LOGINThe bite healed in a few days, which seemed fast, but I wasn't exactly monitoring it with scientific rigour because I was too busy crying over Ryan Parker and pretending the frat party never happened. It left a faint silver line on my neck that I cover with concealer out of habit. Sometimes the skin there feels warmer than it should. I don't think about it.
I don't know what bit me at that party. I'm choosing not to examine that sentence too closely because I have bigger things to deal with currently.
My mom has a type – tall, handsome, confident, full of promises that expire within six months. She collects them the way some people collect stamps or bad habits – methodically and with an optimism that would be inspiring if it didn't always end with her crying in the bathroom at 2 AM while I pretended to be asleep on the other side of the wall.
There was the one who drank. The one who yelled. The one who did both at the same time and then bought her roses the next morning like petals could undo a bruised rib. I stopped learning their names after boyfriend number four because it felt like memorizing the roster of a team that kept getting relegated, and I was tired of showing up to games that always ended the same way.
So when she calls me on a Tuesday afternoon, voice pitched high with that specific brand of excitement that means she's met someone new, I pour myself a glass of water and give this one six months. Generous, honestly.
"He's different, baby," she says, and I mouth the words along with her because she's said them about every man she's ever brought home. "He's a professor. He's refined. You'll love him."
I won't love him. I'll be polite and invisible the way I've trained myself to be – small enough to not attract attention, quiet enough to not become a target, boring enough that whoever he is won't notice me at all, which is exactly how I like it.
The restaurant she picks is nicer than her usual, which tells me this one has money. I get there first and order a water and sit with my hands in my lap and my back straight and wait for whatever fresh disaster my mother has dressed up in a blazer and cologne.
Dominic Voss walks in and I understand immediately why my mom fell for him, because the man looks like he was assembled in a lab specifically designed to make middle-aged women lose their entire minds. Tall, lean, dark hair going silver at the temples in a way that shouldn't be attractive but is. His suit fits him like it was sewn while he was wearing it. He shakes my hand and holds it for exactly one second longer than normal, and his eyes meet mine with this flat, assessing quality that makes me feel like I'm being read cover to cover.
"Ivy," he says, like he's tasting the word, and something about the way he says my name makes the back of my neck prickle.
"Nice to meet you," I say, and pull my hand back first because his grip was warm and dry and unsettling in a way I can't explain.
My mom is glowing. She's wearing the earrings she only wears when she wants to impress someone, and her hand is on Dominic's arm, and she's telling me about how they met at a faculty event and how he teaches Advanced Literature at Ashworth – which is my university, which is fine, everything is fine – and then she says the thing that makes my stomach drop.
"His son Knox is about your age, actually. He dropped out of school about a year ago, but Dominic's convinced him to re-enroll at Ashworth, so you two will be on the same campus! Isn't that great?"
I smile and say "that's great" because that's what invisible girls do, and then the restaurant door opens and the air in the room changes the way it does right before a storm rolls in and you can feel the pressure shift against your skin.
Knox Voss does not belong in this restaurant. He belongs on a highway or in the kind of bar that doesn't card you because the bartender is afraid of what you'll do if he asks. He's tall enough that he has to angle his shoulders slightly to avoid the hostess stand, and he's wearing a leather jacket over a black t-shirt that's doing absolutely nothing to hide the tattoos climbing up his neck, and his jaw is the kind of sharp that looks like it could cut you if you ran your thumb across it.
He doesn't greet anyone. He pulls out the chair across from me and drops into it like he owns the building and everyone in it, and then he looks at me — and something about the way his eyes find mine doesn't feel like a first meeting.
There's a recognition in his gaze that I can't place, like he's confirming something he already suspected, and when his nostrils flare slightly as he settles into his chair. I feel the fading scar on my neck go warm under the concealer, and I press my fingers against it without thinking.
He doesn't stop looking at me.
My mom is talking about the wedding plans – which, yes, apparently they're already engaged and I'm finding out at dinner, which tracks – and Dominic is answering in that measured voice of his, and Knox hasn't said a single word since he sat down. His boot presses against mine under the table. I should move my foot. I don't move my foot.
His eyes are grey and steady and they haven't left my face and I am suddenly, acutely aware that my safe, boring, controlled little life is sitting on a fault line and something is about to crack.
Dinner ends. Parking lot. My mom is hugging Dominic by his car and laughing at something he said, and I'm standing by the passenger door waiting for her when Knox materializes next to me like he was built from the shadows between the streetlights.
He catches my wrist before I register that he's moved, and his thumb presses into my pulse point the way you'd check if something was still alive, and his eyes drop to the spot on my neck where the concealer is covering the fading scar and something flickers across his face that's too fast to read, and the scar on my neck goes warm again in a way that has to be coincidental but doesn't feel coincidental.
He counts my heartbeat for four seconds. Then he looks at my face and the corner of his mouth twitches.
"Fast," he says.
He lets go. Walks to his motorcycle at the back of the lot and throws a leg over it without looking back. The engine growls to life and he's gone, and I stand there in the parking lot with my wrist tingling and my heart doing exactly what he said it was doing.
They move in the next day. Knox's bedroom is across the hall from mine. I lie in bed that first night and stare at the ceiling and listen to the unfamiliar sounds of two strangers living in my space and I tell myself that this is fine and temporary and that my mom's relationships have an expiry date and I just have to wait it out the way I always do.
I fall asleep with my door closed and my covers pulled up to my chin.
I wake up because the air in my room is different – heavier and charged with something that smells like leather and skin.
My eyes adjust to the dark and Knox is standing at the foot of my bed, looking down at me with those grey eyes catching the faint light from the window, and his hands are at his belt and the metal clink of the buckle coming undone is the loudest sound I've ever heard.
I should scream. I should tell him to get out. My mom is down the hall and his father is down the hall and he is my stepbrother as of approximately nine hours ago. But something about the way the air changed when he walked in — the heat, the scent, the way the scar on my neck went warm for the third time today — is short-circuiting the part of my brain that knows how to say no. I don't say anything.
I don't say anything.
Theo’s apartment smells like whiskey and unwashed laundry and like he hasn’t opened a window in days.I know something is wrong before I’m fully through the door because Theo Gallagher has kept his apartment clean since we were fifteen, and the boy who alphabetised his spice rack during a study break would not voluntarily live in a room that smells like a bar floor unless something fundamental had been broken.He’s on the couch with a bottle between his knees and his laptop open on the coffee table showing what appears to be a research document about – I lean closer – domestic abuse warning signs?The search history visible in the tab bar includes “signs someone is being controlled by a partner” and “how to report a professor-student relationship,” and the thoroughness of his research makes my chest constrict because Theo doesn’t do anything halfway, which means he is currently most likely applying his specific methodical energy to dismantling my life.Then he turns his head and I see
IVY'S POVHe pushes inside me without warning and the first stroke is hard enough that my bound hands twist in the belt leather and my face turns into the mattress.The sound that comes out of me is a LAUGH - breathless and surprised because the force of him is so excessive and so Knox that the absurdity of it all is hitting me as comedy before it hits me as pleasure, and the comedy makes the pleasure better because nothing in my life makes sense anymore and the not-making-sense has become the thing I crave.He fucks me with the belt around my wrists and his hand on the back of my neck and with his hips driving forward at a pace that my body meets on every stroke - pushing back against him, CHASING the impact instead of absorbing it.The way I feel it, I am not being punished right now, I am being WANTED with a desperation that tastes like the best drug I’ve ever taken.I cum hard and the orgasm breaks through me like sunlight through glass. I feel GOOD. Not guilty or conflicted, not
KNOX’S POVTheo Gallagher’s apartment smells exactly as I expect - like dryer sheets and instant ramen and loneliness.I’m sitting on his couch uninvited with my boots on his coffee table and a beer I took from his fridge sweating in my hand while he stands in the doorway of his own living room looking at me with the expression of a man who is trying to decide whether running would make things worse.It would. For the record.“Door was unlocked,” I say, and take a drink of his beer which is cheap and tastes like someone brewed it in a bathtub, but I’m not here for the hospitality. “You should fix that. Dangerous neighbourhood.”“Get out of my apartment.”“Sit down, Theo.”He doesn’t obey. He stands in the doorway with his keys in his hand and his jaw set and his pulse hammering at a rate I can hear from the couch – a hundred and twelve beats per minute.I respect the not-sitting. It’s stupid, but I respect it.“I’m fucking her.”The words land in his living room the way I intended the
Theo finally looks at me. The crack in his face has widened into something that looks like the beginning of understanding – because the fear on my face which is real and unperformable is carrying information that his rational mind can’t decode but his survival instinct is starting to read.He walks past me and down the stairs, and immediately the front door closes, I stand in my room shaking with the taste of his mouth fading on my lips and the knowledge that the kiss just activated a countdown I cannot stop.I rush to the bathroom.I brush my teeth twice, then I wash my face with soap and water and press a cold cloth against my neck and my wrists, because those are the pulse points where scent concentrates. I learned that from Knox, and I’m now using it to protect Theo FROM him.I’m patting my face dry when the motorcycle engine cuts through the apartment like a blade.He’s home.I hear the front door open and his boots on the hardwood – the deliberate heavy pace that means he’s scan
Theo is sitting on my bed when I get home from The Grind House, and the wrongness of his presence in this room is so acute that my body does a full-system jolt that starts in my chest and radiates outward. For me now, this room belongs to belt buckles and cage-grips and 1:47 AM and the smell of leather, and Theo Gallagher sitting on my duvet with his elbows on his knees and his kind familiar face looking up at me with an expression I’ve been watching form for months is a foreign object in an ecosystem that will reject it.“Your mom let me in,” he says, and the sentence explains the logistics but not the energy he’s carrying, which is the energy of a man who has rehearsed something in his car and driven here before the rehearsal wore off.“Theo, you can’t just–”“I love you.”The words land in the room with no cushion. His eyes are steady on mine, and his hands are gripping his own knees the way Knox grips his knees when he’s saying something that costs him, except that Knox’s knuckles
My mom finds the gossip post before the risotto finishes cooking the next night. I know because she’s standing at the stove with her phone in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other and the exact expression on her face that she gets when she’s reading something she doesn’t fully understand but suspects she should be concerned about – the same expression she wore when boyfriend number two’s ex-girlfriend sent her a Facebook message at midnight and she spent forty minutes at the kitchen table trying to decode the subtext before deciding it was “probably nothing.”“Is there drama at school?” she asks, sliding the risotto bowl across the table with the tone of a woman who hasn’t decided whether to be worried yet. “Someone at book club showed me some campus gossip page. Apparently there’s a photo of a girl on a motorcycle? Beth said it looked like Knox’s bike.”The risotto hits my stomach like cement. Knox’s boot presses against my ankle under the table – not comforting, ASSESSING, monito
IVY’S POVI take a double shift at The Grind House because the apartment has become a warzone that smells like cologne and leather and competing territorial markers, and if I spend one more hour in that building with two wolves circling each other through walls while I stand in the middle leaking e
IVY’S POVI wake up to Knox standing in my doorway and I know from the way his body is filling the frame – vibrating, his hands clenched at his sides with the tendons in his forearms standing out like cables – that the alley wasn’t enough.He’s shirtless and his eyes are gold-ringed in the morning
KNOX’S POVI smell him on her from ten feet away and my vision goes gold before she rounds the corner.She’s walking home from campus in the dark with her bag over one shoulder and her hair still messed up from being pressed against a desk – I know this because the bond has been sending me data for
IVY’S POVHis thumb traces a single line down my spine, and he still hasn’t taken off a single piece of his own clothing.I’m bent over his desk with my shirt pushed to my shoulder blades and my skirt around my waist and he’s standing behind me in a full suit with his tie straight and his sleeves r







