Behind Walls

My heart kept racing as the clock ticked closer to midnight. Soon it would be 12 AM, and if I didn’t shift this time, I’d be in serious trouble. It was that time of year again – the Blood Moon, when the lunar eclipse happens, and every werewolf around the world shifts.

But I was terrified. I had never met my wolf, not even once, despite all these years.

Sitting on the bed, I stared into the full-length mirror across from me. My hands gripped the sheets as a flood of thoughts filled my mind.

What if I don’t shift again? What if it’s like last time? Will I be stuck like this forever?

These thoughts weighed me down. We were reaching a breaking point, and I knew my mate would throw me out if I failed to shift. I was never really accepted as his wife or Luna, but I didn’t think I could bear it if that happened now.

I knew I was just an Omega, but I prayed earnestly to the moon goddess.

"Please, just this once, let it happen. I want to have a child," I prayed. For me to shift and have a child with my husband Adrien, one had to happen for the other. This worried me even more.

Soon, Madison came and knocked on the door.

"Come in," I said softly, barely hearing myself. I was about to repeat it louder when she opened the door. I guess she heard me after all.

Madison was the closest person to me in the whole pack. She was in her late forties and was like both a mother and sister to me.

"My lady," she greeted as she entered. "Maddie," I replied softly.

She walked closer to me and when she got to where I was sitting, she sat beside me on the bed and took my hands into hers. 

"Everything will be fine." She said gently, soothing me. I gripped her hands too, holding her tightly. "Are you sure? What if--"

 "Shh..let everything happen according to the goddess's will." She said and I sighed softly.

Doubts kept running through my head. I felt my heart squeeze against its cage. I needed an assurance that I would make it that night. I could not afford to welcome the thought of losing Adrien because of my childlessness and weak state as a wolf. 

Madison soon left because she had to attend to some other things. That night was of course a special night for every other person but it was one that haunted me to death.

Food preparations, costume preparations and all were going on. The council of elders and other dignitaries in the pack would be traveling down for the celebration.

I finally got the courage to pull up the zipper of my dress, I let my hair down and put on a pair of black heels. My dress was strapless but I left my neck bare and wore some stud earrings.

I walked out of the bedroom slowly, without a specific destination in mind. As I walked past one of the guest rooms in our building, I heard Adrien's voice. That caught my attention and I moved closer to the wooden, custom-built door to hear more.

It was then I now heard his mother's voice, Claire. I stayed stuck on the spot, listening to them. Not like I wanted to but I could not just help but stay and hear.

 "This is your last chance, Adrien. If that girl does not shift this time around, she is leaving this pack." She asserted.

 "Mum.."

"Stop that, Adrien! Do you know who you are now? You are now the Alpha and the one thing I would want for you is a partner who's just as powerful to support you. Not someone like that weak, powerless and good-for-nothing you call a wife!" She slammed. 

I was not supposed to be surprised but my heart shattered at every word. I mean, all those insults were meant for me?

"I assure you, something different will happen this time. I can't let Mira go, I love her." He said.

 And I guess that was what was keeping me back. He gave me hope, a whole lot of it. The fact that he believed in me assured me too and before I could hear anything further, I walked away quietly.

I was headed to the first floor to oversee the food preparations since Haven was busy lashing out on Adrien about me.

 "My lady, you should not be here." Madison came around, standing in my way.

 "I want to." I countered her and she slowly moved out of my way and walked with me into the huge kitchen.

Our kitchen was used for preparations alongside the other kitchens in the pack house.

 "How is it going?" I asked her, narrowing my gaze over the ready dishes and the ones still in preparation.

"We are almost done, My lady. Everything is perfect!" She exclaimed and I smiled faintly. "That's okay. What about the stuff I asked you to prepare?"

"They are available, in my room." 

I had asked her earlier in the day if she could help me get some things I would present to Claire and Adrien's father, Arthur as a gift. They were still my inlaws regardless and so I felt that was the right thing to do.

People were already arriving at the pack house as it was the venue for this year. That year's blood moon celebration was not going to be so elaborate like it used to be. Though to some extent, it would be but not like the normal way. And of course, I did not know the reason why that was. I had always been an outcast anyway.