LOGINISABELLA
I slam back into the seat, still trying to regulate my breathing. My heart is hammering from the mix of humiliation and anger. I yank the seatbelt across my chest aggressively, partly to keep myself from opening the damn door and barrel-rolling out of this moving car. Noah glances at me from the corner of his eye. "Good girl." "I will jump out of this car," I murmur. He shakes his head. "You won't." "Watch me." I'm bluffing. I'm definitely bluffing. My mind screams at me. I can't jump out of a moving car. That would be suicide. And as much as I hate my life, I don't have any desire whatsoever to end it so soon, especially not in front of Noah. "I literally carried you here. If you jump, I'll just pick you up and put you back." I groan as the city blurs past us... shops, overgrown hedges, the heat waves... Each bump in the road makes me more acutely aware of how dishevelled I must look... eyeliner smeared, hair messy, skirt wrinkled from being tossed around. I catch Noah staring and I snap. "Don't stare at me." "You look like a kicked puppy," he replies casually. "It's staring at me first." Does he never get tired of calling me names? I'm starting to think he has a secret dictionary of insults he pulls from. "But puppies are cute and they listen." He adds, almost as an afterthought. I whip my head toward him. "Do you enjoy being insufferable or does it come naturally?" "Oh, I'm very talented." I roll my eyes. The silence that stretches for a beat is the good kind. Or at least the neutral kind... considering nothing with Noah is ever actually good. But the silence is enough for my brain to wander back to Hardin. He's never bailed on me like this before. He's always there whenever I need him. I've never had to go through a day like today without him being by my side, so... what's happening? Why is today different? "Your perfect little relationship is already cracking. Didn't take long." Noah cuts into my thoughts, as if he'd been reading my mind. I turn. "You're insane, you know that." My lips are pressed into a thin line as I glare at Noah. For fuck's sake what is his deal? Why does he always have to be a cynical asshole? "Thirty missed calls to Hardin? That's... rough." He whistles. "Honestly, I thought you two would last a bit longer. Maybe, what? Another week?" "Can you not?" My voice is a plea. And it's because I don't want to hear this from him. My relationship with Hardin is what I'd rather not talk about with his brother. But Noah is on a roll. "Look, it's not your fault. You're clingy, he's soft. Terrible combo." "Clingy?" My lashes lift and my jaw drops. "I'm not clingy." He snorts. "I'm just saying. You two are... mismatched. You know, like oil and water." I open my mouth, then close it again. "Mismatched?" I repeat. "You clearly are out of your mind. What are you on? Some hallucinogen? In case you've forgotten, he's my boyfriend. We're happy. We're fine." "Yeah, well." He shrugs. "Soft boys don't last long with girls like you." My mouth falls open. This will be the fourth time it's falling open all because of Noah fucking Hawkins. "Girls like me?" I repeat, when I don't know what else to say. "Yes. Emotional. Dramatic. Easily overwhelmed." My hands clench into fists and my nails dig into my palms. "God, you are the worst human being alive." "No, that's dramatic. But keep trying." I grip the seatbelt so hard it squeaks. Poor seatbelt. "Why do you always assume you know everything about my relationship?" "Because it's too damn easy. Hardin's too soft, you're too... bratty. He folds like paper. You need someone who doesn't crumble when you raise your voice." I scoff. "What? Someone like you?" He does that thing. The click of his tongue and I swear I see red. "Someone who can handle you, Minnie. And before you say you don't need handling, everyone needs handling. Especially you." "Hardin and I are fine," I insist. "We talk, we..." “You tolerate him,” Noah says bluntly. “He worships you. The imbalance is embarrassing to watch, honestly.” “That is not true.” “Sure,” he says, unconvinced. “Keep lying to yourself.” “Why do you even care?” “I don’t.” “You clearly do...” “I just hate watching disasters unfold slowly. Makes me bored.” I snap my head toward him. “You know what, Noah? Maybe mind your business. Maybe stay out of my relationship. Maybe stop projecting your lonely, miserable, serial-hookup issues onto me... It's pathetic. It's sad actually," “Serial hookup?” he says with a raised brow. “You really wanna go there?” He laughs. "You think you can handle that topic?" I clench my jaw. “No wonder you’re single. You're a walking red flag." He pauses. Just half a second. “Never said I wasn’t.” “Oh please,” I scoff, trying to regain my footing. “Who would date you?” “Plenty of people.” “You don’t date,” I say. “I know that for a fact. Everybody knows that. I'm sure the desperate girl you had under you last night knew what she was getting herself into. She probably just wanted a good story, or a quick thrill, because you certainly don't offer anything more. You're a one-night stand machine." “Wow. Getting bold.” “No, I’m being honest. You don’t let anyone get close. You don’t trust people. You don’t open up. You make fun of everything so nothing ever matters. That’s why you jump from girl to girl. That’s why nothing sticks.” His smirk fades slightly. His knuckles are bone white on the steering wheel. But I don’t stop. Because I'm too mad at him to think about stopping. I'm in desperate need to wound him as deeply as he's wounded me. “You’re angry, guarded and too broken to actually love someone or even let someone care about you.” Noah goes very, very still. His eyes are fixed on the road ahead, but they seem to be staring through it, into nothing. His entire body is rigid. There's no smirk. No comeback. Nothing. Just silence. Utter scary silence. I instantly feel sick. Guilty heat crawls up my neck. “Noah… I... I didn’t mean...” He keeps his eyes on the road, jaw flexing once, twice. “I shouldn’t have said that,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.” Nothing. “Noah,” I try again, softer. “Please. That was too far. I was angry, I... I shouldn’t have said that to you.” Still nothing. The silence is louder than all our shouting combined. “Noah… look at me.” He doesn’t. My chest tightens. I’ve never seen him like this.ISABELLA"I'm not arguing. I just... worry about you. We all worry about you. Ever since he left, you haven't been the same, and you know it. You keep hiding the way you truly feel behind little things. You enjoy the little happiness that comes from small things. We are worried about you, Bella.""You don't worry about people who are fine."Chloe finally turns, running a hand through her hair. "Fine. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying it like that. And for worrying about my best friend."I watch her closely. "That will work." I smile reluctantly. Mostly because I do not have the sheer strength to argue. Or to be taught. Or to be lectured about what I already know. I don't need any of that."Yeah. Where is she going?" She nods to Nadia who has toddled over to the couch, attempting to climb it. She lets out a little grunt when she slips, then she tries again. I move to her, lifting her easily and settling her on the cushion. "There my love," I murmur, as she beams at me. Chloe rolls her
Three Years Later.ISABELLAI'm staring at the fresh ink on my thigh, with a content smile on my face. It's an infinity symbol. Very small, compared to the ink I've got on my back. I wonder what Derek will say when he sees this one. He always has something to say.My hair, now longer and darker than it was at nineteen, falls forward, shielding my face as I lean down to inspect the work. At twenty-two, my face has lost its soft roundness. All I can see when I look at the mirror are sharp edges and distant eyes.Suddenly, a pair of hands clap onto the shoulder. "Boo!"I jump, looking up to see Chloe's grinning face. In her arms is a toddler with curls and chubby cheeks. I grin at Nadia. She looks so much like her mother even at two. Yes. Nadia is Chloe and Leo's daughter. Those two really went all in when they had this little girl. "Got you," Chloe says."You are the worst," She steps forward, drops Nadia on the floor and wraps one arm around me carefully. "You look good, bestie." She
ISABELLAThe sunlight filtering through the gaps in the curtains is too bright, and for the first time in weeks, I don't want to hide from it. I stretch out across the sheets. My body feels heavy, but in a good way... relaxed, cherished, aglow. Last night was fun, hot and definitely going to be repetitive. I smile, reaching out a hand to the other side of the bed, expecting to feel his heat. Empty. The sheets are cold.I sit up, pushing my hair out of my face with a small smile. Of course, he's probably in the kitchen, I think. Noah's little gestures are what make him a better man. I groan, sliding out of bed and grabbing one of his discarded flannels from the floor and slipping it on. It swallows me whole.I head to the bathroom first, humming under my breath. After brushing my teeth and worrying about my bleeding gums, I turn the shower on, letting the steam fill the room as I catch my reflection in the mirror. My lips are slightly swollen, and there’s a faint bruise on my collarb
NOAHI love her. I love her enough to leave. I love her enough to let her hate me as long as she keeps her scholarship and her dreams. I can't choose myself. I've never been worth choosing anyway. The bourbon in my hand hasn't done its job. It was supposed to numb the image of Kol's smug face. It did nothing. I still see him pointing at me and jeering."I’m a fucking coward," I whisper, closing my eyes."Noah?"I force my eyes open. Is she really standing there? Or are my eyes deceiving me? Or... maybe it's the alcohol. "Are you kidding me?" Oh shit. It's her. It's fucking her! She starts moving toward me. "Do you have any idea what time it is? I’ve been calling you! Giovanni didn't know where you were, and I’ve been walking around like a crazy person looking for you!"She reaches me and grabs my arm, hauling me upward with more strength than I expected. "You’re wasted! Do you smell yourself?"I let her pull me. This is it. I should tell her. But my mouth doesn't open and I all I d
NOAHI've always known that my brother is a coward. But then... I didn't know that his cowardliness surpassed all understanding. I didn't know that he was tethering. Any moment from now, he'd be falling into a pit he dug for himself. Sure enough, I didn't call her. I'd been running around, seeing staff, trying to placate the higher-ups who would take a bribe, just so Isabella's dorm room could remain dormant. I mean, she can't leave my apartment. Not now. Not ever. And if it means paying double or triple for that empty dorm room in the stupid fucking fancy hostel, I will. But then what's his excuse? What reason does he have? I think of all he could possibly use and everything is useless. It makes me even wonder. The Hardin I used to know would never do such a thing. He was reckless and a fake but then... he didn't play about his girl. He adored her. I used to think he was a better option for her. Until he was not.I run a hand through my hair, shaking it a little as I kill the engin
ISABELLAGiovanni is sitting on one of the grey couches as I enter, my duffel bag in my hand. The straps are fucking digging into my palm, and my fingers are already sore from gripping them. I stare around the place, breathing in the familiar calming scent."Hey," He says, raising a hand. "Hi," I tell him, forcing my feet to move as I walk inside fully. "Is... Noah home?" He shrugs, before smiling that annoying smile he always gives. "Don't know. Go check." "Gio..." I don't have the time for this. I inhale, narrowing my eyes. "Is he home?""Yes. Can't you take a joke?" He frowns, leaning back on the couch he's on. "He's in his room."I don't wait to hear the rest of this commentary on my mood. It's a sour one, thanks to my mom. When I get inside my room, I drop the duffel on the floor and throw the curtains open, letting the sunlight flood in. I just stand there for a second, staring around.Then I grab my phone.I stare at the screen. I don’t even know what I’m waiting for. A not







