Chapter 6: How to Become

I found myself in one of the labyrinth gardens of the royal academy as the chirping of the crickets, croaking of the frogs, and hooting of the owls streamed like a river in the silent night as the turmoil of emotions had come to align in the cold wind. My hand crashed against the unforgiving earth, its impact leaving a deep impression as my tears streamed down, merging with the soil below.

Frustration... Abomination... Sorrow... Humiliation... Powerlessness...

These negative emotions were so condensed that it was hard to rise from the quicksand slowly eating me.

Frustration... I desired to return everything to its rightful place. I only wished to return to the Red Sun pack, proclaiming as the heiress. But I could still feel my failure along the way. 

Abomination... My resentment against my uncle for what he did to Father had reached my heart, letting this poison breach me. He took away the happiness that I was supposed to experience until the day I died, but his selfishness blinded him.

Sorrow... The death of my father... My lovable father... The only one who believed in me that I could become an Alpha even if I were a woman. The immense pain of losing him was burning inside me, and I could feel the remnants of my sanity almost stowed me away.

Humiliation... From this repeated oppression with my cousins... I couldn't fight back. I had wanted her to be dead along with Akeno. Perhaps, I should include Uncle Hajime, for they were treating me like this, unable to fight back again as the past ringing like a bell in a quiet place.

Powerlessness... It was already futile that I was here in the royal academy. Even if I became a royal knight in the near future, it would be deemed impossible to take back what was mine, to begin with. I would never get back the Red Sun pack again...

"Mother... I do not wish to be here..." I muttered as I looked up in the starry sky with a plea of salvation and secrecy dancing in the moonlight. "I had enough..."

My hands were now soiled, letting this madness hit the nerve. All I could do was kneel there with only the starry sky becoming my eternal solace.

If only I could abscond from my situation... I would have done it a long time ago. However, I had to embrace the chaotic ordeals like a mother nurturing her pup. 

As tears bathed my face, my senses heightened as a gentle crack emanated from the towering bushes, instantly drawing my attention. A growl hit the back of my throat as my back postured up. 

"Who's there?" I sniffed before deciding to stand up. The sleeves of my dress became my soothing consolation to wipe the tears that almost dried up on my face. "I know that you are there. Show yourself." My hand crawled under my skirt to reach for my dagger, preparing to attack that person.

I could feel the presence. But my runny nose made it hard for me to whiff the scent. 

Anticipating resistance, I braced myself for a stubborn encounter, only to be proven wrong in an instant. As our eyes locked, my mouth involuntarily fell open, unable to conceal my surprise at the familiar sapphire blue gaze and that impurtenable stout figure that greeted me.

"Thaddeus?" I stepped back, but that was a wrong move when my foot slipped into the small crate I had created a while ago, only to be landed on the ground. "What the hell..." I growled when I almost tossed my mask from afar because of this agonizing turmoil in my stomach just by seeing him. "Why are you here?" I added when his domineering aura sent a wave of intimidation that nearly glued me to my seat.

I tried to be casual with him, not wanting to show him my weakness, but I assumed he had been there, for I did not know how long he was there. 

"I saw you going here after you left the party."

I gazed up when his large calloused hand was being offered to me. Hesitant, I still accepted it and murmured my gratitude. 

I brushed off the dirt from my skirt with unmelodious strokes of my hands. "My apologies if you have to see me that way..." This should make me feel embarrassed that my father-in-law, who happened to be my mate, watched the oppression done by my cousin.

Thaddeus did not say anything but only just watched me in silence. 

Huh... That was rare. He was not that talkative at this moment. Usually, he would remark something which would leave me uncomfortable. But having him here brought comfort somehow. 

It was bizarre that I had to feel this way when I had been trying to avoid him all this time.

The night was young that I almost shivered from the breeze as the bushes and trees were dancing in harmonious relationship with it. It was chilly yet... serene. It was a shame that my wolf wouldn't know I was with my mate right now.

She would be delighted if she knew this.

I wrapped my arms around myself, hoping this could help me warm since Akane tainted my dress. I could finally get a sniff of champagne in my dress that drizzled in the wind.

"I have to apologize for the dress tonight..."

Thaddeus was the one who paid for it. I was thankful that getting married to Severin had bestowed me with some of the luxurious items that I had never gotten to experience again ever since my father died.

Glancing at Thaddeus, my heart almost slipped out of my chest when he was closed, and at the same time, I flinched when his coat was now in my shoulders.

"It's just a dress, Kasumi." His profound voice created a small pathway to my heart that it raced so fast with every word he said. "What matters most is if you are alright or not."

Silence fluttered me having him so close to me. His strong hands were still on my shoulders, bestowing a fellow feeling. Even with his strong features and inexplicably intense presence, Thaddeus was a remarkable gentleman.

Not only that, he was known as the ruthless Alpha in the east. My uncle wouldn't have to sell me off to the House of de Rosa if he wasn't scared of the threat that Thaddeus embellished with us.

Hold on... How did he even inflict fear and coerce my uncle into this pact?

My uncle would resort to what he only thought was best. Thaddeus did not even suggest it, so this betrothal was merely advocated by Uncle Hajime.

After years of cold war, why did Father and Uncle Hajime not even dare to inflict a war on them? How powerful was Thaddeus?

Why did my uncle resort to marrying me to Thaddeus' son?

"How?!"

Thaddeus winced at my abrupt change of silence. His eyes widened, and I almost laughed since I did not expect to get to make him that expression.

"How what?" His sapphire blue orbs were glimmering under the velvety rays of moonlight.

"How..." Should I even dare to ask that? But it was better than nothing at all. "How to become a ruthless ruler like you?"

His upper lip curled up into a small smile as he slightly tilted his head. "That question is out of nowhere. Why do you ask?"

I stared at him, reluctant shivers crawling through my being as my tongue fell back at the back of my throat. My gaze averted his, landing at the luscious bushes.

"Nothing..." I secretly pinched myself for not being able to voice out my words.

"Pray tell..." In my peripheral vision, Thaddeus was stroking his chin. "Are you perhaps planning to take back your pack, Kasumi?"

My teeth secretly gritted at this unexpected conclusion from him.

He was quick-witted... Damn it.

A lump in my throat forbade me to answer him as I was struggling to maintain my composure when my life after I lost my father flashed before my eyes.

"Yes." The drowsed hatred had awakened as I faced him with determination. Gripping my skirt was like holding on to my dear life. "I want to know how to become like you. I want to take back what is mine, to begin with."

There. I said it when it was not supposed to. There was no need to deny everything. Thaddeus was not a simpleton.

However, the oppression I experienced and inheriting nothingness was my drive to keep on going. I had enough of suffering in the corner.

It was time for me to stand up.

"I beseech you to teach me how to be an Alpha like the successorship training on how you educate Severin. Or at least help me take back the Red Sun pack. Please!"

Although Father imposed the successorship training on me back then, there was one thing Father did not teach me. It was how to administer fear towards the neighboring pack and utilize it to control my pack members.

Thaddeus' gaze penetrated me, making me step back a little when I sensed danger from him. But his lips still shaped into an amused one.

"How audacious of you to ask me something like this, Kasumi." He stepped forward as it made me gulp. "Are you saying that you will sever the ties between your former pack and my pack so you can have yourself to be the next Alpha of the Red Sun pack? Is that what you meant?"

"No." I shook my head as the overflowing emotions started to fill my chest. "No matter my position as the Alpha, the bonds between our packs shall endure unbroken."

Narrowing his eyes, he scrutinized me intently. "It is beyond the realm of possibility, Kasumi. Drop it."

I panicked at what he said. "Please!" This time, I halted him from walking by holding his arm. 

Thaddeus did not even protest, but he did not turn his head. "You will become the next Luna of the Blazing Winter pack once I pass down the Alpha title to my son, Kasumi." He angled his head towards me, emphasizing his words. "So, halt it."

I could hear my heart start shattering, loosening my hold on his arm when he started to walk away from the labyrinth garden. I was left there with discouragement as tears cascaded down my cheeks.