로그인MADISON
I’ve called more than five bicycle shops nearby, but the response is always the same: “Get a new bike,” they say, as if it’s given out for free.
It’s not that I can’t afford a new bike. In fact, besides my tuition and the extra money my parents usually add to my account for living expenses, I also have eighty-three thousand dollars for the Range Rover my parents promised to get me as soon as I got my driving permit. But knowing that even if I got a new bike Caden would just continue to destroy it, I’d rather have my old one repaired.
Fortunately, I finally got through to a polite guy who took down my home address and offered to help later in the evening as part of his off-site service. I don’t know how to feel, because that means I won’t be getting my textbooks today. Great. Caden has succeeded in ruining my day, as usual. How sad.
I go back to the apartment and turn on the sixty-inch television after grabbing a bag of nacho cheese Doritos and a coffee mug. The place is a moderately sized room combined with a kitchen and dining area. It came furnished, so Mom didn’t have to worry about getting new stuff for us.
In the living room area, the dark wooden floor is covered with a comfortable beige rug. There are two leather couches with cozy, small, multicolored square pillows, a recliner, and a set of wooden coffee tables and end tables on each side of the couches. The television is mounted against the white wall above the fireplace. To the left, we have our bookshelf filled with books and some wall frames. Behind the living area is the kitchen, where we have a side‑by‑side refrigerator and built‑in appliances, including a dishwasher. Next to the worktop is a four‑seat dining table.
The apartment is a compact two‑bedroom, one‑bathroom place with a small laundry room. Although Caden’s bedroom is the biggest, mine has enough space, too.
After flipping through different channels, I settle on watching Friends. That show has always managed to make me smile after every fight and argument with Caden. I think that’s what I need right now while I angrily stuff chips into my mouth.
I want to call Mom, but the family video call is scheduled for later in the evening, which means I have to wait for hours until Caden gets home. Still, I feel restless about not having my things ready, so the comedy show doesn’t work as well as it used to. What makes me feel slightly better is cussing Caden out loud and hitting the couch repeatedly.
I don’t even care about making myself an elaborate meal. I just rely on the party‑sized bag of Doritos and bottled water until evening. That jerk stays out for almost the entire day. It’s already 5:47 p.m., and there is no sign of him.
I don’t know where to direct my anger until an idea comes to mind. Oh, this is perfect. I smile just as wickedly as Caden would when my legs take me toward his bedroom.
Bingo.
His keys are still in the lock, hanging from his door. That makes it easier for me. I enter his bedroom and lock the door behind me, leaving the keys in their place. This means he won’t be able to use another key to enter. He won’t have access to his belongings or a place to sleep. Even better, no room for him to bring unknown girls.
Feeling like Lord Baelish after successfully executing a plot, I walk over to the window.
This apartment is different from our house back in New York. Of course it is. Our home is a single‑family, two‑story building, while this is a tall five‑story building, and we’re on the fourth floor. But I’m skilled when it comes to situations like sneaking from window to window, so I’m confident it will be just like any other time. I just need to avoid looking down.
Taking deep breaths, I first slide my legs through the window before pushing my whole body out and relying on the thin bricks supporting my feet and fingers as I move like a spider against the outside wall.
I should be grateful for the days when I went camping after my dad ran away. I learned different things from hanging out with other kids. I’m pretty sure no cops or residents have spotted me yet, because if I were caught in this situation, I’d end up in jail. These are the kinds of things only Caden is capable of making me do.
Just when I think I’m almost there, I miss a step and almost lose my grip.
“Shitttt.” I curse as my right foot probably lands on an air‑conditioning unit. Suddenly my nose starts getting congested in an open space. The hell? Seriously? Now?
“Shit, what the hell are you doing?” someone’s panicked voice calls out.
Great. Now I’m caught. I’m going to jail.
“I’m trying to get through the window,” I reply to the voice without attempting to locate its source.
“Are you sneaking into someone’s apartment? I should call the police.”
So the suspicious person isn’t some heroic Superman; instead, he’s just a jerk.
Irritated, I force myself to look below. I see a young guy with red hair peeping from the window on the third floor. I don’t get a chance to scan his full features like I would if I weren’t wall‑walking, trying to save my life at the moment.
“That’s my apartment, you idiot,” I spit out, fighting the urge not to sneeze, because then I’d lose my balance.
“Your apartment? And you’re climbing the wall to get in? Ever heard of the entrance door?” he asks sarcastically.
Huffing, I frown. I’d rather the cops see me than this ridiculous jerk of a person.
“Either you shut up and mind your own business or—” I stop myself before uttering things I don’t mean, like asking for help from some, probably a dork who does nothing but provoke his neighbors through the window. I hope he can see how much I don’t need his help. I’ve got this. I’ve done this before. All I need is for him to get out of my way.
I manage to retrace my steps and keep moving closer to my window.
“Do you need help?” His tone is cautious and concerned.
“No, I don’t! Not from neighborhood gossips,” I snap at him as I grab my window frame and start pulling my body into my bedroom.
“Clearly, you don’t.” He amusingly rolls his eyes and disappears into his lousy apartment, I guess.
How wonderful. We have another jerk in the building. Yay. Duh.
Anyway, I’m more excited about accomplishing my mission than worrying about some red‑haired neighbor trying to ruin my triumph. I lean against the wall and giggle as I imagine my stepbrother’s face when he realizes he has no place to sleep tonight.
The sudden sound of the doorbell startles me, and I immediately get to my feet. Caden has the keys, so who could it possibly be? Unless he threw them away for his own satisfaction.
I haven’t finished contemplating the possibility when I open the door and find myself staring into a pair of brown eyes. My eyebrows furrow.
“Excuse me?”
“I’m Jake, from the bicycle shop,” he says, with a cute, infectious smile.
Instantly, a smile forms on my face. “Oh, sorry, I was in the middle of something. Uhm…” I stumble over my words.
He seems a bit nervous, glancing down the hall and back at me. “I can come back tomorrow.”
“No, I mean, I was… You have no idea how much I need that bicycle before tomorrow,” I say, shaking my head.
“Okay, cool,” he says, readjusting the backpack on his shoulder, clearly nervous.
“Thank you for coming. I’ll show you the bicycle even though it’s right there,” I say, and close the door behind me before pointing to the wrecked thing beside him.
He stifles a laugh. “Alright, I think I’ll take a look at it outside. Is that okay with you?” he asks.
“Yes, I’ll help you with the broken saddle and handlebar,” I offer, picking up the two sad parts that Caden managed to ruin.
We take the elevator to the first floor and head to a backyard probably meant for the residents of my building to use. It’s currently empty and has a peaceful atmosphere. I have a feeling this place and I are going to become good friends. I’ve always enjoyed quiet places since I was young. It was my way of escaping the constant arguments between my parents. Then my mom married Caden’s dad, and I started getting bullied by Caden every day, so hiding became my thing.
Jake starts unpacking his equipment, and I sit on a cement bench, taking in the calmness as I watch him do what he’s best at.
It’s getting dark when we decide that he’ll take my bicycle with him, and I can use his instead until tomorrow, when he’ll have mine ready and working again. I think that will work, and even though I have the urge to scream out how much I hate Caden, I manage to smile and appear grateful. And I truly am grateful.
“Tomorrow evening then?” he asks after I inform him that I’ll be at school until two in the afternoon.
“Yup, thank you once again,” I say, smiling as I enter the building, bringing Jake’s brown Kona bike with me.
This time, I don’t leave the bicycle outside. I take it with me into the apartment. I can’t let Caden wreck something that doesn’t belong to me.
As I turn the key until the door makes a clicking sound, I step into the living room. Suddenly, it’s as clear as day that I’m not alone. And I’m certain it’s none other than Caden, because I spot his backpack on the couch just as I hear a woman giggling from the one place where his escapades should never happen, my innocent bedroom.
Oh, for heaven’s sake!
MADISONWhile watching him walk out of the room, an idea pops into my head.Ever since we moved here, none of us has enjoyed the full benefits of this apartment, and I’m talking about the jacuzzi.This is happening tonight.Giggling to myself, I slip out of the dress and hurry into the closet, pull out the drawers, and grab a red bikini I’ve never worn.As I hurriedly get ready, I have to peep at the door every so often. I brush my hair, apply red lipstick, and a little perfume before sneaking out of the room to the deck, where the jacuzzi is completely cold, given the time of year.However, I carry every intention of having Caden taste what it feels like in the water.His whole life, he’s been afraid of water. I’m sure he doesn’t know how to swim.I don’t think I can ever erase the fear I saw in those hazel eyes when he found me under the full bathtub. It was like his soul was yanked from his body. He was scared—he never gets that scared, not even during his nightmares, which don’t c
CADENIt has been two weeks since I got discharged from the hospital.Through those days, I got the chance to taste forgiveness and the denouement. It feels like being reborn.Well, that’s after learning Avery won’t be showing her face anywhere around California. Since Paxton visited her, Keith said she transferred schools and left town for good.My dad and Martha stayed for those weeks, though. During that time, they have been nothing but supportive.Dad kept his word, just like he said in the hospital. The man wakes up early every morning to go for a run, and now I’m afraid it has become a part of him.In those limited days, he encouraged me to overcome some of my guilt. I found myself realizing I was just a kid when Cara died, and there was nothing I could’ve done to change what happened that day.We communicated every chance we got. He told me more about his parents, helped me with my homework even when it’s not necessary.“Hey. I know it’s illegal, but since you’re married, I was
CADENDad lets out a frustrated laugh and sinks into the sofa behind him, allowing the three of us to process his admission.“It doesn’t matter anyway.” He smiles at both Mad and me. “What matters is that I let them implicate me, and I turned out to be somehow like them. Not knowing how to give my own child the love they owe me. I thought it was because of my hatred for men like my fathers, but honestly, it’s a curse. Maybe I am cursed,” he whispers.I stand still, holding onto the scream in my chest.“Caden, I never hated you; you just reminded me of memories I was trying to withdraw from. You look everything like me growing up. So, I pushed you away.”“I—I…” Mad begins but stops. She must also be in shock.Martha lowers herself next to him on the sofa. He glances at her and drops his eyes to the floor.“Look, I was a coward. It sucks not being able to fight your demons. But I’ve lost enough… I will not lose my son over what happened in my past. I wouldn’t lose any one of you for tha
CADENThat same day, after Mad returned, freshly showered and dressed in a pink loose-knit sweater, she has my leg on her thighs, massaging it tenderly.Martha, on the other hand, is informing us about my progress, believing I might be discharged soon.She babbles about transferring schools, mentions the possibility of moving back, and even entertains the idea of seeking vengeance on whoever is responsible. Somehow, I believe she might mean it.Martha is a nice person; Mad is lucky to have her as a mother.My mother, if she is alive, has probably forgotten about me, let alone knows I’m on a hospital bed right now.But with these two women around, I’m at ease and even grateful for life. Then Dad chooses to butcher the harmony in the space and walks in, seizing the happiness in my space once again.He advances into the room, hands in his jean pockets, seeming timid, like how I’d act back at home when he would sit across the living room, watching basketball all by himself.The moment he
CADENThe kiss didn’t go as I wanted, for we had talked through most of it. Furthermore, we ended up getting interrupted by the creaking sound of the door.Dear Lord!When the fucking door finally opens, it reveals a funny-looking doctor and a weird-haired woman, presumably the sidekick, both gaping at me.God, I hate hospitals. The fact that I manage my quarterly STD tests by sending samples to a laboratory from home should tell you enough. I’m not going to lie—I had my fair share of STDs at the start of my pussy comfort discovery phase. Since then, even with precautions, regular testing has become a habit, until recently. Now that I think about it, when last did I take that? Then again, it’s been only Mad, and that gives me a comfort I didn’t know I needed. Hell, I know I needed.“That position is indecent for your situation,” the doctor indicated, his eyes shifting between Mad and me.What? She’s just lying next to me.Is he saying he prefers the doggy position?“I missed her so mu
MADISONTwenty-four hours, Mom had said.I’ve been through nightmares, but honestly, nothing compares to the tormenting twenty-one hours that came after, because those were the longest and toughest hours I’ve ever lived.Not that anything eventful happened though; after all, all the catastrophe I had been worried about had resulted in this moment.For instance, Caden getting shot, Dad and Kane in the same building, society devouring the news of my love life.Each situation had its itching weight. And for now, we are talking about crucial problems, because I thought for the sake of my mental health, I should push back the pressure of the minor problems. Even when it includes who shot Caden.Believe me, the temptation to solve that mystery and get THAT PERSON THE CORRECT JUSTICE THEY DESERVED is sitting in the front row of my chest, but I dare myself to focus on one thing only, which is Caden’s survival.So back when I said, “worse than a nightmare,” I meant, after those twenty-one hour
CADEN“I am so excited about this. I can’t believe Kane has such a good heart even though he went through prison,” Mad says beside me.“Mmm…” I mumble, not wanting to talk about him.Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful he talked to the lieutenant and got me the freedom that I didn’t deserve. It’s jus
CADENMad heads down to her room to get ready, and I grab my phone from the worktop and pull up Square Pie Guys on DoorDash. I start with the pizza toppings, then move on to sides, desserts, and drinks.I've already got a solid lineup of dipping sauces, but Mad might have something else in mind. I
MADISONQuickly, I plop down opposite him, my legs folded, my eyes almost disconnecting from their sockets.He didn’t say his mom drowned him, did he? I must have heard him wrong.With a throbbing heart, I ask, “Caden, did you say your mother drowned you?”“Every day, for seven days.” His lips pres
MADISONAfter Caden left me stranded in the bathroom, confused about what just happened, I muster up the strength to follow after him. I am not letting this slide like it never happened.I saw him. It wasn’t just some instinctive reaction about someone’s safety. What happened has to do with somethi







