004 Beg for Me

(Maya)

My bedroom door clicks at three in the morning.

He’s here?

Cole doesn’t say a word as he enters, tie hanging loose, shirt half undone.

His eyes are black with intent, fixed on me. My pulse spikes.

I half sit up. Eyes bleary from sleep.

Then he’s on me… his mouth crushing mine, his hands tearing at my thin silk lace camisole. He pushes me back into the bed.

His weight pins me, his hardness pressing between my thighs.

“Say you love me,” he growls.

“I love you,” I gasp, clutching at him.

“Again. Louder.”

“I love you, Cole. I love you, I love you.”

He smirks like he’s claimed a victory. His hand grips my jaw, forcing my mouth open, kissing me so deep I can barely breathe.

Then his fingers are exploring, working me open, ruthless and skilled, dragging me up fast. My body arches, desperate, already trembling.

But he pulls away just as the edge nears. My cry is strangled and muted so I don’t wake Lucy in her room next to mine.

I clutch at his hand trying to make him keep going.

“Not yet,” he growls. “Not until I say.”

“Please,” I beg, shaking. “Please, Cole—”

“Touch yourself,” he orders. “Show me how much you need me.”

I obey, desperate to make him happy, circling myself while he watches. His mouth twists in satisfaction, but when I start to spiral too close, he grabs my wrist and stop me.

Kissing me deeply but more gentle again.

“Not yet.”

I groan, writhing, and he bends, taking me with his mouth, tongue tormenting me until I’m saying his name over and over. Again, he stops right before I shatter.

“Beg me.” His voice is harsh, guttural. “Tell me what I need to hear. Tell me you’ll never leave me. Tell me you’ll always be mine.”

“I’ll never leave you,” I sob. “I’ll always love you. Always yours.”

“Again.” His fingers glide into me, curling deep. “Say it again.”

“I’ll never leave you. I’ll always love you. I’ll always be yours, Cole. Always.”

He get on his knees between my thighs and I caress his massive hardness.

Cole pushes my thighs wider and ever wider with his knees as he positions himself above me.

Only then does he thrust into me, hard, deep, relentless.

My cry rips the air. He pounds me until my vision blurs, until my body almost breaks apart.

I want him. I need him. My need for release rises yet again.

Then he pulls out and he’s up over my mouth in a flash. I open and take him in as best I can.

He groans, shoving his release down my throat as I almost choke and swallow. Then he flips me, still hard, driving into me from behind while his fingers torment me at the same time.

I’m crying out his name, sobbing, begging. I need relief. Now.

He stops and starts in perfect timing to torment me.

“Not until I say,” he snarls, over and over, holding me at the brink of madness. “You’ll come for me when I let you. You’re mine.”

He roars his release again deep inside me, his body in deep shudders behind me. Lucy’s cry cuts through from the other room.

I start to move, but his grip clamps down. “No. Not yet. She can wait. You’re mine first.”

I whimper, torn apart, but he won’t let me go.

“Now, you get a turn.” He expertly uses his fingers the way he has learned bring me undone fast.

He’s watching close like a hungry wolf. I’d do anything for him in this moment of ecstatic insanity.

“Now. Come for me.”

He makes me come with his fingers, then immediately again with his mouth, wringing every sound from me.

He drags me over the edge, pushes me back up and then makes me crash over it again until I’m incoherent.

Finally, he drives into me one last time, holding himself deep inside me, grinding me down into the mattress until we both explode. My cries no longer stifled, his growl shaking my bones.

Only then does he release me.

She’s still crying.

I stumble to Lucy, unsteady and legs shaking. My hands tremble as I give her the pacifier. Miraculously, it works… She settles, eyes fluttering shut again. Relief floods me.

I collapse back into bed, my body wrecked, my mind spinning. 

Cole is sprawled beside me, raw, almost ashamed. Vulnerability flickers in his eyes.

“I’m… I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? I just… I just needed you so bad.”

I touch his chest, whispering, “Don’t be sorry. I want you however you need to be with me.”

His jaw clenches. “You don’t know what it costs me to love you. I can’t love you but I do.”

“You can,” I whisper, clinging to him. “You can love me. I’ll never leave you. I’ll always love you.”

He exhales, broken, his voice low and strange. “No… loving you is not what I ever wanted to do…” 

He stops. Shakes his head. “Forget it.”

“What?” I ask. What does he mean by that?

“Forget it,” he commands again, and soft Cole is gone. “Just forget I said anything.” He turns his back to me. But he isn’t getting out of bed. He’s staying this time.

And I know, with perfect clarity, that I’ve been right all along. He loves me. He just doesn’t know how to handle it. He needs me to show him I can handle whatever he has to throw at me.

I bury myself against him, exhausted but triumphant.

Everything I’ve told myself is true. He loves me.

Tessa is wrong.

My husband came to me in need tonight and I met those needs.

I’m sure we’re going to be okay.

This will be a turning point for us.

***

I wake to an empty bed, but his scent still lingers on the sheets.

Proof he was here. Proof he stayed a while. I hold onto the happiness because it’s everything.

I go to my kitchen half hoping he’s at the table having coffee. He isn’t but an empty coffee cup is on the sink and the coffee pot is waiting for me.

That feels good. His presence. Him thinking of me and making a pot of coffee.

My body still aches and burns from him. Bruising starting to form.

A thrill goes over me. He wanted me so bad. That proves something.

There’s a tap on the internal door which leads out to the hallway that goes out to the main wing of the mansion.

The door opens and Jade pops her head in. “Oh hey, you’re up.”

She comes in. Perfect as ever, hair sleek, suit pressed, smiling

“You look bright today,” she says, eyes flicking over me. “Cole came home?”

Heat creeps up my neck. “He stayed.”

She beams at me, as though she’s proud. “Good. He said he was thinking about it. I told him he should.”

So, he was with her before that? Not working.

“Owen had a bad night. Cole has so much on his shoulders. If you keep this support up, he’ll remember why he chose you.”

Her words soak into me like medicine. I force any jealousy out of my mind. Their son is sick. He needs them both.

That’s all it is. Jade has been here for me.

Lucy fusses, and before I can move, Jade goes to her room.

She carries her back out and settles her easily against her shoulder.

Lucy quiets almost instantly. 

I watch, envy burning, wondering why it’s always effortless for her to settle Lucy. For anyone, really. Just not me.

“See, it’s not that hard to settle her,” she says, rocking my daughter like she was born for it. “You need to make it easier for Cole to come home. Keep her calm, keep yourself calm. He notices these things.”

I nod quickly. “I can do that.”

She smiles, reassuring. “He’s meeting me in his office here soon.”

He never left. He’s still here in his office. I love that.

“What are you meeting about?”

“Owen’s latest tests. Why don’t you bring us some coffee in an hour? Let him see you’re thinking of him. Thinking of Owen. He’ll appreciate that.”

Coffee. Something so small, but it feels like a chance to feel like a normal relationship.

“Yes,” I say. “I’ll do that.”

“Good girl.”

She kisses the top of Lucy’s head before handing her back to me. “He’ll see how thoughtful you are. That’s what he needs to be reminded of with everyone telling him he made the wrong choice.”

He almost said the same thing…

But it’s okay. I’ll make it okay.