shaking, tears wanting to be released once more.“Dear Anne,I know I promised to disappear from your life. I know I promised so much over the time we stayed together and even after. After you helped me, after you were by my side even though I didn't deserve it. I know well, I know all this. But something greater impels me to write to you. Something I promised so much not to do, something I swore to myself I wouldn't do. I want to make you a request. Or rather, I need to. I need to appeal to you. But first I need to tell you why I'm asking you this. The reason why I'll put aside any and all shame, yes, I've turned into an accomplished poker face. Well, the beginning of my story you already know. So many mishaps of my adolescence and youth, I believe you also remember and in detail. But there's a phase, a very specific phase of my childhood, that I haven't told you about yet. I don't think I told anyone. Not for Lorenzo, not for my parents. When I turned five,
Loretta's words about "keeping up with the other teacher" hit home with me.In my head, it was just a kiss.And many inconvenient and unanswered messages afterwards.So that was it. It was time to answer Stephen Welsh."Any forecast of the arrival of Peter's parents? - I ask Loretta after a while." Just a few more hours. It feels like I've been living in this hospital for years." Do you want to go to the barracks and rest? You need to take a shower, change your clothes… I'll let you know if there's anything new."Any news, please." Any news like him shaking my hand again, leave it."Seriously, Aria!"Okay, I'm kidding. And the book, are you enjoying it?" Yes, I managed to distract myself. Not as much as you, who fell asleep, but I will continue reading, if you don't mind."Of course! I'll finish Doce Ana and then we can switch." Combined.***As soon as Loretta leaves, I pick up my phone to search through the history for messages from Stephen. I remember deleting the previous one
“Nothing seemed to make sense so far. As I tried to piece together an improbable puzzle in my mind, the more my head throbbed with pain. It was almost impossible to attach any meaning to those riddles. Marks and mysteries, the title itself was already a riddle. I, who had gradually climbed to better positions in my career in the police, now felt like an ugly duckling and incapable of solving an apparently simple investigation. In fact, only apparently, because deep down, that race to find some meaning seemed to have no end.Lucas returned to the room once he had finished his reports."Do you want something, love? - He asks, as soon as he opens the door.I thought about answering him “yes, my daughter back in my arms”, but in a way I would also be cruel to him. Lucas was the best father Clara could have. Responsible, present and very owl. He stifled his own despair to make me as stable as possible. That was clear, I saw it, but unfortunately I never managed to reciprocate. I was a life
I close the book, take off my glasses and run my fingers over my eyes in an attempt to keep myself awake. By the time I was immersed in reading, Stephen must be arriving, so I walk to the reception to wait for him.Before that, I pass in front of the room where Peter is still hospitalized. The nurse waves at me and smiles, as if to say “everything is fine, but everything is the same around here”.My stomach turns with hunger. The last thing I had was the coffee brought by Loretta.By God, with so much going on, I'm even forgetting to eat.I'm so bored that I distract myself by looking at the LED panel located on one side of the reception desk. The hospital reports change every five minutes. I told."Sorry I'm late.A firm hand touches my shoulder and I react by turning immediately, facing Stephen's figure." Hey." Nice book. Do you understand the metaphor yet? - He asks, directly." So there's a metaphor. - I say, smiling, a little embarrassed." Yes, an excellent metaphor. That's wh