Before You Go

Watching her leave was the hardest thing I've ever done in the twenty five years of my fucking life. I didn't want to let her go, but I had no choice, mum said she would disown me if I didn't get rid of her. Ria! God, what have I done. I sat on the chair and rubbed my hand through my face, as my thoughts surfaced.I just chased away the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am such an idiot! I need to go get her back, I can't live without her, I–My thoughts were caught off from the blaring of my ringtone. I looked at the screen and groaned. "Mum," I said as I answered."Have you gotten rid of that trash?" She asked skipping any introductory greetings. I ground my teeth when she referred to Ria as trash."She isn't trash mum," I defended. "I... I love-" she cut me off with a scoff."What? You love her?" She asked and I hinted distaste with her words."I do mum," I agreed. "She is–was– the best thing that has ever happened to me." I can't lose her, no, I won't lose her. I am going

Love is a game– not the inside or interior kind like: chess, checkers or minesweeper, no, it's the exterior, outdoorsy one like: football, soccer, and tennis. It is also like a door. You never know what you're getting into as you open the door, you never know what's on the other side. That's what love is. I watched Zack as he answered his mother's call and I envied him. He tried to sound tough and annoyed, but the love was heard in his voice, the way his body moved, and the way his eyes softened. Looking at him you could tell that he loves his mum, even with the occasional eye roll.A sad smile came to my face as I turned from him and blinked rapidly to stop the tear that wanted to flow.This was the feeling I've always wanted: to be loved, to be held close, to have someone to complain to, and to be spoken softly to.I remember little from when my parents were still alive, mostly from my mum, what and how it felt to love. She showcased it each day as she took care of our small potted

I didn't know what to do.My boyfriend– scratch that, ex-boyfriend is in police custody for killing his supposed new girlfriend???Does it mean that if I had stayed longer, that could have been me on the screen, dead and lifeless.I shuddered."Damn. This shit is messed up," Zack cursed.I sprang to my feet, "I need to go see him Zack," I said and tried to move.He stood instantly, dragging my hands. "Are you out of your mind?! Dude's in police custody on account of murder and you WANT to see him??" He yelled and let go of me. "What if that had been you, huh? You want to go see him! Please tell me you're joking..."I didn't speak for some seconds. We were both breathing heavily and our chest rising and falling rapidly. "I'm not joking. I need to make sure he's okay. I- I-- I--" I blubbered as tears rolled down my eyes. "He doesn't have anyone to look after him, Zack." I wept and his face softened.He took a step closer to me and held my gaze. "But that's not your problem anymore reme