6

The bathroom door closed behind Kael, and I stayed frozen in the hallway, my hand still locked around my handbag like it was the only solid thing left in the room. My heartbeat was so loud I could hear it over everything else. For a few seconds I just stared at that closed door.

"Idiot," I whispered, and I wasn't entirely sure whether I meant him or myself. Probably myself.

The phone was still vibrating inside my bag. I already knew who it was before I checked — Adrian, one missed call, and then a message sliding onto the screen: Are you okay? I locked it immediately. I had no business caring whether he was worried about me, and yet I did, and that was the part of the whole mess I hated most. I'd always assumed cheating started with hatred. It didn't. Sometimes it started with dissatisfaction, or curiosity, or one person making you feel desired while another made you feel safe — and sometimes, apparently, it started with being stupid enough to think you could keep two worlds from colliding.

I found Kael in the living room, standing at the window with his back to me, the gardens spread out beyond the glass. "Kael," I said. He didn't answer. I stepped closer. "Are you angry?"

"No," he said, and that single word was almost worse than a shout would have been.

"Then look at me."

He turned. His face was calm, but I knew him well enough to see the shift underneath it. "You don't trust me," he said.

"I do," I said.

"No," he said, quiet and certain. "You trust me when I'm easy to trust. The moment I ask a question you don't like, you go defensive."

"Because you keep questioning me."

"I know," he said, and looked down. "My Frenzy makes me suspicious."

"At least you know it."

"I also know it hurts you," he said, and that admission caught me off guard. He crossed the room toward me. "I don't want to become the man who makes you afraid to breathe."

My chest tightened, because he meant it. He was actually trying, and somehow that made everything harder instead of easier. I looked away. "I need privacy sometimes," I said.

"You can have it."

"Even from you?"

"Yes," he said, and reached for my hand. I hesitated before I let him take it, his thumb moving slowly over my knuckles. "I just need one thing from you," he said.

"What?"

"Don't make me feel like I'm losing you while I'm still holding you."

My throat closed up, because I had no answer for that, not one that wouldn't be a lie. That was exactly what I was doing to him.

I woke up alone the next morning. Kael had already gone, and for reasons I couldn't fully justify, the empty side of the bed bothered me more than it should have. He usually left a note when he had an early pack meeting. There wasn't one this time, and I told myself I didn't care while spending five minutes hunting for it anyway.

Downstairs, his mother, Eleanor Blackwood, was already at the table with her tea. "Where is Kael?" she asked.

"Pack meeting," I said.

She nodded, then let her eyes move over me, not warmly, more like she was taking inventory. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said. "You look tired."

"So does everyone."

She set the cup down with a small, deliberate click. "Serena, how long do you intend to continue living like this?"

"Like what?"

"As though you're waiting for something."

My stomach tightened. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I've watched you and Kael for a long time," she said, leaning back. "My son loves you."

"I know."

"But love is not the same as compatibility."

That one landed harder than I expected. "You don't want me with him," I said.

"I never said that."

"You don't have to."

Her expression hardened slightly. "I want Kael to be happy."

"So do I."

"Do you?" she asked, and the question hit somewhere I didn't want it to. Before I could answer, she went on. "My son has always been difficult. His Frenzy made him difficult even before he became Alpha. But he's spent years learning restraint."

"I know."

"And you're one of the few people who can calm him."

I looked down at the table. "I don't want that responsibility."

"Then perhaps you should ask yourself why," she said, and I hated how much that question stayed with me, because thinking too hard about any of it lately felt dangerous.

My phone buzzed before I could sit with it. Meet me at six. No name, no explanation, just four words that made my pulse jump. Eleanor watched my face. "Something wrong?" she asked.

"No," I said, pocketing the phone, and she didn't look convinced, but she let it go.

By six I was sitting in my car outside a quiet bookstore café, having spent the whole afternoon telling myself I wouldn't come and then coming anyway. I hated that about myself. Adrian was already inside, and he stood when he saw me, smiling like it cost him nothing. "You came," he said.

"I almost didn't."

"But you did." I sat across from him. "Why did you ask me here?" I asked.

He studied me for a moment. "You look tired."

"Everyone keeps saying that."

"Maybe everyone's noticing something you aren't," he said, and I frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He leaned in. "You're unhappy."

"I told you before—"

"You don't have to lie to me."

My jaw tightened. "Don't pretend you understand my relationship."

"I understand you don't smile around him the way you used to."

"That isn't your business."

"It becomes my business when you call me," he said, and I went still.

"I never called you."

"You didn't?" he asked, and for the first time he actually looked confused. He pulled out his phone. "I got a call from your number last night."

My stomach dropped. "That wasn't me."

"Then who was using your phone?" he asked, and I thought back to leaving my handbag unattended while I'd been with Kael. My fingers tightened on the edge of the table.

"Maybe it was accidental," I said, though I didn't believe it either.

Adrian reached across the table for my hand. I pulled it back. "Don't," I said.

He sighed. "Still afraid of him?"

"I'm not afraid of Kael."

"Then why do you keep checking the door?" he asked, and I realized I'd been doing exactly that. "You see?" he said, and I hated him a little for noticing.

I stood. "I should leave."

"Serena." I stopped. "I don't want to be your secret forever," he said.

I turned back. "You knew what this was."

"I thought you'd eventually choose."

"I never promised that."

His jaw tightened, and for the first time I saw real frustration crack through his composure. "You keep coming back," he said.

"And you keep waiting," I shot back.

He looked at me and neither of us said anything else, and that was when my stomach twisted, hard enough that I had to press a hand over my mouth. Adrian stood immediately. "Are you sick?" he asked.

"I'll be fine," I said, already hurrying for the bathroom.

I locked the door and just breathed for a while until the nausea faded, staring at my pale reflection with a hand pressed to my stomach. "Stress," I whispered to myself, because it had to be that — Kael, Adrian, my mother, the pack, all of it piling up until my body was the one keeping score.

When I came back out, Adrian offered to drive me home. "No," I said.

"Why?"

"Because I don't need you taking care of me."

He looked hurt for a second, then smiled anyway. "You really are determined to make everything difficult," he said.

"Goodbye, Adrian," I said, grabbing my bag, and he just watched me go. Neither of us noticed the black car parked across the street.

The house was dark when I got home. "Kael?" I called into the silence. Nothing answered. The living room was empty, the kitchen was empty, and then I saw it on the dining table, my silver bracelet, the one he'd given me, sitting beside a single folded note. My heart sank before I even opened it.

I need some time.

Three words, in handwriting I'd never seen him use with me before. I sat down slowly, and for the first time since I'd moved in, the house felt enormous and hollow all at once.

My phone buzzed. A message from Adrian: You shouldn't have left. Then, before I could even process that one, another followed. Someone followed you home.

My blood went cold. I rushed to the window and looked out, across the street, beneath the trees, a black vehicle sat parked in the dark, and I couldn't make out who was inside it. Then the headlights snapped on, and the car began to move.

Straight toward the house.