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13. Trouble to Follow
I wish I had a magic to stop the time.
Time was crawling like sand trickling from my hands and I had no grasp of it. The funny thing was I didn't even know why I fancied the time to slow down. I just wanted it to slow down, so that I could think again, or be something else. I wish I had time to travel the world. Time to be something else. Time to apologize for my mistakes. Time to sit down and think. But it was flying. And like our teachers said us in schools time didn't stop for anyone.
Not even me.
Tilting my head on the pillow, I stared at the milk like ceiling, thinking over and over again. Overthinking was bad. My therapist had told me. It brings out the emotions which should be locked up, especially for a person like me. Who had a habit of blaming herself for things which shouldn
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Betraying Myself 14. Time is Crawling
I wiped my hand against the mouth. "What?""You need to come to my apartment, like right now.""Why?"He paused for a moment. "Why don't I explain everything when you reach? I'll message the address." Without hearing for any reply, he hung up. I stared at it dumbfounded. Who did he think of himself? Prime Minister Modi?In a minute, my phone pinged again, and opening I saw it was the address of his new apartment.Should I go or not? But he said it was something important. Not exactly, but it meant the same thing. I took a once over to my room and settled to go out only. I couldn't stay much longer inside. It gets on my nerves too much. Tearing myself up from the comfort, I went strai
Betraying Myself 15. Love is Poison
He lay in front of me like he hadn't said anything surprising.He wasn't married.He wasn't married.I didn't know if I should squeal in happiness or be sad. He had a daughter, and their was no doubt in their looks. They seemed related except their skin color. She was fair, while Dhruv had a darker tone. Not much dark, but not too fair.My tongue drove to ask him any question, to clarify the confusion, but I did nothing and sat down. He was sorting out the designs, which were good and which needed to be remade.After telling the shocking news, he made Ria to sleep and put her in the crib which was in front of us. According to him, she moved a lot when she wakes up, and one time tried
Betraying Myself 16. Being Too Close
I started doing the sketching, but it was from half heart. I envisioned how Dhruv looked when his heart was shattered, when he discerned all was just a declining memory in his mind. And to see a part of his past always moving with him. Even worse to realize that someone used you for money. I tried to imagine when Dhruv said things to his parents, when he spoke what he wanted. How his face would've been, when he grappled to get some money.How couldn't I notice it before? When he said he already had the past to burn with? When he said I left him alone? Because everyone in his life always left him and then laughed at him. When that night he yelled at me? He always asked in the morning why she played with him and nobody else.And in some way, I too cheated on him. Left him when a two days ago, his dog had died. His best friend. He had only two best friend. Me and him. And we both left him. We left him alone. Everyone just leave him alone, but h
Betraying Myself 17. Wounds and Scars
Tossing on the side, I woke up by the crying and wailing of a baby. Lifting the lids open, I meandered my gaze to the room and a panic set in.Breath came lower, chest thumped harder. Slowly, I swirled my head to the side and relief flooded in my veins. Nothing happened like last time. I wasn't with some stranger. I was alone in the room.Scrutinizing carefully, I realized I was in Dhruv's apartment. Last night memories knocked and I fell back on the bed, stared at the white ceiling, with the noises coming in. Sleeping with jeans on was a tough thing. When I was pulling out the blankets from the closet last night, I had seen some girls clothes.Was Dhruv lying? Had he moved on and lying he didn't know if he loved Isha? Was he playing with me?Questions and questions.&n
Betraying Myself 18. Back to Life
I was slicing a portion when Dhruv mumbled, "you should be like this more."Lifting my gaze up, I stared at him petrified. "Like what?""Without any makeup. No doubt, makeup makes anyone look better but you look better like this also." I rolled my eyes at his answer."I've acne marks." Across my cheeks. I had to do makeup to hide them. He didn't say anything else and got back to his phone. Silence filled the table. Awkward silence."So what are you studying?" It looked like a safe subject to approach. He switched his phone off and placed it back on the table."BCA." I should have known it. Of course, he would go for something related to computer. He loved it. "What about you?""Just doing BA. After that NIFT." He smiled knowingly. I had been bragging to him about this since a long time.Aga
Betraying Myself 19. Walk Away
Denying part was easy.Ajay stood on his ground to make me go with him on a date - fancy one. But I didn't have time left in my schedule at all. I hadn't even brushed, and kissed him like this only. It came to my mind later, and for some miracle he didn't get the idea of foul breath. Maybe it could be because of the food I ate. He did ask why I taste like eggs, and I lied to him the same thing I said to mom.I was at Ishita's house.Lying in the relationship was bad. It was like a first step to cheating and I felt like I was cheating him by hiding the fact that I was with Dhruv, not Ishita. But he wouldn't have understood me and asked million questions. Questions which I wasn't ready to answer yet. He never understood my part and blamed me back.But that wasn't love. And when I said I love him, a feeling of wrong coursed, throat burned as it was a lie rolling down my tongue. I should've buried it dee
Betraying Myself 20. Screamed
Fifteen minutes was a long time to stay in the car and look at her house. It shouldn't be tough. I just had to open the door, go inside her house and meet her and apologize for everything. For every name I called her, every teasing I did and for that one night.But my hands were sweaty and knots had increased. A heavy bag was on my lap, making it harder for me to move.Dad would be angry if he knew I was near her house. I wasn't allowed to go and visit her. I was restricted. Enough of the damage was done by my hands, and I should leave it be.I gripped the steering wheel.You ruin my whole life.Why did you do this to me?Closing my
Betraying Myself 21. Bear
"Sanchi, hi." He glanced at the car and realization dawned on him. It was my car. "It's your car." Snapping out of the daze, he came towards me. "What are you doing here?" "I should be asking. Why are you here and in that uniform?" Sheepishly, he scratched his head and said, "I don't do this job if you're thinking. My friend, David, had to go out with his little sister. And this job is his home income. So, I just took his shift." "You took it?" I practically shouted. Day by day he was shocking me with his actions. Every time I saw him, it was like seeing a whole new person. And I didn't know what to think about it. He was changed. Too much changed. And the thing which confused was should I accept this Dhruv or miss the one which I had lost to the world?
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