85

85

T H E A

I couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.

Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.

So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.

I hated it.

I hated it so much I hate myself too.

I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath.

"Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?"

"Mommy I had a n