CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

KOLE’S POV

I return to the only place I know that feels like home, even though it’s just a shadow of what once was. I can’t help but wonder if going here hurts me or helps me. But this is where I end up each time.

Back at the beginning. Back at the end.

I can’t escape this place.

I can’t escape my mistakes and I know I never will.

I fall to my knees in the middle of the grove, under the pink leaves of the cherry trees. And I feel so weak. I’m so drained. I’m devastated.

“Do I deserve to die?” I ask the ghosts.

They never answer.

“I’m sure you think I do,” I say. “I deserve to die after what I did to you. I deserve to be punished. I deserve to be unhappy for the rest of my life.

“That’s why he left me alive. He left me to pay for my mistake by living without you. He left me here so I’d have to suffer each day.

“And I… I miss you so much. I miss all of you. I’m so deeply sorry for everything.”

I bow my head hoping that somehow they’ll hear me. I know they would never forg