Chapter 1 Hell

Clara

I was wrong.

Hell isn’t a place.

It’s the crushing silence that descended over the hall as I entered, the knowing glances that followed my every move and the mocking smiles hidden behind half full glasses of champagne and well manicured hands.

If I had been walking naked through a snowstorm, the urge to wrap my arms around myself couldn’t have been stronger than it was at that moment.

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One hour ago….

“You’re still recovering from your illness.” Mark Carson, my husband’s grandfather said, setting down the cup he’d been drinking from. “You should go rest for now. I’ll send someone to call you down when he gets here.”

I sat up straighter, suppressing the cough that’d been itching at my throat. “He’ll be here soon Mark, I want to be the first to welcome him when he arrives.”

A dark look crossed his face. “It’s past 10pm already. That rascal’s return flight was for 1pm. Since he still isn’t here by now, then that means he has no intention of coming. It’s this old man’s fault for not raising him properly.”

“How can you say something like that about your only grandson Mark?” Sarah, my mother-in-law said, throwing a dissatisfied look at me.“Everyone here knows how hard Ronan works for the company. If he still isn’t here then that means something important must have come up at work.” After saying this, her gaze narrowed at me. “Are you sure you told him about tonight?”

“Stop glaring at the girl.” Mark rapped his lion head walking stick heavily on the floor. “Despite being so sick she can barely stand straight, she’s been busy running around preparing things for this birthday dinner just to make your son happy. Yet he can’t even be bothered to show up.”

“Hmmph!” Sarah snorted. “If she’s sick, then she should be lying in bed or in a hospital. Who asked her to run around doing unnecessary things?”

Mark’s neck flushed in anger. “He couldn’t even give a reasonable excuse for not being here. Does Ronan think that just because he’s now sitting in that CEO position that I can no longer touch him? Just as I put him there, I can also easily pull him down.”

“Father-in-law!” Sarah half rose up from her seat, the glass she’d been drinking wine from the entire night still clutched in her hand. Wine sloshed over the rim and wet her hand but she didn’t notice. Her slightly dazed eyes flashed around the table a couple of times before settling on me. “How can you say such things in front of outsiders?”

“Outsiders?!” Mark whirled around so fast I stretched out my hand to him, afraid he would lose his balance. “Who do you think is the outsider here? You who couldn’t do a single thing right your entire life, not even knowing your own son’s birthday, or this young woman here who has gone to such great lengths just to ensure we could gather as a family today?

All you do everyday is drink and spend money. You can’t even stay sober for a few hours on your son’s birthday.”

“You’re being a bit unfair grandfather.” Charlotte, my sister-in-law cut in pouting, putting down her phone. She’d been staring into it the entire time. “Mom is right. Nobody asked her to do all that. Why should we bear the blame when she decided to play maid?”

“Mark,” I called before he could blow up again. He turned to me, his chest still heaving from anger but his face was already softening. “Please stop fighting. I’ll wait just a little longer, if he still isn’t back, then I’ll go back home.”

“Go back home?” Mark’s brows drew close together. “Why would you go back at such a late hour? Are you trying to say my house isn’t good enough for you to sleep in?”

“No.” I got up quickly to soothe the elderly man’s feelings. “That’s not what I meant at all. I just want to be home in case he goes there first.”

“Stop wasting your time.” Charlotte muttered under her breath but when I looked at her, she looked away as if she hadn’t been the one talking

I opened my mouth to ask her about it, but right at that moment, a slow jazz song started playing and my heart started pounding in response.

“What that?” Charlotte’s face crumpled in disgust. “Who listens to such ancient music in this day and age?” Her head turned from side to side as she tried to figure out where the ringtone was coming from.

With slightly trembling hands, I pulled my phone out of my purse, almost dizzy with relief when I saw the name on the screen. I turned to Mark, unable to stop the smile forming on my face. “It’s Ronan, he must be on his way here.”

Something that looked a lot like pity flashed in Mark’s eyes, but then he let out a sigh and waved me off. “Forget it, I can’t tell you young people what to do.”

Having been excused, I flew upstairs to our room. It had been Ronan’s when he was younger, but since we’d gotten married, we both slept in it whenever we stayed over at the Carson estate.

I smoothed my hair down and steadied my breathing before swiping to answr.

I heard the low music and the muffled conversation first. Then Ronan’s voice came through the phone’s speakers.

“I won’t be coming to grandfather’s house tonight.” He said casually. No attempt at an apology for his lateness or a pretense at an explanation. “You don’t need to go there either. I’ll talk to him later on.”

I blinked as a heavy feeling of dread slowly settled in my chest. “I’m already here. Can’t you at least show up, even if it’s only for a few minutes. I spent so long preparing—“

“Ronan,” a woman’s giggle sounded from the other end of the phone. “Who are you talking to?”

As soon as her voice sounded, the call went silent as if it had been put on hold. It took a few seconds before Ronan spoke again. “I have something important to do. Cancel whatever you have planned there.”

“Cancel?” I felt my heart drop down at least six stories. “But everything’s already—“

The call ended abruptly before I could get another word out. For a little while, I actually debated calling him back, but I knew that would piss him off. He hated wasting his time on things he found irrelevant and would probably get angry if I called again just to make him repeat himself.

I made my way to the bed and sat down. I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t disappointed, but I also wasn’t surprised. Ever since we’d gotten married, Ronan had been like this.

Dates I’d planned for weeks ended up being pushed back because of a sudden work emergency or business parties I never got invited to.

I couldn’t bring him meals at work either. He was always too busy to eat and the food I spent hours preparing, ended up in the trash.

But he made up for it with gifts. Diamond necklaces, gold earrings, custom made clothes, I had them all. He plied my closet so full with these things that it felt inconsiderate to ask him to spend more time with me.

My fingers trailed over the cold pillows.

I’d known when Ronan asked me to marry him that he didn’t love me, but I still said yes because I believed I could love him into loving me.

But years had passed since then and we were still right where we started, more than strangers but less than lovers. Sometimes, I wondered if he bought me expensive gifts because he felt sorry for me.

A sharp notification tone drew me out of my daze. For a second, I looked blankly at the screen without seeing anything, then my gaze focused on the unsaved number that’d texted me.

‘Rosewood hotel and suites,’ the message read. ‘Come if you dare.’