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Both My Parents, Neither My Home
Both My Parents, Neither My Home
Author: Quinn Loves Cilantro

Chapter 1

Author: Quinn Loves Cilantro
Seeing me head for the study, Mom furiously grabbed my wrist. The moment her fingers touched the thick layer of scars there, she yanked her hand back like she'd been shocked.

"Can't you understand plain words?" Mom snapped. "That room is for your brother to play his games in from now on!"

With that, she slammed the door shut, as if even one more glance from me would be some kind of sacrilege.

I laughed, a short, unhinged sound. "So where am I supposed to sleep?"

Mom froze for a second, then jabbed a furious finger around the living room like I was an idiot.

"Isn't there a couch right there? Isn't there a rug? Sleep wherever you want. Stop acting so pathetic!"

Sleep wherever I wanted. Like she was describing a stray dog.

"Don't I deserve a room of my own?"

My voice came out quiet, but Dad exploded instantly, like a man who'd been holding back for years.

"You have everything in this house. You have both your parents together under one roof. Why do you have to fight Preston and Carol over something this small?

"Preston has lost his real father, and Carol has lost her real mother. Why are you being so petty?

"They're happy every day. You're the only one who walks around with that miserable face."

A mountain of guilt crashed down on me, and whatever I'd been about to say died in my throat.

I'd been hearing that same line since the day I was born. Seventeen years of it.

The moment I dared to push back, I became ungrateful, selfish, greedy, some inhuman monster.

I was too scared to reply.

My sister got home from work and stumbled over my bags the second she walked through the door.

She caught sight of me and frowned. "What now?"

Mom let out a cold snort. "Ronald's been making a scene about wanting his own room. Won't give anyone a moment's peace."

My sister made a small noise of acknowledgment, the corner of her mouth curling in a way that mirrored Mom's exactly. "What does a kid need privacy for?"

A kid. She said it so lightly.

She'd apparently forgotten that when she first came to this house, she'd been only six years old. She'd gotten her own room right away, along with a computer and an allowance. Anyone who wanted in had to knock three times first, or she'd scream and cry until she got her way.

But now, she looked straight through my pain, and even laughed at it.

"This conversation's over."

Mom shoved a hamper full of dirty laundry into my arms, her face saying she had no patience left for me. "Go wash these."

"My finals are coming up..."

"Don't you dare use your finals as an excuse! Preston and Carol both took it too. When did either of them ever make excuses?"

They didn't need excuses. They never had to wash dishes, sweep floors, or do an endless mountain of laundry.

Mom never gave my sister chores, worried it would upset Dad. Dad never gave my brother chores, worried it would upset Mom.

I was the only convenient target. Hitting me, screaming at me, blaming me for anything, none of it cost them a thing, because nobody was ever going to step in for me.

My silence only made Mom angrier. She shoved me into the bathroom.

A slap cracked across my face, snapping my head to the side.

Under the glare of the bathroom light, her expression was twisted, overpowering.

"Wash it now, and don't talk back. Preston needs these clothes tomorrow.

"You think my life is easy? We've got five people living in this house, and everyone depends on me. You're the luckiest one here, and you still fight me on everything!"

"How exactly am I the lucky one?"

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  • Both My Parents, Neither My Home   Chapter 7

    The moment she saw me, Mom burst into tears like a child."Have you given up on us? Do you have any idea what we've been through?"Preston moved out! Carol won't even speak to us! We're not young anymore. Are you trying to make our lives miserable on purpose?"Even though I'd braced myself for this, her shameless accusations still cut straight through me.For years, I'd been nothing but her trash can.Whenever she couldn't stand Carol, she dumped it all on me.Whenever she fought with Preston, she dumped it all on me.Whenever things soured with Dad, she dumped it all on me too.And every time she finished unloading, she'd walk away lighter, refreshed, like she'd been born again.Her goal was never to fix things with them. It was to pressure me into staying her trash can, willingly, without ever pushing back.But I wasn't who I used to be anymore."You brought this on yourselves.""What did you just say?"Mom's eyes bored into me, like she couldn't believe those words had

  • Both My Parents, Neither My Home   Chapter 6

    With that, Carol raised her voice toward Dad."Dad, say something! Preston and I both work. Why is it always me who has to do chores the second we get home?""What do you mean, only you? You think I don't do anything?" Mom's face flushed red, and tears sprang to her eyes."Does Preston not eat, or something?""Why do you keep dragging Preston into this?"Their voices climbed sharper with every exchange."Because you play favorites! Don't tell me you don't have a guilty conscience about it!""Enough!" Dad slammed the table and stood up, shouting. "It's just cooking dinner. What are you two even fighting about?"He took a deep breath and said, slower this time, "Carol, you and Preston can take turns."Preston, who'd just come out for a glass of water, refused flat out without even glancing up."I don't know how to cook. I'll just order takeout from now on."Dad's expression darkened instantly."You swear you won't eat a single bite of home cooking?"Preston didn't answer. He

  • Both My Parents, Neither My Home   Chapter 5

    "He checked out this morning."The exam was over, so I got on a bus and left town.I'd already lined up a factory job. Two and a half months of work would cover my tuition.Mom cried and screamed, beside herself with fury."Who have I done all this for, all these years? Now that he thinks his wings are strong enough, he actually ran away from home. If this family falls apart, it'll be because of him."Dad stood off to the side smoking one cigarette after another, his face dark as a storm cloud.Carol looked equally baffled."He really doesn't know how good he has it. What's he even got to be upset about, making this big a mess?"Preston, utterly indifferent, just wanted things wrapped up."Let's go home. I've got things to do."Back home, Mom looked like the life had drained out of her, sprawled listless in the bedroom. She murmured over and over, "Who have I done all this for…"Nobody cooked dinner. Preston and Carol ordered takeout.Dad heated up leftovers from the fridge

  • Both My Parents, Neither My Home   Chapter 4

    I cried. I cried for a long, long time.But deep into that same night, something became clear to me.Something that could finally set me free.So starting the next day, I became normal again, at least in Mom's eyes.I did everything she asked of me without complaint, and I stopped fighting back.A week later, she brought me home.The first thing waiting for me was a mountain of dirty dishes."Go wash these. Nobody's helped me out these past few days. I'm exhausted."I didn't say anything. I just walked over and got to work.Next came a basket of laundry.Some of it couldn't go in the machine and had to be scrubbed by hand.I scrubbed away at the basin over and over. Partway through, my sister pushed the door open and dropped off two more pieces. She said like she cared, "Ronald, you're finally back."The smile on her lips was completely genuine.But it had nothing to do with me. It was because there was finally someone around to do her laundry again."A stubborn brat like

  • Both My Parents, Neither My Home   Chapter 3

    My friends looked terrified. Before they could even finish, Dad cut them off and threw them out."That's enough. Leave."His face twisted with wounded sorrow."Ronald's dragging you kids down with him. Stay away from him, or you'll end up as ungrateful as he is."My tears finally broke free as I fell apart and screamed at him, "Why would you say this about me in front of my classmates? What did I even do wrong?""Ha. If you're so scared of us showing your true colors, maybe you shouldn't have acted the way you did."Mom lit up, practically thrilled, and pointed at me, shouting."See? This is exactly how he loses it. I told you, didn't I?"She looked so pleased with herself, so righteous. Like driving me out of my mind was the single most rewarding thing she'd ever done.My friends couldn't take it anymore. One by one, they got up and fled through the door.Mom looked like she'd just won a war, and sighed with satisfaction."See that? Even your own friends can't stand you. Ju

  • Both My Parents, Neither My Home   Chapter 2

    "What did you just say?" Mom froze for a second, and her voice shot up so sharp it nearly split my eardrums.I held back tears, the red welt from her slap still stinging across my face, and slowly turned to look at her."Getting hit every day, is that what you call lucky?""You wouldn't get hit if you didn't fight me on everything. You brought this on yourself."But this time, I didn't cower the way I used to. I said each word slow and clear."Maybe I didn't bring this on myself. Maybe you just pick on whoever's weakest."Mom's expression froze for a moment, then her eyes went red, like I'd just said something monstrous."Might as well just die, then," she shrieked, wailing like the world was ending.The door banged open. Dad stormed in, his face ashen with rage, and came straight at me.I couldn't stop myself from shaking.He looked at me for two seconds, then kicked me to the ground without warning."Ah!"I let out a scream as I slammed into the wall, my pained face refle

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