MasukThe box dug into my palms, its corners biting through cheap cardboard as I hauled it up the narrow flight of stairs. My arms trembled with the effort, but it wasn't just the weight, it was the exhaustion of the whole day, the whole move, and the whole new beginning I wasn't sure I was ready for.
"Almost there," Mariah puffed behind me, her voice was half encouraging, half mocking. She was balancing a stack of kitchen pans like a circus act. Her braids stuck to her forehead with sweat, and her T-shirt was darkened with damp patches.
I laughed under my breath, more out of habit than humor. My own T-shirt was clinging to me like a second skin, the August heat squeezing the last ounce of energy from my body.
The hallway smelled faintly of paint and stale pizza, the kind of mix that clung to student housing like an unshakable curse. My new apartment, tiny, overpriced, off-campus, sat at the very end. It wasn't much, but it was mine. No more dorms with girls crying through walls at three in the morning, no more pretending to be okay with constant company, and no more strangers walking in without knocking.
At least, that was the hope.
We dropped the boxes in the living room with twin groans. The place was still half-empty, echoing with every step. Beige carpet. Off-white walls. A little balcony with a view of the parking lot. It wasn't glamorous, but for the first time in years, the silence belonged to me.
Mariah flopped onto the sagging couch I'd rescued from F******k Marketplace and fanned herself with a takeout menu, then threw me a look. "You happy now, hermit? No one around to bother you."
I rolled my eyes. "Exactly how I like it," and I meant it. The idea of solitude had been the carrot dangling in front of me all summer.
Mariah tilted her head. "You'll be crawling back to the noise in two weeks. Calling me, whining that it's too quiet, lonely, and too much space for your overthinking brain."
I smirked, crouching to tear the tape off another box. "I'll be fine."
Mariah didn't argue. She just shook her head with a smile. I grabbed the last box and pushed back out into the stairwell. My arms were already shaking, but I told myself it was the final trip. One last climb and I'd be settled.
I paused.
Halfway down the hall was a shirtless man leaning against a doorframe with earbuds in and his phone in one hand, he was impossible to miss. Sweat glistened across his chest, and his basketball shorts hung low on his hips. His head was tilted slightly, lips moving like he was rapping under his breath.I just... froze.
Not because I hadn't seen hot guys before. Campus was full of them, protein shakes and egos, the whole lot. But something about him felt different... Effortless even. Like he wasn't trying to be seen, but the universe made sure you noticed anyway.
I turned too fast, nearly losing my grip on the box. My pulse tripped over itself, loud and useless. The cardboard scraped my forearm, and I hissed under my breath, stumbling the last few steps to my door.
I didn't dare look back.
Didn't need to. I could feel his eyes, or maybe I just wanted to believe he'd noticed me too.
I dropped the box inside, pressing my palm to my chest as I'd just sprinted.
Mariah peeked up from the couch, brow arched. "What's with you?"
"Nothing," I said too fast. "Just... last box."
She smirked, clearly unconvinced. "You look like you saw a ghost- or.... a dick. Which was it?"
"Neither," I muttered, crouching to open the box.
I busied myself with slicing the tape off the box, stacking cookbooks into neat piles I didn't have a shelf for yet.
Mariah let out an exaggerated groan and fanned herself with the menu again. "It's too damn hot in here. My soul is melting." She kicked off her sneakers, legs dangling over the arm of the couch. "And I'm starving. If I don't eat soon, I'm going to chew through one of your precious cookbooks."
I laughed, despite myself, and shook my head. "Go shower. I'll order us something."
Her eyes lit up like I'd offered her a spa weekend. "Darling! I knew I kept you around for a reason." She hopped up, already stripping off her T-shirt as she padded toward the bathroom.
I watched her go, rolling my eyes at her dramatics but smiling all the same. Mariah was... one of a kind. The kind of person who could make a room feel lighter just by stepping inside. She was loud where I was quiet, reckless where I was careful, but she understood me in a way most people never tried to. She got that my social battery ran out fast, and sometimes I disappeared into myself without warning. She didn't judge me for it. She just... let me be. That was the gift of Mariah.
The shower sputtered to life a moment later. I sighed and peeled off my sweat-soaked T-shirt, dropping it on the couch. The air conditioner was still dead, the landlord promising it would be fixed before the week was out. Until then, I'd be living in a sauna.
Down to my lace bra and shorts, I knelt in front of the last open box, pulling out the neat stack of cookware I couldn't survive without. The metal clinked softly as I lined everything up, arranging and rearranging until it felt right.
I grabbed my phone and queued up BTS songs, turning the volume just high enough to drown out the muffled singing drifting from the shower. The beat filled the space, giving me something to move with as I worked.
I placed the last stack of books on the bedside table when I remembered the takeout. If I didn't order now, Mariah would kill me. A few taps later, confirmation blinked on my phone screen, and I tucked it away, satisfied. One less thing spinning in my head.
I was so absorbed in folding sweaters into neat, color-coded rows that I almost didn't hear Mariah's footsteps padding out of the bathroom. She hummed, towel-drying her hair, when a sudden knock rattled the door.
Mariah's head snapped up, eyes sparkling like trouble. "Ooo, your neighbors are so nice. Did they bring the pies already?" She cackled before I could answer, padding straight for the knob.
"Mariah, wait..." I started suddenly feeling a pit in my stomach, though I couldn't name why. It wasn't dread exactly, but it was enough to make my pulse trip over itself as I turned toward the door. She pulled it open, grin first.
I drew in a long, unsteady breath, willing the memories to loosen their grip on me. They didn't disappear. They never quite did. But I had become better at recognising when the past was trying to pull me under, and, with considerable effort, I brought my attention back to the woman sitting across from me.Dr. Goldilock's eyes were glossy. "I managed to testify against him," I continued. "I stood in that courtroom, answered every question, listened to them read out the things he'd done to me, and watched them take him away after he was declared insane. And everyone seemed to think that was supposed to be the end of it."My fingers found the edge of my sleeve. "But it wasn't the end for me. I still don't feel normal, Doctor. I don't know what normal is supposed to feel like anymore. Some mornings, I wake up, and everything is fine. The sun is shining, and I can almost convince myself that I'm just another girl having an ordinary day. Then a door slams, or somebody raises their voice, or
August arrived with a rare, stagnant Surrey heatwave that turned the air inside my old bedroom thick and heavy. The sash window was propped open with an old copy of a pastry textbook, but no breeze came through, only the distant, mocking drone of lawnmowers from the neighboring gardens and the oppressive scent of sun-baked asphalt.Downstairs, the house existed in a state of suspended animation. My mother had stopped going to work her entire life had shrunk to the perimeter of our kitchen, where she spent hours preparing meals I could barely swallow. My father sat in the study for days, the low, grave murmur of his voice bleeding through the floorboards as he spoke with detectives from the police station and the Crown Prosecution Service."Nyelle?"The door creaked open, and my brother stepped in. He held a small, plastic container of fresh blackberries, the fruit dark and shiny."I found these by the old railway track," he said, trying for a light, easy tone that cracked at the edges
By July, the heat became heavy. "We're just going down to the salon for an hour," Mariah announced. She was adjusting her earrings in the hallway mirror. "You don't have to talk to anyone, El. You can sit in the back breakroom. I just want you to get some fresh air. The apartment is starting to smell like trapped dust."I sat on the edge of the sofa. The thought of stepping onto the asphalt, of being exposed beneath the open glare of the July sun, made my stomach violently churn."I can't, Mariah," I whispered.She stopped fixing her jewelry. Her shoulders dropped, a heavy, exhausted slump passing through her frame before she turned around. She walked over and knelt on the carpet."Nyelle, it's been over two months," she whispered softly, her fingers trembling as she reached out to rest her hands on my knees. "He's behind concrete walls. The lawyers are handling the depositions. Malik is breaking himself into pieces down at that rink because you won't even look at his messages. You'r
The interior smelled aggressively of rubbing alcohol, burnt coffee, and the sharp, synthetic scent of plastic upholstery. Two paramedics in navy uniforms worked over me in a synchronized, silent dance as they cut away the mud-slicked sleeve. I lay perfectly still on the narrow stretcher, my bare feet sticking out from beneath a thermal blanket that felt like sandpaper against my skin."Trachea is midline. Laceration across the anterior neck is superficial, but it's close to the carotid," a female voice muttered above me. She was pressing a thick pad of gauze against my collarbone, her fingers smelling faintly of spearmint gum. "Pulse is ninety-eight. She's in deep shock. Look at her pupils."I didn't look at her. I kept my eyes fixed on the ceiling. The side door of the ambulance rattled, and a heavy weight shifted onto the bench beside my stretcher.Malik.He sat in the cramped space, his large frame bent forward, his elbows resting on his knees. His knuckles were split open. A deep,
Lloyd was sitting at the kitchen table meticulously cleaning his basketball shoes with an old rag.A soft, rushing noise similar to an empty radio frequency or a distant waterfall broke through the silence. It came from a small, battery-operated weather radio Lloyd kept on the windowsill to track the mountain storms. "...repeating the description for residents in the tri-county area... gray sedan, older model..."He froze. Slowly, he turned his head toward the window."No," he whispered, his voice dropping into that frantic, rhythmic cadence I hadn't heard since the dead of winter. He stood up instantly. "Someone tampered with the file. Someone changed the code."A sudden, violent spike of adrenaline crashed through my chest, breaking through the numb fog that had kept me docile for weeks. My pulse began to hammer against my ribs."Nyelle," Lloyd snapped, turning his gaze onto me. He marched across the room, his large hand clamping around the back of my neck with a bruising grip. "Di
The heavy March rains finally stopped, leaving the mud to dry under a weak, pale spring sun. I woke up to the smell of browning butter and onions drifting up the stairs, a scent so jarringly domestic it felt like a hallucination. My stomach, shrunk from months of starvation rations, cramped violently at the aroma. I slowly walked into the kitchen, wearing a faded gray hoodie of his, Lloyd was standing by the woodstove. He was chopping fresh garlic on the wooden table. A basket of actual groceries sat beside him on the counter, containing flour, eggs, a carton of milk, and a bundle of fresh herbs. He must have hiked out to his hidden vehicle in the dead of night to get them.He looked up, his eyes softening into a warm, crinkling smile that looked terrifyingly like the boy I had met at 2:07 a.m. in my DMs a year ago."Morning, Nyelle," he cooed, his voice entirely devoid of the jargon he'd been spouting all winter. "I figured you were tired of oatmeal. I'm making a rustic chicken fri







