BULLIED

"If you weren't so fat, maybe the ring would have been your size!"

That was the angry voice of my boyfriend, Steven.

He drew attention, and the other buyers at the jewelry shop stared at us.

Today was supposed to be my engagement day, since Steven didn't know my size, so he popped the big question before we set out to get the ring.

"Baby, can we try another one, please?"

I managed to say that with a smile on my face.

"Are you deaf?!"

He yelled so loudly that I lost the power to hold back, and hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I felt my legs grow weak and my heart pounding painfully.

"We have larger sizes for her to try, sir," the jewelry store owner suggested politely, coming to my rescue.

But he wasn't willing to give it a try.

"It doesn't matter what size you have-it won't suck those fats away! I'm fed up with this."

This time, every head in the shop turned towards us, and all eyes were on us as the scene was established just as Steven had wanted.

I felt like a clown.

The jewelry store owner was left in an awkward situation, unsure how to convince him to buy the ring.

The people watching started murmuring to one another.

"Another day of making people think I am a monster in public, good job, Beauty! I am done."

He snapped and walked out coldly.

"Steven!"

"Steven, please!"

I cried out, but he didn't look back or act like he knew that name.

The door closed, and another customer entered the room.

I stood there with my head down, crying bitterly. I opened my tear-blurred eyes to see my cold feet... big-sized feet.

Not the feet a feminine lady should have.

"Don't worry, he will change his mind. That I am sure of."

The jewelry woman's voice came.

She was trying to console me.

I pressed my lips and nodded, but couldn't look up out of embarrassment, knowing that all eyes were now on me after that scene.

Slowly, like a dying rat, I walked out of the jewelry shop, my steps weak and unsteady, her vision blurry with tears.

And that was how my once beloved fiancé dumped me because my chubby finger couldn't fit into my engagement ring.

Right there, in the middle of the jewelry shop, he broke up with me and dumped me.

He wasn't just fed up with the ring not fitting-he was fed up with me. Just like Tim, like Nathan, and now Steven. They all dumped me at the slightest chance.

I inherited my father's genes, and from a very young age, I had been bullied because of my size.

In middle school, I became self-destructive and attempted suicide many times just to end it all. But it didn't stop-the name-calling, the bullying.

The class whale.

Fatty.

Unfortunately, as an adult, it was even worse than I had imagined.

I hated myself so much. Ever since my last relationship, I have never had the desire to look good, apply makeup, or, you know, feel like every other young woman out there.

For what? To get used and dumped again?

Fat is ugly. I am fat. Beauty is a privilege. Unfortunately, I am the opposite of my name-

Beauty.

And my first love?

Tim, he dumped me after our first night together. He made his intentions known to me.

I thought I was going to die back then.

He didn't even put up a fake act for two weeks or so before breaking up with me. He never considered my feelings.

"It's my first time," I remember telling him.

His reply was just emotionless.

"Yeah, I can see the red stain."

Sixteen-year-old me expected more than that reply, but I didn't make a big deal out of it.

After a few minutes of silence, Tim stood up from the bed.

"I'm done."

That statement traumatized me. I didn't even know if I heard him correctly.

"Huh?"

I chuckled, confused. I was naive, thinking he was pulling my leg.

"I only dated you because I wanted to know how it feels to be with a plus-size girl."

"Tim, what are you saying...?" I asked, even more confused.

"Do you think I would ever walk hand in hand with a girl three times my size?"

And that was how my first time became my first heartbreak.