The water reminded me of the coldness

Tears that streamed down my face got carried away by the water in which I was... sinking. 

"I didn't do it, I didn't do it, I DIDN'T DO IT!!." I kept thinking to myself as I shut my eyes, wanting this horrible nightmare to end and wake up any moment. But that wasn't the case. My body kept slowly drifting down into the bottomless ocean of water. "Even nightmares aren't as horrible as my life." 

I didn't want myself to end up this way. I had greater aims and dreams. It is said that right before the death of a person, they start recalling their precious moments spent on Earth.The moment I shut my eyes, a short and bitter film of my life started playing in my mind. I guess I really was going to die.

....

I was just an ordinary boy who dreamt of becoming a science teacher because of my love of stars and constellations. I wasn't a bright kid and was really timid. That was one of the reasons why I was dying without anyone to cry beside my grave, if my body was ever found.

It'd been 2 years ever since my father divorced my mother and left me and my 1 month old sister in my mother's care. Obviously enough, it was hard for her to carry the expenses of me and my sister, Emily. She used to work in a small company but the amount of money she earned from her job wasn't enough. 

She went into a state of depression and started relying on drugs and alcohol. 

One day she threw a tantrum, cursing and stumbling across the street. I found her on my way home from a grocery store and brought her back home. I'd had enough of it. "Mom, please! You need to stop!!"I barged straight into her room and smacked her hand away which was reaching to grab the small bottle of drugs from her bed.

"How dare you do that, you insolent brat!? I told you to look after Emily, didn't I?!" She raised her hand in the air to slap me but her angered expression turned into surprise when she found herself wrapped in the warmth of my embrace. 

"It's okay, mom. Everything will be alright." I patted her head. 

Her eyes stung and she couldn't control her emotions anymore. She bursted into tears and hugged me tightly. "I-I am so sorry that I can't give you the life you deserve, Rai..."  

I just had a blank and empty expression when she told me that. I wasn't surprised. It had always happened like that. One moment she apologises and the next moment she loses it-

"Aaarrrgghh!! Why are you here?!!" She shoved me to the ground and I winced in pain but recovered from it quickly.

"Goodnight, mom." I flashed a sad and sympathetic smile at her before leaving the room.  

*Next morning* 

Rays of golden sunlight filled my bedroom. I fluttered open my eyes as I felt the bright sunlight against my eyes. I yawned as I lazily rose from my bed and completed the routine of brushing my teeth and getting ready for school. 

I headed out to the dining room expecting my mother to be in the kitchen making breakfast. But to my surprise, she wasn't there. 

"Mom? Mom! Are you still sleeping?" I called out to her. "Maybe she's in her room.." I thought as I casually made my way to her room. 

I gasped in shock and disgust when I opened the door. "N-No way... Emily.." I felt a knot in my stomach as I fell to the ground in shock. Adrenaline rushed through my veins when I saw my mother standing next to the blood soaked and injured body of my little sister with a knife in her blood covered hand and a sickening grin on her face. 

She threw her head back and laughed insanely. "HAHAHAHA!!!" 

"Why did you do this?!!" I couldn't control the anger welling up inside me. 

*Thwakk* 

The sound of my hand smacking my mother's face resonated in the dead silence. I couldn't believe I had done it but I masked my surprise with my anger. She slowly looked from me to my sister with a surprised and horrified face. "W-What did I...NO!!" She fell next to Emily cried her lungs out when her stabbed body came in view.  

"Why did you do this to Emily?! What did she ever to do you?!!" I lashed out at her and began to weep next to my sister's corpse. 

"I-I...Rai...I didn't mean to...." She couldn't find any words to explain herself. 

"It's all my fault! All my fault! And I will pay for that. Rai, please take care of yourself..." She smiled sadly. 

"Huh? What do you mea-!?" I gasped when I saw my mother plunging the knife into her chest. Blood spurted out of her chest and some of it splattered onto my face as I watched her fall to the ground with a thud. I rushed to her side and nudged her arm, "You're there, right? Mom? Mom!" 

"N-No...this is not happening. This is not happening...it has to be a dream. Wake up, Rai. Wake up!!" I slapped and pinched myself several hard times to wake up from this nightmare but it wasn't working. It was real— All of it was real. My face turned pale and out of blood. I stood up and backed away from the corpses of my mother and sister. 

"I-I have to get out of here...."