Chapter 14

~ LENA ~

Nathan’s bedroom seemed different tonight. Inside, I felt more like an intruder and less like the happily wedded bride I was supposed to be.

It was dark outside, and the curtains were drawn. There was no sunlight streaming in through the large windows. No soft afternoon glow warming the polished floors. Only the soft lights of the bedroom were on, casting everything in a muted golden haze.

It made the room feel smaller somehow. It was quieter. Intimate. Tense. Almost as if it was also holding its breath in anticipation of what was about to happen tonight.

As I walked in, I noticed the bottle of wine in a silver ice bucket with two wine glasses beside it on the nightstand. It sat there, chilling, just waiting to be popped.

I stared at it for a minute, trying to imagine how the rest of the night would go once Nathan came in. Would we sit on the edge of the bed, laughing softly, sipping from those glasses while talking about the wedding? Would he ease into it gently? Or would he waste no time in taking my clothes off?

The thought made my cheeks heat instantly. I drew my eyes away from it and walked toward the mirror. For a long moment, I just stood there looking at myself.

I was still in my wedding dress. It felt heavier now. The layers of ivory tulle flowed around my feet, trailing behind me.

The corset bodice pressed against my ribs almost too tightly. It felt suffocating, as if it had suddenly become aware that the ceremony was over.

Mrs. Blackwood.

The title pressed against my chest, heavier than the corset. I lifted my hand and brushed my fingers lightly over the cool surface of the mirror, as if I were touching someone else’s reflection. A woman who belonged here. A woman who had always lived in this world. Not an ordinary secretary from a poor family who had spent most of her life struggling to survive.

“This is who you are now,” I whispered to myself.

But even as the words left my mouth, they felt foreign on my tongue. Still, I knew I had to start getting used to being Kimberly, because this was only the beginning.

The real test was this right here—becoming his wife, living under the same roof, sharing the same bed.

God help me.

I exhaled a shaky breath just thinking about it.

Up close, I could see the exhaustion in my face, the faint shadows beneath my eyes. I could feel the ache in my jaw from smiling for hours. My shoulders hurt from holding myself upright all day.

Nathan was downstairs seeing to something about the staff. He would be back soon. Any minute now, I reminded myself.

I closed my eyes as I tried to imagine it—the moment he would walk through that door, the look in his eyes.

My body trembled just thinking about it. Even before he touched me, I was already trembling.

Was it anticipation? Fear? Desire?

I didn’t know. Maybe it was all three tangled together so tightly that I couldn’t tell which one it was.

This was going to be my first time. I had never imagined that it would be like this. In a mansion. In a bed that probably cost more than everything I had owned in my entire life combined. And with a man I barely knew.

A man who still believed I was someone else.

I was a virgin. And tonight, I was going to lose that.

How would it feel? Would it hurt? Would he know that I wasn’t her? Would there be something in my reaction—in the way my body responded—that would give me away?

The thought sent a sharper wave of fear through me.

But then another thought slipped in, easing the fear a little. Kimberly and Nathan had never been intimate before. Which meant, if Kimberly had truly been standing here tonight, she would have been just as inexperienced. Perhaps, just as nervous too.

I exhaled in relief. For now, the lie was working in my favor. It was as if the universe had aligned this one small detail to make this deception possible.

Still, though, I felt exposed. I felt like I was standing at the edge of something irreversible. Something that would change me forever. Something that was going to hurt me in the end.

I swallowed and reached for the zipper at the back of my dress. Nathan would be back soon. I had to take a shower, wash off the makeup, the sweat. I needed to slip into something more comfortable. If I was going to face what came next, at least I could do it without the dress cutting off my oxygen.

I glanced towards the adjoining doors. There were two of them. One led to the bathroom, and the other opened into a huge walk-in closet, which I hadn’t yet explored.

Ten minutes alone. That was all I needed. Just ten minutes to shower, to breathe, to prepare myself for—

The bedroom door opened softly behind me before I could finish the thought.