Find My Mate

Chapter 5

Draven’s POV

I should feel relieved, that was what I kept telling myself as I stood alone in my study.

Nyra was gone, the problem was gone, the scandal was gone, the weakness was gone.

So why did it feel like I couldn’t breathe?

I then gripped the edge of my desk and stared at the same door she walked through last night.

The same door where she stood with tears in her eyes and asked me if I really believed she would poison Calista.

My jaw tightened and I pushed the thought away, it changed nothing.

She was found with the poison, she was seen near Calista’s chamber, the evidence was there, everything pointed to her.

So why did my wolf keep pacing inside me like something was wrong?

I then dragged a hand through my hair and walked toward the window.

Outside, the pack grounds slept under moonlight, peaceful and still, everything should be calm now but my chest felt tight and my mind kept replaying her face at the ceremony.

The shock, the pains and the way she looked at me when the Moon Goddess revealed the bond, like I had become her whole world and then shattered it in the same breath.

Then the scream she let out when I rejected her, that sound still wouldn’t leave my head.

Then a knock came at the door.

“Enter.”

Beta Ronan stepped inside and he studied my face for a second, then said carefully, “You haven’t rested.”

“I didn’t ask for your concern.”

His mouth tightened, but he said nothing to that.

Good.

I did not have the patience tonight.

“What is it?” I asked and Ronan hesitated.

Then, “Calista is asking for you.”

I turned away. “I’m busy.”

He blinked. “Busy?”

My voice sharpened. “Did I stutter?”

“No, Alpha.”

He then bowed his head slightly, but he did not leave and that annoyed me.

“What now?”

Ronan exhaled. “You’ve been standing in this room for hours.”

I glared at him. “And?”

“And this isn’t like you.”

I laughed bitterly. “Nothing about tonight is like me.”

That made him go silent and for a moment, neither of us spoke and then I asked, before I could stop myself, “The border guards?”

Ronan frowned. “What about them?”

“When they threw her out,” I said, keeping my voice flat, “did they report anything unusual?”

His eyes narrowed just a little.

“Why?”

I felt my wolf stir again, annoyed, restless and violent and my fists clenched.

“Just answer me.”

“No,” Ronan said slowly. “They said she crossed the southern line alone.”

“Alone.”

The word hit harder than it should and I pictured Nyra stumbling into the forest, still shaking from the rejection, too weak to stand properly.

Something ugly twisted in my chest and I crushed it down at once.

“She’ll survive,” I muttered and Ronan said nothing and that silence said too much.

I looked at him sharply. “What?”

He hesitated again and then said, “The southern forest is rogue territory at night.”

My jaw hardened.

“She knows how to survive.”

Did I even believe that?

Ronan watched me for a long moment and then, very carefully, he said, “Do you want me to send trackers?”

I was supposed to say no, I was supposed to tell him it didn’t matter, that Nyra was banished, that she was no longer my concern, that I had done what needed to be done.

But instead, the words came out before I could stop them.

“Send them.”

Ronan’s eyes flickered with surprise and I added quickly, “Quietly. No one hears about this.”

He nodded once. “Understood.”

“And Ronan,” I said and he paused at the door.

“If she is alive…” My throat tightens for a second. “Bring her back.”

He studied me, then bowed his head again.

“Yes, Alpha.”

When he left, I sank into my chair and stared at nothing.

“Alive”

The word kept echoing in my head, because I did not know why it mattered so much.

I rejected her, I cast her out, so why did the thought of her lying hurt somewhere in that forest made my chest felt like it was being crushed?

I then slammed my fist into the desk, wood cracked beneath my hand.

“Damn it.”

My wolf growled inside me, it had not stopped since the ceremony, since the bond was revealed, since I severed it.

The rejection should have freed us both, it should have ended this madness.

So why did it feel like I tore off my own skin instead?

The door opened again near dawn and Ronan walked in fast this time.

One look at his face, and my body went rigid.

“What happened?”

His jaw was tight. “We found traces.”

I stood immediately. “Show me.”

….

The southern forest smelt like blood and the moment I stepped into the clearing, my wolf surged so hard inside me that I nearly bare my teeth.

Ronan said something behind me, but I barely hear him, all I saw was the scene in front of me.

Blood on the ground, too much blood, bodies, dead rogues, five of them and their throats torn out, their chests ripped open and my eyes narrowed.

This was not normal wolf work, this was savage, violent and personal.

Then I crouched near one of the bodies and touched the blood, still fresh enough and my pulse started ringing.

“Where is she?” I demanded and Ronan stepped closer. “We didn’t find a body.”

I snapped my head toward him. “Then keep looking.”

He then exchanged a glance with one of the trackers and that look made my temper rise instantly.

“What?”

One of the trackers stepped forward slowly, he was young, too young to look this nervous.

“Alpha…”

He held something out, a torn piece of cloth and my breath caught, it was Nyra’s scarf.

I knew it immediately, she wore it all winter.

The same pale scarf she once forgot in my room, and I had my servant return it to her because she kept catching fevers.

Now it was ripped, stained with blood and something inside me went still.

“No.”

The tracker lowered his gaze. “We found it near the blood trail.”

Another tracker added quietly, “There was too much blood, Alpha.”

My hands moved into fists.

“No.”

Ronan stepped forward. “Draven…”

I turned to him sharply and he rarely used my name and that alone told me how serious this was.

“We searched the area,” he said carefully. “No body, no scent trail beyond this point, only blood and signs of struggle.”

My heart rang harder. No scent trail?

That was impossible…unless…unless something carried her or something killed her and dragged her away.

My wolf erupted so violently inside me that I nearly lost control.

“No.”

Ronan’s face hardened. “We have to consider the possibility that she may be dead.”

Something in me snapped and I roared so loudly the trees shook with it.

“She is not dead!”

The trackers flinched backward instantly, birds burst from the trees and even Ronan went still.

My chest rose and fell hard and my hands shook with rage, with denial and with something I did not want to name.

“She is not dead,” I repeated, and it was lower this time, but far more dangerous and no one dared answer.

I then turned back to the blood on the ground and my mind started racing.

Nyra could not have killed five rogues in her state.

Impossible and yet their bodies were here, which meant something happened, something no one understood yet.

I then stared at the torn scarf in my hand, a memory hit me without warning and Nyra stood in the snow two winters ago, wrapping this same scarf around her neck while smiling at me like I had hung the moon.

That look in her eyes, that stupid, loyal, painful love.

My jaw clenched so hard it hurts. No. No, this was not over.

I then rose to my full height and turned to my men.

“Search every inch of this forest.”

Ronan nodded once and I kept going.

“Check every rogue den, every cave, every border path. I want scouts on every route leading out of the southern woods.”

“Yes, Alpha.”

“If she is breathing,” I said, my voice dark and absolute, “you will find her.”

The men bowed their heads at once and I looked back toward the blood-stained ground one last time.

Then I made myself a promise.

I will bring Nyra back.

No matter where she was.

No matter who took her.

No matter what I had to destroy to do it.

And when I found out who had my mate now…

blood would flow.