I Dream Of Her

*Kane's POV*

As I’m walking through campus, I don’t know why, but something compels me to look at the building to my left. When I do, I see a window with Violet and her friend from last night sitting on the other side of it. I don’t know why, but my feet are moving towards her on their own accord.

I walk up to their table and Violet looks up at me, shock written all over her face.

“Hello,” I say.

“Hi,” She replies quietly. She’s clearly still confused. And, to be honest, so am I.

“How did you find the rest of the party?” I ask casually, trying to glean any information on if she was as miserable as I was after our little exchange last night.

The blond starts, “Oh, she-”

“Enjoyed it. She enjoyed it,” Violet cuts her off and gives her a pointed look. Interesting. I wonder what that’s about. I search her eyes for answers but find nothing.

“Yeah, we had a great time. You know, played some games, did some drinking,” Her friend says but I’m not really listening to her. I don’t really care what she has to say. I see Violet drop her gaze to look at her nails and I know she’s lying. Maybe she did have as shitty of a night as I did.

“Mhm. I’m sure," I reply, not even entirely sure of what she said.

She looks back up at me through her eyelashes and my gut clenches and I feel my jeans tightening. God dammit, why is this happening to me?

“Do you need something Kane?” She asks me, evidently becoming irritated that she can’t figure out why I’m here.

“What, I’m not allowed to say hi to you?” I say to her as casually as possible.

“You told me to stay away from you yesterday. I guess that only works one way then?” She says back in a completely neutral manner. I don’t know what I was expecting to come out of her mouth, but that certainly was not it.

“I changed my mind.” I tell her.

“What?” She says, the shock colouring her face once again. Trust me I'm just as surprised as you are.

“I said, I changed my mind. We can’t avoid each other forever,” I say with a shrug, attempting to seem like I don’t care.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” She replies quietly. No surprise there. She’s too nice to tell me to fuck off like I did to her just yesterday.

I feel the tension between us creeping up and I realize I've got to get out of this conversation quickly before I say something really stupid.

“Alright then. See you around,” I say and then just walk away before she can reply.

When I get outside, I lean against the brick wall and run my hand through my hair. Why am I letting her affect me like this? This is so stupid. I hate her so much yet I find myself so drawn to her. And at the same time, I know that the more time I spend with her, the more dangerous it becomes for both of us.

Fuck, I wish there were fights tonight. I decide to just go to the gym on campus instead and try to burn off this energy. I run on the treadmill and then lift weights and then punch the shit out of the punching bags. None of it helps. It’s not the same as the rush from fighting another person. There’s no danger. It’s missing the adrenaline that comes from knowing you hold the other person’s fate in your grasp. Maybe that makes me sounds like a psycho but it's truly the only time I feel anything.

I go back to the frat house several hours later feeling very unsatisfied. I head up to my room and lock the door. I open my laptop and find myself searching Violet Shaw on F******k. I find her page but it’s blocked. I try i*******m and her profile is thankfully open.

I scroll through the pictures and the only ones she’s actually in are with a blond guy. I think she did mention something about having a boyfriend last time she visited. God he looks like a fucking loser. I catch my fists clenching on their own accord. The latest picture was from not too long ago. They must still be together. Not that it matters. I don’t care.

The only other person in her pictures is a red headed girl with a babyface who is tagged as Rebecca. Other than that, she has only pictures of books and coffee and plants and other artsy stuff. I go check her tagged photos and the first one is of her in a black dress with the blond girl she seems to always be with. According to her i*******m, her name is Stella.

I zoom in on Violet and take in her outfit again. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a black dress look this good. The longer I look at the picture, the harder I get. Before my brain can catch up, my hand is in my pants and I’m jerking myself off to the image of her for the second time in 24 hours. Fucking Hell.

I finish quickly and then decide to put a movie on and just try and forget about it. About her. I waste the rest of the night on the internet and then fall asleep early.

Once again, I dream of her.