Chapter five

Sign here

I had the papers ready on Wednesday.

I put them on the dining table, made sure the edges were straight, and placed a pen on top. Then I sat on the couch. Waited.

Mara had called me three times already.

When she called, she said: "You should not be alone for this."

"I have been alone throughout this marriage. I can manage one night," I said

"Aria..." she said

"I will call you after I promise".

"If he tries to… "

"Mara. I'm okay."

A long pause. "I'll keep my phone on."

"I know you will."

“good luck” she said before hanging up the phone.

Damien came home around eight. He dropped his key on the floor, took off his jacket, and walked into the living room while still loosening his tie. He stopped when he saw the papers on the table.

He said, "What is this?" and looked at the papers,

"You know what it is". I said

He walked slowly to the table. Picked up the first page. I watched as his jaw tightened while he read it.

"You had the papers drawn without talking to me". His voice was flat. Controlled

"I have been talking to you for months, but you are not listening".

He put the paper down. "Aria..."

"Do not tell me what this is, I already know what it is".

He turned to face me fully. For a second, he looked like the man I used to know. The one who held my face and said I was the decision he had ever made. Then his expression changed back to his usual self.

"You are serious".

"I have never been more serious about anything in my life".

"You are ending our marriage over photographs that you know might not even be real".

"I am ending our marriage because I have been disappearing inside it for three years, and you never noticed".

"That is not fair".

"No, it really is not".

He took a step closer to me. I stepped back.

"Do not come closer," I said

He stopped.

"I am not signing those papers".

"You do not have to sign the papers tonight because we both know that our marriage has been over for a time. I am the one who is willing to say it out loud".

"So that is it, three years and that is it".

"three years. You missed every anniversary. Three years. You told me I was overthinking whenever I brought something real up. Three years. You took your ex-fiancée to a hotel at midnight, and you thought a text from Chicago was enough". I picked up my coat, so yes, that is it". I said

"Where are you going?" He asked

"Maras".

"Aria, just stop… and talk to me".

"I have been trying to talk to you since January, and now you want to talk? Fine, let us talk".

He opened his mouth. Then closed it.

"That is what I thought". I said

"I did not cheat on you".

"Maybe you did not, maybe those photographs are what you said they were". I looked at him. And continued "but Damien, even if I believed the photographs are not true, it does not fix the rest of it. It does not fix the empty chairs at the counter, it does not fix the anniversaries that you missed or the conversations you walked out of or the way you looked at her in that office like she was worth all your attention and I was just furniture". My voice was still calm, which was good. "The photographs did not break us up, we were already broken. They just made me stop pretending that we were".

The room was very quiet.

"So that is it, you have already decided".

"Tell me I am wrong, tell me it was not what it looked like, tell me you see me, that you have seen me my life, that you are sorry, and you will do better. Say something, Damien, say it right now and mean it, and I will put those papers away tonight and forget the divorce ever happened. I will stay. I want to stay. I need you to fight for me at least just once".

The silence. Stretched. And stretched

His pride took over. He sat down, making himself comfortable.

"I am not going to beg". He said

I nodded once.

"I know, that is why I am leaving".

I walked out of the door softly, expensively, and finally.

He signed the papers four days later.

I was at Maras place when my lawyer called. I was sitting on the bathroom floor, back against the bathtub, staring at something I had been staring at for the past twenty minutes, and I could not stop staring at it, no matter how many times I told myself to get up.

A pregnancy test, two lines, very clear, no room for doubt.

My phone buzzed in my hand. My lawyer's name appeared on the screen. I picked it up.

"he signed it is done". She said

"okay". I said

"Aria, are you alright?" She asked

I looked at the test in my hand at the two lines that just changed everything I thought I knew about what came.

"I will call you back". I said

I hung up. I sat there on Mara's cold bathroom floor in the silence and did the only thing I could do in that moment.

I pressed my hands against my stomach.

 I made a decision.